


Shadow Reign

by TristenCrone



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Badass Rey, Bonding, Character Turned Into Vampire, Explicit Language, F/M, Hate to Love, Love/Hate, Power Dynamics, Protective Kylo Ren, Rey Hates Kylo Ren, Sexual Content, Size Difference, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Vampire Turning, Vampires, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:14:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 50,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23089951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TristenCrone/pseuds/TristenCrone
Summary: Rey is a vampire slayer, part of the Sentinels, she has pledged to fight and kill the creatures that threaten to take over their world. Kylo is leader in the vampire Coalition, and he has a secret. Fascinated by the obstinate slayer and her stubborn refusal to give in or die, he watches her take on a platoon of his hoard and cannot bear to see her face the final death. How will he deal with the war within him, what will become of his fiercest enemy?
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 47
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter 1

Rey: Battle

The sound of fists pounding flesh filled her ears, only marginally louder than the rush in her own head, the blood surging in response to her panic. She had never been this outnumbered, it had been foolish to deviate so far from her team. Her anger had forced her into this situation, she had been unrelenting, despite the warning that rang through her mind. And now she paid the price.

Sweat dripped down her temple, pooling at her jaw, prickling down her neck. Her breath sawed in and out of her chest, painful. Her knuckles were bruised from the blows, her stake just out of reach. She shoved the creature back again, trying in vain to crawl to the wooden weapon. 

The bodies of the creatures she had obliterated littered the cavity around her, a reminder of her second foolish move. She was stuck, the walls of the crater too high to scale. She had run and slid right into it to escape the deluge. In doing so, she had effectively locked herself in an arena, and they just kept on coming.

“Agh, just give me a _freaking_ break!” She yelled when she felt that icy vice-like grip around her ankle, pulling her backwards.

She glanced over her shoulder at it, the frenzied eyes, fangs bared as it hissed at her.

One saving grace if one got close enough to her neck: the prototype formula the Resistance had developed made them repulsive to the vampires. Even starving, they would resist biting due to the vile smell. So, all she had to worry about was getting beaten to a pulp.

She kicked her unimpeded leg back, striking it in the face, the crunch of bone the most satisfying sound Rey had heard all day.

Her forearms dragged against the rocky ground, biting into her skin. So close.

Her fingers wrapped around the base, smooth wood cold against her palm. _Thank goodness_.

She whirled onto her back just in time. 

The creature leapt onto her, black blood dripping down its nose and into her face as it wrapped cold hands around her throat. It gave a humorless laugh at the rapid beat of her pulse against its palm, tightening.

Rey struggled for breath, trying to keep herself calm, trying to work the stake into the space between their bodies. She had to get it at the right angle in order to force it through the sternum correctly. If she didn’t, all she would do is push it further and draw attention to the stake. She had to land a killing blow.

She spat into its face, trying to anger it to the point where emotion could corrupt its actions. It worked.

It snarled, lifting her up at the neck, its face flush with her own, frothy spit dripping down its face. This was her moment. 

It forced her head back down and she took the shot, the sharp tip piercing skin and bone, straight through to the undead heart. Her mark was true, but she was not quick enough to slow its blow, and the back of her head hit the rocky ground with compelling force… a killing blow, for them both.

Her vision wavered, and her last thought was that she was grateful she had a chance to take out so many of them before she died. Her neck was slick with blood, her heart rate finally slowing, the dead-weight of the vampire pressing her into the stones.

Kylo: Rescue

He watched with incredulity. She was relentless. He had never seen a human fight with such passion, such animalistic rage. She fought as if the world depended on it, and to her he supposed it did.

He remembered the first time he had seen her fight, a year ago, maybe a little more. They had ambushed a military base, planning to capture or massacre as many soldiers as they could, trying to debilitate the effort against them. It had gone according to plan, and they had increased their ranks by the end of the day, but a small squad got away.

She was among them. And damned if she didn’t kick, scream and claw all the way out. Her friends had to force her to leave. She was determined to fight to the point of exhaustion or death, whichever came first.

He saw that same choice today. She had led the platoon away from her comrades, racing along the unforgiving landscape. They hid out in this inhospitable place, working on a cure, according to what his sources told him. She had taken on the task of diverting them so that her friends and comrades could escape.

He watched it all from his craft, binoculars in hand, cloaked in the sky.

He noted her panic when she realized she could not get back out of the crater, saw the resolute tensing of her jaw as she chose to stand her ground and fight.

She was a virago, unstoppable in the heat of battle. She cut them all down, her stake slashing through the air, arcs of frenetic movement followed by the heavy thud of a lifeless body dropping to the ground.

Injuries slowed her down, but she refused to give up. By the end she had beaten all of them, save for one especially tough bastard. He had no idea why he couldn’t look away. He should have been concerned with the fact that that puny girl had wiped out twenty of his best men, instead he stood inert, afraid to avert his eyes lest she fall.

His soldier knocked her down, her stake clattering away from her, still she crawled toward it, not even taking a moment to catch her breath. She kicked it, finally breaking free to grab the weapon. Kylo could see the soldier leap, determined to kill her. She turned around just in time to stop his assault. They grappled on the ground, her exhausted body seeming to finally betray her.

She spat in his man’s face, and he couldn’t believe the fire that still burned in her eyes. It only served in incense the soldier more, but he could see the cunning smile on her face as the soldier took the bait.

The soldier yanked her toward him, snarling into her face, and she took his movement as the opportunity she so sorely needed. Too late, as the soldier slammed her down into the ground, but her stake found it’s mark and she seemed pleased. A small smile lifting a corner of her mouth before her eyes rolled back in her head.

 _No_ , the vehement thought shocked him. And yet, he found himself lowering the craft. Rushing down to the earth, his cloak floating behind him as he ran to her. No one here to witness his actions, no one the wiser.

None to question why he cared for a small, mortal girl. One who had just killed his men.

He hoisted the dead vampire from her body, tossing him aside. Rich red blood pooling around her head like a halo, the sight of her slight body broken on the ground undid him. The smell was disgusting. He had no idea how they managed to change their blood chemistry to be so abhorrent, but he fought the bile climbing up his throat as he lifted her head, gently placing it in his lap.

Her eyelids fluttered, her lips slowly turning white from the blood loss, her heart slowing, pumping all her blood onto the ground beneath them. He didn’t have much time to waste.

He had never turned anyone himself. All of the people they managed to capture were taken to one of the elders to be turned. He was merely there to oversee the ground teams, leader of the infiltration branch. They were responsible for targeting groups that threatened the strength of the colony, and on occasion they were sent on retrieval missions, amassing new recruits.

The elders were responsible for turning and training new recruits, proselytizing their cause, fueling the fire that kept the machine running.

It was forbidden for anyone other than an elder to turn a mortal, for reasons that had not been explained, but he found himself unable to watch the life fade from her body, and so despite the stomach-turning stench he pressed his lips to her throat to ingest what little remained of her essence.

After the first droplets slid down his throat he pulled back, fighting the gag that threatened, biting his wrist until he drew blood, forcing the wound to her mouth, willing some of it to drip down into her body.

He held his wrist there for a few minutes, until he felt the stinging wound start to itch. Pulling away he ran his tongue over the puncture holes, the saliva sealing the wound, speeding up the healing.

It would take a few hours at least for all the venom to spread, for him to fully turn her. He had to get them out of there, before her friends or his superiors came looking for them. For now, he had to hide her away, until he figured out a way around the rule, if he didn’t they would both face the final death.

He lifted her up, her slight weight surprising, when she fought she looked larger than life, like this, her body still and lifeless… she wasn’t much bigger than a girl, her wild hair damp with blood, the smattering of freckles on her nose and cheeks stark against her paper-white skin, the blood loss making her look like she was already dead.

Not if he had anything to do with it. He carried her onto his ship, punching in the coordinates for his home, leaving a message with his superiors that he had been injured and would need to recuperate for a few days before he would be well enough to resume his regular duties.

Luckily his spy had reported that they had successfully infiltrated the lab, so hopefully that news would be enough to buy him a grace period.

He placed her down gently on the cot in the back of the cockpit and ran his fingers through his messy hair. Things just got very, very complicated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey awakes to find herself in a strange environment, lured by the sound of a man's voice nearby.

2

She woke slowly, in lazy increments, and for the first time in two years she didn’t leap up at the first stir of consciousness. Something was different.

This felt almost like a dream.

The bed beneath her was too soft to be her usual cot or roll on the floor. Her body did not ache with the exertion of the previous day and the chronic stab she usually felt in her left hip was nowhere to be found.

It was as if she was whole again, as if she had never seen a day of battle.

She was reluctant to open her eyes, not wanting to shatter the illusion. So instead, she basked in the soft warmth of the light breaking through and falling on her chest. She stretched her limbs out, feeling the delicious pull all the way through her fingertips straight to the bridges of her feet.

Rey could pick up a faint scent from the pillow underneath her head, the nutty aroma of sandalwood dancing with a smoky musk that was decidedly male.

_What the hell was going on?_

She knew it had been a while since she had fantasized about anything, but as far as fantasies went this one was weird as hell. Who dreamt of a soft bed and a lingering male scent?

 _Pull yourself together_.

She risked opening one eye, feeling ridiculous, like a child checking to see if a monster waited behind the safety of her eyelid. What she saw had her opening both of her eyes, shooting up in the bed.

Covered in red dust and blood, she sullied the light gray coverlet, her boots had been removed but otherwise she was still in her usual uniform. Her tank top was crusted with sweat and dirt, the back of it caked with what she assumed was blood and mud.

 _God_ , she was a mess.

They must have been able to retrieve her, she had managed to kill all the vamps before she passed out, though she had been sure that she was going to die.

The room around her looked state-of-the-art, the cool gray palette of the it carried on beyond just the bedding. A desk was set up in the corner, a calligraphy set, and curling paper huddled off-center, a laptop bedside them, the contrast of old and new intriguing to her.

Beyond the closed door she heard the muffled hum of a song, the low crooning washing over her like a warbling creek over stones, smoothing them over time.

“ _Come guess me this riddle, what beats pipe and fiddle?_

_What’s hotter than mustard and milder than cream?_

_What best whets your whistle, what’s clearer than crystal?_

_Sweeter than honey and stronger than steam?”_

She was drawn to the sound and a quiet warning sounded in her head, all too easy to ignore.

“ _What can make the dumb talk, and make the lame walk,_

_What’s the elixir of life, and philosopher’s stone?”_

Exiting the room, following the sound down the hall, she picked up another sound, under the lure of the melody. The spray of water called to her, almost more tempting than the siren song, though she didn’t know if she’d ever heard of male sirens.

The closer she got the easier it was to make out the sound. He sung a lilting tune, his voice caressing the silent void surrounding them.

“ _So, stick to the creatur’, the best thing in nature,_

_For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys._

_And boys I’d oft wondered if lightning and thunder,_

_Was made from the plunder of whiskey me’ boys”_

The song sounded old, but she realized by the end of the verse that he was singing about alcohol.

She felt drunk herself, his voice heady and thick, and she wondered if the face matched the velvet of his song.

If this was a dream, and she was increasingly realizing that it _most probably_ wasn’t, it was the most pleasant dream she’d had in a while. Her nights were usually plagued with decaying corpses and fanged attacks, always running away from something.

The water cut off, the words disappearing into a jaunty hum. Her feet planted right outside the door, her hand reached out on its own volition, turning the handle and pressing ahead, ignoring that warning again.

She was met by a sight that left her mouth parched and her heart beating double time.

Terry cloth gathered around his hips, the dark fabric hiding part of his lower body, but doing nothing to obscure the muscular ridges of his back. His black hair, heavy with water, curled around his shoulders and she wondered at the lushness of his curls when dry.

He raked his hand through that hair, droplets of water leaping off his head, one hitting her in the face, still not enough to break her gaze.

The mass of him was impressive, the breadth of those shoulders intimidating. His body was honed for war, scars crisscrossing what she could see. She would have hated to fight him, knew instinctively that she wouldn’t have stood a chance.

Instead she stood mute, marveling over the sheer masculine beauty, ridged and edged like he was carved from a slab of marble.

His hand reached down, pulling the towel away from his body to fluff against his hair, trying to rid it of the deluge of water that clung to each strand… and in doing so exposed his massive thighs, and tight but generous backside.

Rey gasped at the sight, suddenly the spell broken when she realized she was spying on a man she didn’t know. With her abrupt inhalation she choked on her own spit, and he spun around at the sound. The towel gripped in his fist, shoved in front of his body to maintain some sort of modesty, he hissed at her. White fangs pushed out over a surprisingly full lower lip.

Enough to shock her to full consciousness, and she crouched into position to fight, her own hiss snaking its way out her throat, surprising her. She had never hissed a day in her life.

A bigger shock, a testament to her now walking nightmare, were the fangs that she felt pricking her own lip.

The surprise of the revelation knocked her back, and she took a step away, and then another. Her filthy hands shaking as she lifted them to her mouth. She pressed her fingertips against the sharp teeth, a sting drawing blood, and she looked down at the droplets of black blood staining the creases in her hands.

“What the hell? No, _no,_ this cannot be happening!” She panicked.

His heavy sigh drew her attention back to him, and that rebellious part of her brain took the time to note that he had tied the towel around his waist once again.

His face was beautiful, angled and strong, offset by those lush lips and dark lashes that winged out over the bottomless pools of his eyes, brown peppered with the lush green of forests and golden sunlight. Penitent. He looked apologetic and she started to piece together what must be happening.

“ _You…_ you did this to me,” she accused, venom and hatred like gravel in her voice.

His face flashed with a hundred thoughts, too quick to read.

“I…” he started, as if he was still reaching for a mitigation tactic, but he faltered.

“Yes, yes I did. I turned you, so that makes you my fledgling,” he said with an air of incredulity, the possessiveness in his statement a jolt to her system.

“Well, you will pay for that, I assure you,” she promised, the threat clear.

He chuckled, incensing her more, the humor doing something to his face that made her stomach flip in more than just anger.

“Of that I have no doubt, I’m sure you’ll end up being my deepest regret. Might I know the name of the one who will strike me down?” he asked, the barely contained mirth driving her to madness.

“Rey,” she muttered through her teeth.

“ _Rey…_ ” he whispered, the sound of her name on those lips intoxicating, he seemed to taste the shape of it in his mouth, caressing the short syllable all the way through.

“I’m Kylo Ren, but you can call me sire,” he said, enjoying the exchange between them far too much.

“ _You_ can kiss my ass, you rotting sack of meat,” she spat back, fear and ire fueling her desire to run, but she had nowhere to go.

“Yes, I’m sure you will be my deepest regret, but for now why don’t you lower those hackles and take a shower yourself. Clearly you need it,” he said, inching his way closer, until she could feel the heat of his body, his eyes burning their way down her body as his took in her appearance, in order to make his point. Then he turned his back on her, heading back the way she came, that infuriating tune bouncing along the empty passage, assaulting her with its glee.

 _Smug vampire bastard_ , she thought.

Vampire.

She was a vampire.

_Fuck._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo Ren deal with the intricacies of their new situation, both of them out of their depth.

3

He hadn’t felt this shaken since he was first turned. He struggled to keep his emotions in check in front of her and it almost cost him his composure. How was he supposed to know she was spying on him in the shower? Impudent girl. 

Though a small, secret part of him basked in the memory of how affected she had been by him. It had been a long time since he had been stirred by a woman, and it surprised him that it was so much stronger now that he was no longer mortal.

Being a vampire came with changes he had not foreseen, a sharpness and coldness that made him more effective at killing and stalking. Vampires, once they learnt to curb their initial insatiability, had a sense of control that would put mortals to shame. It never occurred to him that his hard-won control could be threatened by a little spitfire covered in the remnants of battle.

He ran his hand through his damp hair, a habit left over from before, trying to get rid of some of the nervous energy that surrounded him. A fledgling. _His_ fledgling. The possessiveness he felt over her was another unexpected complication. He had no idea if that was due to how he had felt about her before or if there was some truth to the rumored blood bonds. 

Part of the reason it was forbidden for anyone other than an elder to turn a mortal was the threat of a blood bond, loyalty only between sire and fledgling. Apparently, it had caused fighting within the ranks, jealousy and squabbling, not conducive for a functioning army. 

_If_ that held any truth they were in for a wealth of trouble, far worse than the Coalition finding out he had turned her illicitly.

He tuned in to his enhanced power, upset that he hadn’t paid close enough attention before, and heard the pelting water of the shower hitting the floor. Her soft sigh as the hot water washed away the mess of yesterday.

He bristled at the sound, the little contented purr at the back of her throat turning his thoughts in an instant, and he forced himself away from the sound, once again fighting to regain his control. 

This may have been a massive mistake.

He had no idea how he was going to keep her hidden. The only reason he had his own quarters and so much freedom was because he had proven his loyalty and willingness to attend to any task, no questions asked. Turning her invalidated all of that.

And just like that, as if they could read his mind, his comms beeped with an incoming call.

He held the device up to his face, forcing extra gravel into his voice.

“Ren,” he said.

“Glad to hear you’re still alive, seems like your team wasn’t as lucky,” Hux said, the sarcasm thick in his voice.

“No, they were not as lucky. The mortals are plucky and desperate. But we were able to breach the lab, the infiltration team extracted the data they were working on. We’re unsure exactly what we’re looking at, but it was a breakthrough we sorely needed,” Kylo said, trying to deflect.

“The Coalition may be forgiving due to your lucky break but know that the men and I know your mission was a failure. A whole platoon was wiped out by one mortal, a _girl_ at that. Please tell me she was at least dealt with?” Hux demanded, eager to rub the screw up in his face.

“She is no longer alive,” Ren said, careful not to give anything away in the tone of his voice.

“Good, at least one thing in our favor. But I know you were not injured as badly as you claim to our superiors. Take a few days to nurse your pride, and then we expect you back and ready to go. We need to replenish the platoon you lost,” Hux said and Kylo Ren cursed that they knew each other so well. He should have foreseen that Hux would not accept a request for leave that easily.

He was in charge of helping the elders train the new recruits, and he took great ire in the fact that he was kept at the facility with no field missions, despite the fact that his father was an elder and he had been part of the army for much longer than Kylo Ren. 

His mind was so busy worrying about Hux and their mutual animosity that he didn’t notice that Rey had come up behind him again, clad in her own towel, her hair wet and hanging down, free from its usual confinement in the buns she had every time he’d seen her.

“Hey, asshole, stop gawking!” she exclaimed, her cheeks darkening with embarrassment as he took her in.

Her body had healed from its fight, the blood and bruises were all gone, and she stood in front of him, barefoot, dripping hair cascading down her shoulders.

Her skin was kissed by the sun, those freckles he had noticed earlier smattering across her nose and cheeks carried down over her shoulders. Her honeyed eyes sparked with irritation. All he could focus on was how small she was, dwarfed in his towel, the cloth covering her chest all the way past her knees.

“You should get some clothes on,” he said.

“ _You_ should get some clothes on! You’ve been in here for at least fifteen minutes and you’re still bumming around in a towel?” she scoffed, “besides, my clothes were ruined from the fight, so I don’t _have_ any clothes to get on,” she said, gripping the towel to her chest as if it were impenetrable armor.

“Oh,” he said, struck dumb. The concept of feeding her and clothing her had not even sprung to mind, and he fought the spiral of worry that threatened. What was one even supposed to _do_ with a fledgling?

He had never trained any of the fledglings, he had no idea if they were different from the soldiers he dealt with on a daily basis.

“Uhm, I’ll work on getting you your own wardrobe. For now… uh, I could give you some of my clothes?” he offered.

She sneered in disgust, the thought of touching something that belonged to him and had sat on his body obviously repulsive to her. But she seemed to give in, out of desperation he was sure.

“Well I’m not about to traipse around naked, so I guess I have no choice,” she said, her voice low, disgruntled at the notion. “But could you please see to yourself first, I’m starting to think you enjoy making me uncomfortable,” she said, gesturing to his bare chest.

“Fine,” he said tugging open the wardrobe, tossing a shirt over his shoulder at her, followed by a pair of drawstring shorts.

She caught both, a little yelp behind him letting him know that his ploy had been successful, she must have felt her towel start to drop when she tried to keep up with the clothes being thrown at her.

“Hey!” she complained, he glanced over his shoulder to see that she had the clothes and the towel clutched to her chest, trying to keep it covered.

He shrugged and opened his underwear drawer.

“Do you need a pair of underwear?” he asked, rifling through to see if he had anything too small that she might be able to use.

She sputtered behind him, caught off guard and he fought the smile that tugged at his mouth. He was having far too much fun playing with her, far too much fun in general. But he knew it couldn’t last, and so he didn’t suppress the mirth any further.

He tugged his towel away from his body and heard her scoff, the frustrated little mewl too cute to handle.

“I don’t… you… can you cover yourself?” she begged, her voice further away, and he realized she must have spun around.

He chuckled under his breath, tugging on his underwear, donning a shirt and shorts in moments. He saw an old pair of underwear, from when he had been younger, a lucky pair he’d barely worn. His parents had gotten them for him as a holiday gift gag.

He pushed away the memory, loathe to have his past turn this moment dour. She’d brought more entertainment than he’d had in years and feeling lighthearted with the current state of affairs seemed almost impossible. He didn’t want it to end.

His fingers curled around the underwear, the ridiculous aircraft print, he balled it in his fist.

“Hey Rey, it’s safe to look,” he said, trying to sound neutral.

She peeked over her shoulder carefully, one eye open, the other shut, like a child peeking during grace. He waited until she opened both.

Tossing the small bundle into the air, quicker than she could move, the fabric fluttered down, covering her head and eyes.

“Found you a pair of underwear,” he finished softly, trying to stop himself from laughing, the effort straining his stomach muscles. He knew he was going to be in trouble for that one.

“I am going to kill you,” she promised, her tone deceptively calm, plucking the offending material from her head, her eyes ablaze.

“You can try, but you won’t be able to follow through,” he said.

She looked confused, offended even, and he realized she assumed he was questioning her ability.

“And why the hell not? I took out fifteen of your men,” she said, her chin jutting up with pride, ridiculous as she stood before him partially naked and clutching his clothes.

“ _Twenty_. Twenty of my men. Your skill is not in question here,” he assured her.

“Then what?” she asked, irritated with his cat-and-mouse game.

“You’re my fledgling,” he stated, as if she should have known the implication.

“Yeah, so you’ve mentioned?” she said.

“I’m your sire, my blood flows through your veins, my power transferred and shared with you. If I’m cut down you will die as well, and you will not allow that to happen, just on a basic survival level. Your body will take over, you won’t be able to kill me because of what it means for you. You’ll also automatically want to fight anything that threatens me,” he said.

“That sounds like the fakest crap I’ve ever heard…” she started.

He ignored her.

“And then from my end, because my blood and power flow through you, I am vulnerable through you, I am your protector and teacher, any threat to you is a threat to my own life-force, so I’ll want to fight anything that threatens you as well,” he finished, not doing a very good job of hiding his annoyance at the fact. He really had not thought this through very well at all. Not being able to see her die was one thing, fighting and dying for her himself was a whole other situation.

She seemed stumped, not knowing what to make of the information, mulling it over for a while before she came to some conclusion.

“So then why did you turn me? It sounds like such a dangerous and inconvenient _partnership_ ,” she struggled over the word, disgusted. “Why didn’t you just let me die out there?”

“I have no idea,” he said, his voice flat with honesty, shocking them both.

He cleared his throat, moving past her to leave the room.

“Get dressed and then meet me in the room at the end of the hall. It’s time to start your training,” he said.

“First lesson: feeding,” he finished, the click of the door behind him the final blow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren explains some of the mechanics of Rey's new condition, and she fights to control her hunger. The war within, between who she wants to be and what her body demands is almost more than she can bear.

4

Rey didn’t scare easily, she held her own with hoards of monsters coming at her. She hadn’t even freaked out the first time she got her period, after no one bothered to explain it to her. Once she realized that her death was imminent, she calmly stuffed her underwear with tissues and went about her day.

Her guardian only realized because Rey had tied a shirt around her waist, following some leakage. After a painfully embarrassing talk, for both of them, Rey learnt about various bodily fluids, including blood, and how to get the stains out of clothing.

It still came in handy now.

But she was nervous today, off-kilter for more reasons than one.

She had felt out of it since waking, and now it made sense. Knowing that she was one of _them_ , turned against her will. The rage pulsed through her body, every nerve-ending ready to respond, all she had to do was unleash it.

Her emotions were heightened, as if experiencing them for the first time, raw and overwhelming. And he didn’t help at all. Freaking _Kylo Ren_ , with his teasing and the constant smirk on his oh-so-punchable face. Stupid made-up vampire name. He was ridiculous, and if what he said was true, she couldn’t even kill him without killing herself.

“Ugh!” she yelled, tossing the towel across the room, knocking over his quill set.

“Shit… _shit, shit, shit,”_ she muttered under her breath. She did not want him to come back in here. Tiding up her mess as quickly as she could, the goosebumps prickling on her skin reminded her of her nudity.

She made quick work of pulling on the oversized clothing, tightening the string on the pants over the underwear so that neither would fall down and humiliate her. The shirt hung lank on her frame, pooling around her thighs. She looked ridiculous. She _felt_ ridiculous.

And thanks to his comment she was reminded of another feeling: complete and insatiable hunger.

She walked back down the passage, this time not lured by his siren-song, rather a deep pit of dread sat heavy in her stomach.

Her bare feet padded softly against the slab floor, cold and severe, like everything else she had seen so far. Not sure whether she was at a vampire compound or his own residence, either way the décor sucked.

No amount of distraction could take away her fear. How would she do this? She did not want to kill another mortal… or just a mortal, since she no longer was one herself. She couldn’t bring herself to do it.

She thought of the person screaming, running away, trying desperately to escape her. Or maybe they kept them tied up, whimpering behind a gag, just waiting to die. She couldn’t be that evil.

And even as she told herself that, she felt the frenzy within her, the drive to feed, too loud to still. She worried that she would get carried away, even the thought of feeding was enough to have her obsess about her hunger. What would happen when she was faced with the real deal?

Her hand hovered over the door handle at the end of the hall. Shaking she pushed forward, going about her day, once again, her need to survive overpowering the nerves that she set aside.

She did not know what to expect, but a regular kitchen had not been it. New appliances, granite countertops, sink. Just the normal deal.

Kylo Ren was bent over, rummaging through a stainless-steel refrigerator, his shorts pulled taut against his legs.

“Good, you worked up the nerve to come in, either that or the hunger overpowered your fear,” he said and gestured for her to sit on the stool at the breakfast nook.

“We’re going to start you off slow, and that will give us a chance to go over some basics,” he said, as if he’d had time to think it all over and his game plan was solidified.

“I’m not going to kill a mortal, you can’t make me,” she said, the statement bursting from her lips before she could stop herself.

“First of all: yes, exactly right. You will not be killing a mortal today. And trust me, if we did have one on hand, I’d be more concerned with the fact that I would be _unable_ to stop you from killing one. Not letting you bite a mort, you’ll rip it to pieces and we need them to supply us cause they’re kind of rare these days. You haven’t learned the necessary control yet, and I would hate to waste one like that,” he said, surprising her.

“Wasting a mortal? You say that as if you have any regard for mortal life in the first place,” she said and he sighed.

“It’s complicated, and I’m not sure how much to even divulge to you. I know you would jump the second the opportunity presented itself to leave. I also know you would head right back to your mortal friends, and it would turn into a bloodbath. But these are important things to know if you were to have any chance of making a success of your second life,” he said.

She shut up at that, fighting back the remark she wanted to make and listened.

This would be invaluable. Any information she could get about how they operated, their strengths and weaknesses. This was a trove and she could not mess up this opportunity, no matter how much she despised him and his kind… _their_ kind.

He reached back into the refrigerator pulling out a baggie of blood, like the medical kind she had seen in infirmaries. Even just the sight of it had her gripping the countertop, ready to rip it from his hands.

“We’ll start you off slow, and with an explanation. Because as soon as you start feeding, you won’t want to stop and you won’t pay any attention,” he said, placing the baggie beside him on his side of the island and closing the door to the fridge.

“Vampirism is great, it also sucks a lot of the time,” he started and she rolled her eyes at him. He caught the movement and the corner of his mouth twitched with a suppressed grin, “No pun intended,” he said.

Her eyes could not look away from the blood, his large hand obscuring most of it.

“Pros: we heal extremely fast, we do not need as much sleep, our senses are heightened. Our bodies are harder, stronger and so we sustain less damage in battle and due to the previous thing I mentioned, we tend to be better fighters because we can gauge and react quicker. Our lifespans are increased dramatically, but we are not completely immortal, despite the myths… I’ll get to those later,” he said.

He lifted up the bag and alternated it between his hands, stopping just short of carelessly tossing it between them. Rey’s agitation was mounting, the hungry part of her did not have time for this drivel, the other part was having a really hard time staying focused.

“Ways we can die: staking, which you are very well-versed in, direct sunlight, incineration… that one kind of ties in with sunlight and is excruciating, beheading, and lastly, starvation,” he finished, displaying the bag, reaching it out to her slightly and then pulling away when she leaned toward it, shaking his head.

“Your skin is not bulletproof, so don’t get shot, you can still break bones and bruise and all the fun stuff you could do as a mortal, you just heal quicker. The catch with that is it hurts far more, your sense of touch being so sensitive, coupled with how rapidly your cells have to mutate and destroy themselves to keep you healthy… it’s better to just avoid injury if you can. Any questions yet?” he asked.

She thought about it, her memory from this morning stirring.

“If sunlight will kill us, how was I able to experience the feel of it on my skin this morning?” she asked.

He nodded at her, pleased that she had put those aspects together.

“Direct sunlight will kill you. What we have here, and at the main compound, is a specially designed glass that filters out almost all of the ultraviolet rays. Our aircrafts and ground transport are equipped with the same. It would be very hard to keep the colony and the army running if we were relegated to only half the day,” he finished.

And it made so much sense, _god_ , it was ridiculous that the Resistance had not figured that out by now. They always operated under the assumption that the vampires could travel unnaturally fast, or that they had humans that helped them. But if they were not hindered by the sunlight, a whole advantage was just wiped away.

“The downside is that if you are exposed for too long you will blister and it will severely dehydrate you, to the point that your body begins to feed on its own blood cells to try and replenish you. Painful, and in dire cases just a slow way to die. Limit your sun exposure as much as possible,” he said.

“You think you can hold out a little longer for the blood? I’m almost done with the first lesson,” he said, once again stretching that hand out, offering her the bag.

Somehow, she knew this was a test, and she didn’t want to give in to him. She wanted to prove that she was above this, above him.

“I can wait,” she said, her jaw tight around the words, her stomach muscles tensed to stop her from moving on the stool.

His expression flashed for a moment, and she thought she read surprise, and pleasure, but he masked it before she could be sure.

“Okay then. Cons: Hunger. The urge to feed is constant, never quiet. Over time you will learn how to ignore and suppress that desire, how to quell the ache. Our bodies operate at levels so much higher and faster than our old ones, and so they constantly need to be fed. Our biochemistry has changed, mutated from what we were, but we function the same. Without fuel, we are nothing,” he said, leaning his forearms onto the island, his face now level with hers, and so much closer than before.

His hair had mostly dried, soft waves surrounding his face, curling against his neck and shoulders. His eyes were on hers, serious and intense. He broke contact to look down at the blood in his hands, the movement drawing her eye and she stared transfixed at it, hating herself for wanting it so much.

She swallowed, throat parched, a tumbleweed would have gone down easier.

“We need blood to replenish our own dwindling stores of platelets and white and red blood cells, our bodies cannot sustain themselves, the way they did before, and if we tried, we would break down. Like putting diesel into a petrol car. Bad news, do not try to eat mortal food, okay?” he asked.

Her eyes were still locked on the plastic, the tempting glug of the liquid moving back and forth within his grip.

“Okay,” she said, her focus almost depleted.

“Unfortunately, we rely on mortals for that fuel, and because of that, because we try to exploit that resource and build our armies to fight for it, we now outnumber them. Which is not good for our continued survival. We are running on reserves, most of us feeding from diluted blood or cut with extra plasma, not as nutritious, not as sustaining. Which is partly why you were able to take out so many of my men. Rationing is happening and it is detrimental. We rely on mortals for our creation, our survival, and also need to kill them to do it. It’s a crap system,” he said, another sigh escaping his lips.

He ran his free hand over his face, as if to wipe away some of what concerned him.

“More cons: Vampires cannot reproduce, we have to be turned. There are some theories, mostly owing to the fact that our aging process is slowed down dramatically but our cells change so often, it’s not really conducive for a fetus to thrive, if you were even able to catch a female ovulating in time,” he said and she was struck with a thought she had never had.

_Vampires can fuck?_

Huh? She had always assumed that because they were dead, they had no blood, it was just decaying matter, kind of like zombies, and so they couldn’t… get it up.

“ _That_ , coupled with the fact that we are fighting for survival on a limited supply of resources… relationships are very tenuous, barely even friendly between our kind. We all want to get the blood bag, more than we want to hear about feelings. Plus, fraternization is prohibited, the Coalition does not want us putting our personal feelings and agendas above that of the colony. We collapse if we give in to our baser needs, including the hunger,” he said, swinging the bag to and fro between his fingertips.

“Which is why this whole time, we were working on control… and you did a pretty good job holding out,” he said, slightly impressed by the fact that she hadn’t tackled him to the ground yet, despite how much she wanted to.

“You ever had tomato soup?” he asked, and it seemed like a ridiculous question given the amount of information he had just dumped on her.

“Yes, what kind of question is that?” she retorted.

“Did you like it warm or cold? Tomato Soup or Gazpacho?” He asked.

“Those are actually two different recipes, so much more than just a temperature difference between them,” she started and he just stared her down, not having any of it.

“Warm soup,” she relented.

“Okay, coming right up,” he said, turning his back on her, popping the bag into the microwave and hitting the button for two minutes.

Her eyes were glued to the spinning disk and the red that sat atop it, _nothing_ , in the mortal world or this one, was slower than a microwave minute.

She could feel his eyes on her, but she ignored him, not able to concentrate on anything but the gnawing hollow at her center, overwhelming and sharp.

The digital counter teased her. Glowing lights that just left her more frustrated. If she had known she would have to wait she would’ve just taken it cold.

Eventually, it beeped, the sound had never inspired such joy before. He reached into a drawer, something in his hand when he closed it back up, and pulled the blood from the microwave.

He stuck the bag with a straw and held it out to her.

This time she did not hesitate.

Her greedy fingers gripped the bag so tightly her fingernails would have pierced it if the plastic hadn’t been that sturdy.

Her tongue found the straw, squeezing the bag as she gulped down the liquid.

She heard herself moan, the wanton sound would have embarrassed her before, but not now. All she could focus on was the taste, the feel of it entering her body. Ambrosia. Intoxicating.

It was over too soon, the bag almost vacuum-sealed from her suction, the straw making obnoxious noises as it begged for more than just air.

He reached over and pulled the baggie from her hands, and she hissed at him, fangs fully extended, shocking them both with her vehemence.

“Okay, you and I both know the bag is empty,” he admonished, “And you won’t get to feed for at least another eight hours, so you need to calm down. Focus on something else, distract yourself. It gets easier over time,” he promised, dropping the empty bag into a trash can.

“And don’t even think about trying to raid the fridge when I’m not looking, it operates on a timer and will remain locked until the next feeding time,” he said, already reading her mind.

“I’ve been there, you’ll be okay,” he said.

And she knew he meant it to be somewhat reassuring, but all she could think was that she would never be okay again. She drank mortal blood, relished every last drop. She couldn’t go back, nothing would ever be the same again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo admits that their lives are in danger and tells Rey the truth about the blood-bond.

5

He left her in the kitchen, trying to gather himself in the insufficient number of steps to his bedroom. Kylo was stressed, beyond what his usual job dictated. Running a division, supervising troops and planning infiltration missions, none of those things came easy and all of them were taxing. But somehow none of it compared to being responsible for another being.

Rey was his fledgling now, his to train, his to protect… a fact that was very complicated when he factored in they both would be killed if she was discovered, and she wanted nothing more than to see him dead.

He could only buy so much time, their lives were barely their own in the colony. The Coalition kept a watchful eye over every member, a careful reminder that what was given could be taken away at any time.

None of them had to pay for food or shelter. Training was essential for all members, even the ones not on the frontlines. But even though no funds were required, they paid the price in privacy and what would amount to a mortal lifetime of service, slowly earning perks that made staying more palatable. Once they had paid their dues, they were allowed to live out their days, removed from the compound.

Unfortunately, Kylo could count the ones that survived that long on one hand. Others that disliked the system in place and tried to rebel were met a swift end.

Some of the Elders had done enough but chose to remain in the Coalition to enforce the structures in place, strengthen their numbers by turning and training new recruits. Hux’s father was one of them. It seemed as if Hux would never take his father’s place on the council of Elders, much to his disappointment.

He made it very clear that he considered himself above Kylo, every chance he got, because he was heir to a place on the council and militia practically ran through his veins.

Kylo Ren was a nobody, plucked from a deep mortal pit, one of the few recruits they hadn’t forced to turn. He was hungry, eager to carve out a place for himself, prove that he was worth something. His parents were sickeningly noble, always did the right thing, expected him to do the same… but never stuck around long enough to enforce it.

And one of the other elders, Snoke, noticed it right away. He saw the potential that no one had bothered to shape or hone. For the first time he got to earn a legacy, instead of just inheriting one he didn’t want. Hux resented that, given how hard he leaned into his supposed right to inherit power.

Kylo didn’t wait around, he took it. He rose in the ranks, with every mission he proved himself more ruthless, more keen-minded, more different from what had been expected of him in his former life.

But she… was going to ruin all of that.

So stupid, so impulsive. He wasn’t supposed to make mistakes, less so these massive ones. Now he was training her, as if she stood a chance outside of his quarters.

He hadn’t thought any of this through. He didn’t have enough blood for both of them, his ration was barely enough for himself, and now he had to share with newly turned, and ravenous fledgling. _Idiot_.

His comms beeped with an incoming message and he reached over to read the screen.

**The Elders are not happy with your numbers.**

**Lab investigation was useless, no new**

**information gained and the mortals all escaped.**

**They are talking about taking extreme measures**

**to wipe out this insurgent force.**

**You better be here for that meeting – General Armitage Hux**

Hux was the only one he knew that signed with his full title every time, as if to remind everyone of his supposed importance. All it did was remind Kylo that he couldn’t stand him.

He had a day, maybe two, and that was pushing it. They would come for him then, demanding his return to his post. He had to train her, as quickly as he could, and then he would have to find a way to permanently hide her, or let her go.

The thought was like a punch to the gut. His blood screamed at him, reminding him of an uncomfortable truth that was getting harder to ignore. The stories were true, he knew that it didn’t happen often, knew that the Elders had learnt how to turn vampires without forming bonds. Their iron-fisted rule served as enough of a binding agent, ensuring fear and loyalty, but not the frenzy that came with bonds, to spare the Elders from the emotional turmoil and drain that could occur.

A warning he should have heeded.

Even now he was aware of the confusion within her, the hunger that burnt through the lining of her stomach. The reality of it had hit home when she fed, her feelings had been so intense, there was no doubt.

They were blood-bound.

And it was agony.

His mind and body were on opposing sides, something he had managed to suppress for years now, but her presence threw it all into sharp relief. He was questioning everything, trying to ignore the primal urge that seemed to overpower rationality.

He had never felt anything of this magnitude. Harsher even than the time he got caught in the sun after a difficult mission, when he had to hide under his cloak for hours, the rays slowly killing him.

The bond was an acute ache, the thought of anything happening to her pushing him to the edge of his tolerance. His body was in fight mode, desperately seeking a danger that so far existed only within his mind.

He gripped the edge of his desk, fingers biting into the smooth wood, bent over with the weight of his choices.

 _God_ , _what was he going to do?_

Snoke would be furious, Hux would be smug, he would be dead.

They would have to have a serious talk, he needed to prep her as much as he could, so they both could be ready for the fallout.

“Hey, are you… okay?” she asked, hesitating in the doorway, her slender fingers wrapped around the door frame, as if to stop herself from entering.

“I…” he started, unsure what to say. The truth slipped out instead. “No, not really,” he finished.

Her eyebrows shot up at that, clearly not what she had been expecting, and he suspected that she didn’t know how to respond to his honesty.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, hesitating, her fingers now deftly pulling her hair back into a single bun, a thick strand forgotten at the nape of her neck, curling in defiance.

“I don’t even know how much you’ll believe, or what you’ll do with the information when you have it, but you deserve a chance. And as appalling as I was in my first life and have been in this one, something about you makes me want to do this differently,” he said.

She frowned, not sure what to make of what he’d said.

“Okay? I’m not sure what that means, but thank you, I guess?” she said.

He sighed, pulling the chair out from the desk and sitting down, gesturing for her to take a seat on the bed nearby.

She slipped into the room carefully, trying to keep her distance, he knew she must have been nervous.

“If they find you here, they will kill us both,” he said, a deep sigh escaping with the truth of their situation. The words jolted her to attention and she sat up straight, her brow a dark furrowed line, body leaning forward now. No longer giving in to her nerves. Her survival instinct was kicking in.

 _Good_.

“Why?” she asked, her hands folded together, resting on the top of her knees.

“It’s forbidden for anyone other than an Elder to turn a mortal. A covenant I broke when I turned you,” he said.

“Okay… I don’t…” she sputtered, trying to gather her thoughts into a cohesive response, too many questions crowding her mind. He could feel her confusion, her curiosity.

“Why?” she finally managed.

“Why is it forbidden or why did I do it?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said and if this were any other situation he would have laughed.

“I’d seen you, a few times. We’ve been trying to infiltrate your group for years. You fought with a ferocity that astounded me, every time. You fought harder than any of my men and I wondered what it felt like to have that level of conviction. To believe in something so much that you would die for it. No one forced you to be there, you did it because you wanted to. You rained down hellfire on every battlefield, and for some reason I couldn’t stand to see that light extinguished,” he admitted, running his hand through his hair, his nervous habit that he had never been able to kick.

She said nothing, but he could sense the turmoil within her, especially at the reminder of what would have been certain death, if he had not intervened.

“As for the other, it’s a means of control. The council of Elders train us carefully, enforce a code of covenants that we have to follow or what was given will be taken away. Loyalty is the top demand,” he said, feeling her interest pique at the mention of the Elders.

Her honeyed eyes were wide, barely blinking, she was focused so hard. He felt a prick of pride, the fact that she was completely ignoring her hunger and her own tumultuous feelings to absorb all the information she could. Pesky little spy, even now.

“They had trouble in the past, when regular members of the colony turned mortals. They didn’t fall into line, their fledglings answering only to their sires, sires attacking when their fledglings were reprimanded. It caused a lot of unrest and bloodshed, and so it was outlawed. And lastly, occurring rarely but very dangerous: when turning a fledgling the exchange of blood required can institute a blood-bond…” he tapered off, not sure how to break the news or explain a phenomenon that he himself didn’t understand or want.

“Wait… Are you saying that we, that you…?” she asked, too horrified to finish the sentence.

“You know the answer to that. Why do you think you were drawn to me earlier? Despite all your military training, despite being in unfamiliar surroundings, you walked straight to me without a second thought and opened that door, knowing what lay beyond was inappropriate,” he said, cocking a brow in challenge.

Her cheeks flamed pink, those eyes blazing again, the way they did before she jumped into a fight. Her hands now just small fists on her lap, the skin around her knuckles white.

“This sounds like the biggest pile of,” she started but Kylo cut her off before she could finish. “Close your eyes,” he said.

“Crap!” she finished, “And no, I will do no such thing,” she said.

“Close your damn eyes. _God_ , you’re insufferable,” he said, his patience wearing thin. She had to believe him. She had to realize the severity of their situation or they would never stand a chance.

She rolled her eyes before acquiescing, with obvious disdain.

“Search your feelings and tell me what you feel,” he said.

She scoffed and he fought the urge to snarl. This girl was making it far harder than it had to be.

“ _Just do it_ ,” he growled through his teeth.

He felt her focus inward, saw her posture relax, just a fraction, but enough to let him know that he set her on edge. Her face puckered with concentration.

“Turmoil, anger, resentment, regret, hunger,” she said finally.

“Good, now reach deeper, and you’ll feel something else, something foreign,” he urged.

She huffed out a breath, rolling her shoulders back, trying to displace some of her tension before diving back in. It was overwhelming. Every emotion was heightened, overpowering. Feeling every one was exhausting.

He focused on his own feelings, on what he wanted to project, wanted her to feel.

She leaned into it, his shirt pulling taut against her body with the movement, the fabric catching, straining. He caught a whiff of her skin, soft notes of feminine musk.

_Focus, damn it!_

“I feel something… but it’s hard to make out. Curiosity, maybe? Frustration, definitely. _Hunger_ … No, that doesn’t seem completely right. Desire?” she asked confused, opening her eyes, meeting his gaze with alarm.

He cleared his throat, getting up from the chair, trying to put some distance between them, trying to ignore the scent of her skin, mingling with his own through the borrowed clothes.

“ _Shit_ ,” she muttered, leaning back onto her hands, the wind knocked from her sails.

“I can _feel_ you? Or your feelings rather, strong and almost like muffled thoughts,” she said, her voice incredulous.

“We will need to train. Your skills are impressive, but I can help you hone them to survive if they end up finding you. I will not go down without a fight, I will protect you, as is my duty as sire. I will try my best not to fall, but if I do you will feel it, keenly. And I will have failed, and resigned you to death as well,” he said, his voice grave, the thought serving as an icy shock to his system, banishing his impure thoughts.

She thought on it for a moment, her mind skipping too fast for him to keep up, but her emotions settled on acceptance.

“Okay. I will train with you, but you better survive so we can figure out a way to be unbound,” she said.

Internally he rebelled against the idea, the proprietary feelings stronger than he had ever anticipated.

“Very well,” he said.

“Promise me,” she urged, her voice low and serious, reaching out her hand.

He glanced at that slender hand, the trim fingernails, the soft grooves in her palm, extended in an unspoken vow.

He reached out his own hand, his rough-hewn palm almost swallowing her entire hand, heat shooting up straight to his core at the contact.

No one had touched him in years.

Not like this.

He had sparred, fought, his knuckles taking and giving punishment. But this palm, the softness, his nerve-endings electrified… astounded at how such a simple touch was almost enough to bring him to his knees.

“I promise,” he said, his voice coarse, loathe to let go, depleted by the knowledge that this one touch would never be enough and yet was all he would ever get.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey start training and danger comes knocking far sooner than either of them anticipated.

6

She wanted out. She’d never wanted to run further or faster. The confusion that roiled through her just increased her anxiety, made the space in his bedroom close in around her faster. The touch of his skin against hers repulsed and intrigued her and she cursed the bloodbond that he had told her about.

How could she have such conflicting feelings for her enemy, for the creature that turned her against her will and made it so that she could never return to those she considered her family ever again?

She’d gotten him to swear that he would find a way to release them, and he agreed, despite strong feelings against it, he agreed. She felt them rise within him, flicking through them quickly so that she couldn’t focus on a particular one, but it was plain that he didn’t appreciate her request.

He’d mentioned training, told her that their lives were in danger. And she hated the fact that her life was in twice as much peril, for him having turned her and for the fact that if he died, she would as well. All the more reason to sever this bond as soon as possible.

“What does training entail?” she asked, trying to break the silence that had followed their handshake, a grip that seemed to linger on her skin even though they now stood across the room from each other.

“Kill points, avoiding capture, fighting off a larger attacker, basically anything I can teach you in a short time to help you survive. One advantage you have is that if you encounter anyone you’ll probably have fed sooner than they have, so you’ll be quicker, more alert,” he said, and she was once again acutely aware of the curl of hunger in her belly.

How could he say she had fed sooner if she was still hungry? Would she ever feel satisfied?

Something else niggled at the edge of her consciousness, a hunger that was not her own, hollower than hers, but she pushed him away, pushed his shadow from her mind.

“Right, let’s get to it,” she said, sinking into a defensive stance, her fists rising to protect her face.

Those full lips quirked into a half smile, turning his face somehow more threatening than before. He had a feral quality to his eyes, as if the sight of her readiness set him on edge.

“Not in here, I don’t need to have all my things broken,” he said.

All his things? Save for the desk the room was bare but for the bed, either she was missing something or he had a weird sense of humor.

He gestured for her to follow him, and she did, down that same hall, toward the bathroom and kitchen, but this time they turned toward a shut door. Pushing the door open and flicking on a light she saw a smallish room, lightly padded floor, weights stacked up against one wall. A very rudimentary gym, much like his bedroom, he seemed like the minimalist type.

He shut the door behind her, the click of the lock setting her nerves on edge.

Just what did he have planned?

She backed away, trying to put as much space between them as she could, her fists bound tight, her knuckles screaming with the strain. But he made no move toward her where she stood in the center of the room.

Their outfits similar, their bare feet padding softly against the mat.

He just assessed her, stalking around the room languidly, like a predator deciding where to strike first, patient and assured of success.

“You’re scared and I haven’t even made a move yet, you don’t think you’ll be able to fight me off… you want to run,” he said.

“Get out of my head,” she grit out between her teeth.

“I don’t need to be in your head to know that, you wear it like a shroud. Your temples and underarms already show signs of perspiration, your breathing is shallower than usual. Your stance is forward, the weight in your toes, ready to spring forward at the first opportunity you get. Your hands are in fists, but you raise them defensively, taking away any element of surprise. Whoever fights you will know your whole game plan,” he said, continuing to circle her slowly.

“Well what would you have me do?” she said, frustration starting to leak through the fear and nerves.

“Be alert, watch me, check your surroundings. You need to be better at taking it all in so that you can react with more intention beyond just one strike, you need to think ahead. You cannot fight them off the way you did my starved troops in the desert. You cannot just move through it hit-by-hit,” he said.

She tried. She tried to understand what his laps of the room meant, how the bare room would serve her in any way, but she drew a blank.

“It worked well enough, didn’t it? If your men fought like that then I’m sure the others will react similarly here,” she said, arrogance and frustration seeping into her voice. She wasn’t green. She had fought her own battles, fought his kind for years.

He surged forward, his large hands gripping the tops of her arms, launching her across the room, her back against the wall within the space of a breath. His grip was hard but not punishing, just tight enough that she could struggle without escaping.

“There is not time for hubris. Your life depends on it,” he growled down into her face, his voice barely a whisper, but the urgency in it had her slow her struggle.

It seemed to appease him and he released her, stepping back.

“You lost your first advantage, I took the element of surprise from you, I struck first. Do not let that happen again,” he said, stepping back and allowing her back into the center of the room.

“Do not wait for me to attack you, do not give me that luxury. Try again,” he said, staring up his walk again.

She gave him two paces before she surged forward, trying to tackle him down, he sidestepped it easily, leaving her stumbling back to her feet.

“Do not initiate your attack with a battle cry, no matter how small” he said, rolling his eyes at her. “And do not try to take down a larger opponent with brute strength that you do not have,” he finished.

She thought about it for a moment, surveyed him from top to bottom. He was tall, so damn tall, and built like a fucking refrigerator, he would have stumbled at her attack but she would not have been able to ground him like that. He was right, and she hated it.

She feinted up, her fist teasing a jab that did not come to blow, he lifted his arm to block and she struck below, in his armpit, her hand flat in a blade strike.

His breath huffed out with a small grunt, and she knew she had missed the trigger point she had been aiming for but at least she had struck the first blow.

He did not hold back though, now that she had initiated the fight, he came toward her, his hands digging in to the top of her shoulders, keeping her in place.

Merely playing defense.

It pissed her off. She could take him, and she hated that he didn’t even try and fight her. She knew once the adrenalin started pumping nothing could stop her. But he wouldn’t engage her like that, wouldn’t get a fight started in earnest, so she couldn’t trigger the response.

His reach was so much longer than hers, keeping her at arm’s length, too far for her to strike his face or throat, so she struck out the only way she knew how, trying to kick him, but the moment she lifted her leg he swept her down onto the ground.

Half of his body keeping her pinned. Rolling off of her he pushed himself to his knees.

He stood up, holding out a hand for her to take, pulling her to her feet with ease.

“Try again,” he said, unfazed.

She didn’t waste time, didn’t even try to strike him before she went for the takedown. She feinted another jab, his hand coming up to block it and she dove for his shin, her shoulder making impact, his heavy body hitting the floor with a thud.

He was quick to recover, grabbing her leg and trying to lock it in place, but she had anticipated that and she struck out before he could get hold of it, her foot making contact with his face.

The impact sent his head back, bouncing off of the mat. She turned to straddle him, the ball in her court now, her hands wrapped around his throat. But his hand gripped hers at the wrist, the other wrapping around her tricep, his beefy hands encircling her, his legs bent and his hips twisting so that he flipped her onto her back.

Now she was the one at his mercy. He was within her guard and she couldn’t counter with the move he had just pulled, her legs splayed wide on either side of his, not together like his were.

She tried to push him off of her, tried to wriggle her knee in between them, but his stomach was pressed to hers.

She had made a mistake.

His hands were hard on her shoulders, pushing her into the mat, not trying for her neck the way she had with him. Again, he was just defending, not attacking, not trying to go in for the kill. And it made her angry.

He wasn’t fighting fair.

And so, she wouldn’t either.

She kept struggling, to distract him, knowing that she tried in vain, but not wanting him to realize what she was doing.

She focused inward, staring up at his dark eyes, flecked with misty forest green and sunshine on the deep earthy brown. His pupils dilated slightly, his chest swallowing deeper breaths than he needed, more than the physical exertion required.

She felt him there at the edges, the smoky curl of him in her consciousness. And for the first time she tried to delve deep.

His hunger was overwhelming, and she wondered whether he had eaten when she had, or if he intended to feed later, but it was so distracting she almost pulled out. Nevertheless, she persisted.

He was frustrated, clearly not believing she would make it out of his hold.

She felt the metallic sharpness of fear as well, fear for both of them but mainly fear for her, something that she did not know how to deal with.

And then buried furthest, but perhaps the most useful and dangerous, the feeling she had touched upon earlier when he had retreated so quickly: desire.

His body was affected by hers, by his position over her, his hard frame pressed against the softest parts of her. She could feel the warmth that spread through him, how hard he was fighting to remain impartial, to train her properly. She commended him for it, in a way, but he had told her to assess him and the situation.

She knew what she had to do.

She stopped struggling, her hands cupping his wrists, her thumb tracing up just once, just enough to confuse him and have him try and shift his attention.

He frowned but didn’t let up, the weight of him oppressive and impossible to budge. Instead he shifted his grip just long enough to grab each of her hands, lifting them above her head, her fists fitting inside of his, even less leeway than before.

The movement stretched his torso even further along hers, his face closer to hers, his breath soft against her face, the tempo increasing. Watching the bobble at his neck as he swallowed hard. She was unnerving him. _Good_.

His feelings reflected it. The hunger being pushed aside, confusion and determination rising to fill its place, the desire barely tampered down. Even though she was technically powerless, it was he who struggled for control.

She wrapped her legs around him, her ankles unable to lock around the thickness of his thighs, but she used the strength in her own to close the gap between her legs. He was pressed flush against her, his heart pounding, the muscle at his jaw jumping with tension as he clenched and ground his teeth together.

Going in for the kill, she rolled her hips against him, slowly. The sweet, soft drag of fabric causing just enough friction to distract him. She felt it shoot through him like a bolt of lightning, his hands tightening around hers, felt him thickening between her legs almost instantly.

She was the one swallowing hard this time, she had taken her shot and it was working, but she hadn’t been prepared for a response of this level. She had only wanted to distract him, never had it occurred to her that he would respond in earnest at the slightest provocation.

He leaned forward, his eyes dark, pupils blown, thick lips parted slightly and harsh puffs of air dancing across her neck.

The warm breaths against her neck made her want to squirm and so she undulated against him once more in desperation, she had to make her move now or she would lose her advantage.

The movement caused him to groan softly, white teeth biting down onto his lower lip to contain it before it escaped, a futile attempt.

She was losing it. She had to get out now.

He closed his eyes for the slightest moment, trying to collect himself and she shoved as much force as she could, her head surging forward, her forehead colliding with his nose. The headbutt proving successful. He rocked backwards, one of his hands flying up to cup his nose, black blood starting to drip between his fingers.

She used his imbalance to shove her knee between them, prying her captive hand free. Gripping his arm, she used her leverage to tilt her pelvis, press her foot against his hip and flip herself slightly, his arm locked between her legs. She pulled taut, ready to break his elbow.

“Okay, for the love of god, just let go!” he snarled, anger at the forefront of every other emotion.

Somehow, she had never feared him as much as she did in this moment, even when she had the power to seriously injure him, the anger in his voice gave her pause and made her nervous.

Legs relaxing, she wriggled her way out from their tangle, poised back on her feet and ready to strike.

He remained on the mat, his legs underneath him, a heel sit, as if getting ready to meditate, but his face looked anything but peaceful.

The bleeding seemed to have slowed, but between her previous blow and this one, she had broken his nose. He pinched the bridge between his fingers and set it back into place, the sickening crunch made even worse because he did not look away from her. As if wanting to confront her with what she had done to him.

She flinched and looked away, hugging her arms to herself, feeling ashamed for resorting to dirty tricks to win.

“Don’t, you did the right thing,” his voice surprised her. “Don’t look away guilty. You fought your way out,” he said.

He pushed himself up from the ground, standing in front of her, blood streaked down the front of his shirt.

“I’m sorry about your nose,” she said, the statement sounding feeble and inane.

“I’m sorry about the bruises,” he said, reaching out to pull the neck of the shirt up where it had fallen off of her shoulder, pink lines marring the freckled skin. He sounded genuine; his expression troubled as he covered them back up.

She shrugged, it wasn’t even close to the worst she had endured, even during sparring sessions. But something about the way it bothered him, the way she could still feel his hands on her skin made her want to leave, get away, get space.

Her mind was cloudy around him somehow.

He used the shirt to wipe his nose of the remaining blood, wincing slightly as he got rid of most of it. Dark bruises winged the bridge of his nose, blooming under his eyes, already some yellowing around the edges. He was healing fast, but the damage was still extensive.

The click of the door being unlocked was earsplitting, the sound snapping her from her thoughts. His broad back retreated down the hall and she followed behind, not sure what to do now.

Questions swirled around her mind, none breaking the barrier of her lips. She didn’t know how to put any of them into the right words. Didn’t know how she felt about what had just happened in that room.

The sun had set, nothing but black outside the window.

He wiped the dried blood from his face and neck with a wet wipe, taking care not to miss any of it. His eyes met hers and he raised an eyebrow at her approach.

Her lips parted to speak and his eyes widened in alarm.

“Shhh,” he implored, quietly, his finger raised to his lips as if to drive the point home.

She was about to ask him why but stopped short when he pulled the bloody shirt from his body and pulled it over her head, shoving the wet wipes tinged with blood into her hands.

“Get under the bed, _now!”_ he whispered, his tone urgent.

She wasn’t even trying and she could feel his fear pulsing toward her. There was no argument, she gripped the wipes in her fist and dropped to the ground, worming her way under the bed, trying to get as close as she could to the wall. His comforter draped low over the side of the bed, barely a sliver of light visible above the floor.

The whoosh of the window being opened startled her, the fresh air flooding the room, ambient sounds from the outside world filtering in. Crickets and other small animal noises, the rush of the wind through the leaves. It should have been relaxing, but through the bond she could feel that he did it only to try and mask her, to mask her smell.

He had covered her with his own blood and tried to rid the room of the traces of her scent.

Her body closed in on itself, trying to make herself as small as possible.

She heard footsteps coming down the hall, the loud click of shoes, clipped. Not Kylo. He lurked, his steps quiet and indolent. These feet were hurried, angry, not caring about how loud they stepped.

The bed bowed slightly with Kylo’s weight as he laid down, one big leg hanging over the side, his foot touching the ground near her head.

She heard the flutter of a page turning and realized he must have a book.

The clipping sound grew until finally it stopped, Kylo made no move, did not acknowledge it.

“Ren,” came a voice that matched the walk, short vowel, the name almost spat out, unsavory.

“Hello, Hux,” Kylo greeted, flicking another page between his fingers.

“ _General_ Hux,” he corrected, “hiding behind a book, are we?” he taunted.

She heard the thud of the book closing and the soft shuffle of it being set down on the bed.

“What do you want?” Kylo asked, struggling to keep the annoyance from his voice.

“Hmm, so you were injured after all, it must have been bad, if you’re still healing from it. You look a bit worse for wear, Ren,” he said.

“I would have healed quicker if not for the swill that you all are passing off as blood these days, not to mention the paltry amount,” he complained.

“You know perfectly well that your ration should be enough for one person to live off of,” Hux said, as if to admonish Kylo for even mentioning it.

“One bag a day is not enough to live off of and you know it, let alone to get through a healing,” Kylo said.

One bag? She had a full bag earlier today. _Had he given her his ration for the day?_

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do, but it will not be of the superior quality that you’ve grown accustomed to for your rationed portions,” Hux said, his breath huffing out in what Rey assumed was exasperation.

“Thank you, _General_ ,” Kylo responded, the formality of the title doing nothing to hide the undercurrent of sarcasm. “So, why are you here?” he said.

“We convene with the Elders in two days, once they have all arrived at the compound. There is much to discuss. Your recent failure among the topics, of course. I wanted to be sure that you would be in attendance and that your recent _mismanagement_ would not serve as an excuse for your absence,” Hux said.

“I will be there, on time. Don’t bother sending an escort unless you want to explain how your ‘superior quality blood’ weakened my men and led to their demise. Your formula is off, don’t make me bring it into question in front of the Elders. Fix it now, or I will not take the blame for their deaths, I will lay it where it belongs: with you,” he said.

She heard Hux scoff, an incredulous chuckle at the edge of his voice.

“Of course you resort to threats, I would expect nothing less from you. Rest assured, I have no intention of wasting resources to babysit you, and we are working on it as we speak,” Hux said.

“Good, then we have a deal, I will see you in two days at the compound,” Kylo said.

Hux did not bother to verbally respond, his heels eating up the distance between the bedroom door and what lay beyond. Kylo’s fear still permeating the room, leaving Rey marveling at the lengths he’d gone to conceal her in such a short amount of time, the food he had relinquished to her.

Just what was he up to? Why would he bother? It made no sense, she knew what he was. So why?

“You can come out now, he’s gone,” Kylo said, his voice relieved.

Rey crawled out from under the bed. He was sitting on the edge, his head held in his hands, obscuring his face.

“It’s only going to get worse, isn’t it?” she asked.

He wiped his hands over his face, trying to get rid of some of the tension.

“Yes. I leave here in two days to go to the main compound, and I cannot take you with me, and I cannot protect you if I’m not here,” he said, frustrated at the impossible situation.

“Who was that?” she asked, referring to Hux.

“He’s a general in the training program, his father is one of the Elders,” Kylo said.

“Hmmm, he thinks highly of himself, and not so highly of you,” Rey remarked.

Kylo coughed out a humorless laugh, rolling his eyes at the thought of it.

“That pretty much sums it up. But enough about him, you and I both need to hit the showers and hunker down for the night, I need rest to heal from our sparring session,” he said and her eyes were drawn to those bruises on his face again.

“I’m sorry about that,” she apologized again and he just waved her off.

He stood to get her clean clothes, holding out the folded bundle for her to take.

“You shower first, since I got you full of blood. And then you can take the bed when you get back. I’ll set something up on the floor for myself,” he said.

She took the soft fabric from him, their hands brushing with the transfer, confusion growing within her once again.

For someone so reprehensible he was going out of his way to help her and see to her comfort.

“Kylo?” she asked, and he was surprised by her use of the name.

“Yes?” he said.

“You can take the next ration of blood,” she said, not bothering to stick around for his response, heading toward the shower to wash him from her body… and her mind.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

He took the time during Rey’s absence to compose himself, the depth of his fear only hitting him once the danger had passed. Hux had shown up unannounced and Kylo had been so preoccupied with repressing his emotions that the realization almost came too late.

She could have died. She could still, another mistake like that would be all it took. They had been lucky.

Hux did not have the heft or bulk that Kylo did, but he had more experience and a cold, clinical approach to killing. It was best that it hadn’t devolved into a fight, or further suspicion. Kylo had tried to distract him, the threat he promised a definite concern for Hux, and not far from the truth. The blood they undercut with additives and plasma had consistently left them weaker.

 _Blood_ … hunger gnawed at his insides, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten today and wouldn’t be able to until tomorrow when the next feed became available, unless Hux made good and sent over a subpar supply.

Rey offered it to him, sincerely, and he knew how big of a sacrifice that was especially for a fledgling vampire.

She confused him, stoking feelings he had thought were long dead. He did not appreciate the fact that he now worried about her wellbeing and safety… and to a degree her happiness.

Larger forces were at play, the life he lived had no room for this kind of trouble. He had severed himself from the mortals, and tried to cast aside the humanity that went with them. Their world had nothing to offer him.

 _Apparently not nothing_. The mocking thought left an uncomfortable feeling in his chest.

Her stricken face when she realized her situation came to his mind. He had chosen this life, but she hadn’t had an opportunity.

She emerged from the shower, hair damp and bundled up into a towel, her frame dwarfed by his clothes. Her mind was carefully shrouded, all her energy seeming to go toward keeping her thoughts bland.

He left the room, his comms gripped in his fist, the restless feeling from earlier no less sharp. If anything, the more he saw her the less he felt at ease. His muscles ached under the strain of staying still, he wanted to run or fight, primed for action and desperate for distraction.

Instead of a shower he headed for the gym, the skin around his knuckles so taut it felt like it would rip at any moment. A part of him hoped that it would, that the physical pain would distract him, appease him. The lights flicked on, dim but doable, the bright fluorescents he preferred were not an option because of the UV light they emitted.

He tossed the comms onto the floor, the plastic landing with a soft thud on the practice mat. The boxing bag in the corner, bolted to the floor, seemed an unworthy opponent but his only option to quiet the unrest within. The blows landed hard, the smack of his skin against the leather harsh in the otherwise quiet room.

It started out rhythmic: a deep breath followed by a slap and a rushed exhalation. He reached desperately to numb his mind but with each racing thought only his anger grew.

He saw her face in his thoughts, flushed from the hot water, a droplet that escaped the towel trailing down the side of her neck. Her lips parted and the soft, surprised inhalation she took when she saw him in the room sent him back to their training earlier, to the way her breath had become shallow and rushed when he had her pinned.

She was such a contradiction, her body soft and yielding beneath him, then hard as she trapped him in the hold. She hated him, hated what he did to her but he had sensed something else from her too. When exploiting his weakness, she revealed the same in herself. She’d been shocked by it, but it was there. He felt it.

He felt his own desire flare, the force of it unexpected. No one had ever affected him in this way. Ambition had driven him these past years, focused on carving out a new life for himself, single-minded in his pursuit of power… and escape.

Now, she had ruined all that. If he wasn’t careful, she would ruin him as well.

His assault increased in its frenzy, sweat collecting and dripping from his body, his hair wild from the exertion. The bag started to protest against the onslaught, leather cracking, the panel that bolted it to the floor to warping under the pressure.

The door creaking behind him hit him like a bucket of ice water, his body poised in defense before he even knew what he was preparing to fight.

She stood in the doorway, hair spilling over her shoulders now, almost dry. Her mouth parted as she gasped at the sight of him and he could only imagine what she saw.

His skin glistened with a sheen of perspiration, his chest heaving, fists raised and blood trickled in rills down his knuckles and forearms.

His emotions were still too raw, too close to the surface, he couldn’t keep the ire from his voice when he spoke.

“What do you want?” he managed from his clenched teeth.

“I… I couldn’t sleep, you were too loud,” she finished, her hand falling from the doorknob to her side.

“Well, it’s not like I turned on music, there’s not much I can do about the sound of the punching bag,” Kylo said.

Her face flushed at his response, her hand rubbing the back of her neck as if it caused her discomfort.

“No. I don’t mean in that way. Your, uhm,” she gestured to him with a sweeping motion, not much help. “the bond. So, I couldn’t sleep,” Rey said, her voice quiet by the end, as if she wasn’t sure how he would take what she had just said.

He hadn’t considered what the barrage of thoughts and feelings must have felt like to her, as caught up as he was. Turning his attention to her side of the bond he secured the scream of his own inner turmoil and focused on the thread that connected them.

He felt her discomfort, her tiredness, but under that her mind held an edge. She was fighting herself for some reason.

“What are you fighting against?” he asked. Not bothering to soften the blow or pretend he hadn’t pried.

“You… get out of my head!” Rey burst out, anger rising with embarrassment.

“You can’t hide it from me. Don’t be afraid, I feel it too,” Kylo admitted, eager to gage her reaction, fascinated by the way her eyes flashed with fury and her chest rose with a deep breath, ready to unleash on him.

“Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do,” Rey responded, trying in vain to put the barriers back in place.

“You know I can take anything I want. The bond solidifies more with each passing hour. You can’t hide, Rey. Not from me,” Kylo said, the thrill of challenging her causing something deep within him to curl up, like a wisp of smoke.

She rose to the challenge, stepping into the room and approaching him before she had a chance to think about. Standing before him, her face twisted into a sneer, her disgust was plain.

“Get out of my head!” she shouted up at him.

“Seems you were in mine first, that’s why you came in here, isn’t it?” Kylo retorted, “little hypocrite,” he whispered, leaning in toward her, closing the distance between them.

“Tell me what you saw, tell me what bothered you so much you came in here not knowing what you’d find and shouted in the face of a crazed man,” his hands wrapped around her biceps, invading her space.

She did not shrink under his gaze, or the questions he spat out at her like accusations.

“You’re running away from something, someone you used to be. You’re afraid, _Kylo Ren,_ ” she said simply, knowing the lie in the name without having to be told.

He laughed without mirth, her skin scalding where he touched it, branding him. The nerve endings in his hands felt almost electric, she must have felt some of it because her skin puckered with goosebumps.

He could sense her anger, her nervousness. And growing, rising from deep within her he felt the same pull that gnawed at his insides even now. She would be the death of him. In more ways than one.

“You’re the one trembling, Rey,” he said, his thumb stroking once down her arm, feeling her body react to him, her emotions laid bare. The experience was sharp and somehow sweet.

His hands felt her shiver, through the bond the flutter at her core echoed what he felt. Kylo sent the message through the bond, trying to see how clearly the channel ran.

_I’m not going to hurt you, Rey._

Her eyes widened, message evidently received.

Rey’s lips parted, ready to respond until she seemed to think better of it. He felt her try to focus her concentration, both of them swirling in the headiness of the bond.

_What do you want from me?_

Had he not been staring at her mouth he would have sworn that she had spoken.

 _Nothing. Everything. I don’t know._ He answered, truthfully. Kylo was out of his depth, close to the edge of something he never saw coming.

Her mind seemed to wander back to what he had said earlier, about him taking what he wanted, and in her thoughts he heard the question of whether that included her.

Silly girl. She must have known what she stirred in him, should have been able to hear it roaring within, so fierce and unexpected that it scared even him. On her end of the bond he could feel the curiosity, a slight smugness at realizing she held the power here, despite him looming over her. No matter how tight his grip on her, one word down the bond, one yes, would send him to his knees.

He leaned in slowly, giving her plenty of time to react, to answer the unspoken question. She lifted her chin, eyes drifting shut as they sank closer to each other.

Her breath was cool against his cheek, his elevated hearing picking up the hike in her heartrate. Through it all he struggled against what he wanted, so desperately to give into, and what was wise.

His comms beeped from the mat behind her, lighting up, the vibration loud and intrusive. The lure that had wrapped itself around them both was sapped away in a moment, as soon as the reminder of what the comms meant sunk in: danger.

Kylo let got of her, reluctant, and retrieved the damned device.

**The Supreme Leader wants to see you, NOW.**

**New developments with the humans have**

**expedited the need for the meeting. Full counsel**

**convenes in the morning. He wants a briefing**

**before that happens. Bag of blood waiting at**

**your door to see to your horrendous appearance.**

**Clean yourself up and get to the compound,**

**immediately – General Armitage Hux**

“What is it?” she asked, he knew she could sense his unease.

“I need to go to the compound, tonight. Something has changed and I don’t think it’s good news for me. Hux left a package for me and I have to depart as soon as I’ve cleaned myself up,” Kylo said, already moving restlessly toward the hall to take a shower.

“What… what do I do?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He didn’t know how safe she would be without him here; couldn’t predict how soon he would be back. His blood supply was only enough for a few days at best and they wouldn’t send over a new supply if he wasn’t there. Could he trust her to ration herself the way he had become accustomed to?  
Would they even send him another supply if he shouldn’t have reached his ration while at the compound? The logistics of this were making his head swim. All they could do was survive for now. One day at a time. He would worry about replenishing his supply when he got back.

“The fridge will beep when the next ration of blood is available. I don’t know when I will be back, so it will be up to you to ration yourself to one bag a day. If you run out and I’m not back yet they won’t send any more here. As it is, I don’t know if they’ll replenish what you will feed on while I’m away. We’ll worry about that later,” he said, his mind focused on the counsel and the compound and the uncertainty of it all.

“So, I wait for you to come back. I make sure I don’t eat too much…” she finished, the statement phrased almost more like a question.

“You can train in here while you wait, there’s not much to do besides work, usually I’m not here long enough to notice. Just do not go outside. I’ve been awarded a modicum of privacy for my service to the coalition, but I am by no means free. If they catch you outside, we’ll both be killed. Keep the windows shut, doors locked and the curtains drawn. If anyone does come by, do what we did earlier and cover yourself in my old clothes and hide under the bed,” he said.

He saw her grimace at the idea and he didn’t blame her.

“I know, it’s gross. But, it’s the only way to potentially mask your scent. I burnt your old clothes so they shouldn’t be able to pick up any of your mortal smell. You can do this, Rey. I will be back as soon as I can,” Kylo tried to reassure her, but he didn’t want to make promises he couldn’t keep.

“Kylo,” she started, and the sound of his name on her lips did something strange to his chest, “please be careful,” Rey finished and he didn’t know what to do with the mixture of apprehension and concern that filtered its way up from her through the bond.

“You too, best get to bed. It’ll pass the time faster,” he said, hurrying from the room and toward uncertain doom.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Rey listened to him rushing, the whisper of him in moving the apartment. She shook out the coverlet, trying to dislodge some of the dust she had deposited earlier. Forcing herself to get ready for bed, despite not feeling tired at all.

She tucked herself into his bed, the covers up to her chin. He moved quietly for someone so large, but her new increased abilities allowed her to pick up on small sounds. He’d hurried through his shower, and she heard the rustle of him donning the black suit he had grabbed from the closet on the way out.

It hadn’t even been a full day here, as a vampire, and Rey felt completely different. Her perception of him was cloudy. She had shifted from immediate hatred to something far murkier as the day progressed.

He showed her kindness, but she caught a glimpse of the feral in his eyes. Kylo came across as contained, until he wasn’t… cruel and mocking, until he wasn’t.

She hated the thought of being a vampire, fought against it for years with the Sentinels, to the death. Now, she was what she had so long despised and it wasn’t as bad as she’d thought. The increased strength and improved senses were miraculous. Rey could focus in on something as small as a speck of dust, or a heartbeat in the other room.

The hunger was the main downside, as overwhelming as it seemed when she focused on it, but when her attention was diverted it was almost bearable. In some ways it helped to be under so much stress, she felt less inclined to hunger when her life was on the line.

Despite being undead, her survival instinct was still very much intact.

She heard the click of a door shutting, the twist of the lock sliding into place. He was leaving her, and neither of them knew for how long. There was no way to communicate with him reliably. They hadn’t had time to test the bond over a distance, it seemed now would prove if it held.

It felt intrusive to have someone be able to read her innermost feelings and thoughts, but at the same time it gave her a sense of security she had never felt before. All her years alone, orphaned, searching for a family… she eventually found it but had never been able to shake the feeling she grew up with: loneliness.

The one saving grace of this godforsaken bond was that it was almost impossible to feel that way anymore. Time would tell if that was good or not, but for now she was thankful that it was there.

The apartment felt even more foreign in the dark, none of the night sounds were what she had grown accustomed to, it was so quiet. The barracks back home were filled with the noise of people coming and going: Finn snoring in the next room, and Poe sleep-talking.

Leia would be up at all hours, strategizing, the scent of strong coffee clinging to her like a shroud. The mother-figure she had never had.

A twinge of regret and pain shot through her, she couldn’t go back, not now. Her hard-won place in their group, her sense of home had been taken from her. In a way death would have been preferable, at least she wouldn’t have to miss them all.

She thought of Kylo, of the feeling she’d picked up when she delved into his side of the bond: the fear and loneliness that seemed to cover him, the aura of it almost as tangible as the clothes on his skin.

Rey had spent her whole life searching for a family, running toward it with a desperation she felt ashamed of. Kylo ran away, the distance between him and his past a chasm she couldn’t cross in his thoughts. He was far better at hiding them.

His emotions were a different story.

Her cheeks pinkened, the heat rising to the surface of her skin at the memory. Feral indeed.

Her experience with the baser needs of a mortal existence had taken a backseat to the stress of the worldwide pandemic that was vampirism. Running for her life the majority of the time did not lend itself to personal relationships.

He seemed as confused by her and his feelings for her as she did. She sensed genuine concern for her and yet he seemed annoyed that he cared in the first place. Rey hadn’t asked for any of this, had no idea why he chose her. Kylo claimed to be entranced by her ferocity in battle, her survival instinct, but she sensed there was more to it.

He said the bond was the cause of the transition, but she wondered if he was misinformed. If he had been drawn to her before he turned her could he really blame it all on the bond?

The thoughts continued to race through her mind, trying to distract from the fact that she sensed him getting further and further away. His craft flitted through the air, slicing through it, toward this compound he had mentioned.

The more she heard, the more it sounded like a cult. People got turned and trained and were forced to stay in servitude for years… possibly decades. Their food was rationed, their movements controlled. She wondered how long Kylo had been part of this so called “Coalition” and whether he was there by choice or demand.

A traitorous thought reared its head, reminding her that she wasn’t there by choice, and with her captor gone she could attempt to escape. The bedroom window was shut, but unlocked, she could make her escape and try to find the Sentinels, pass along what she had learned.

 _But_ there was no guarantee that her escape would be successful, or that they would welcome her back in her current state. She needed more information, more leverage before she could try to return to her found-family.

Her mind wandered to the work their scientists had been slaving over before the most recent raid. Rey wasn’t as well versed in the medical aspect of what her faction was trying to achieve, but the fighters… herself included, had done everything in their power to wipe the lab, to protect their work. Her hope was that someday she could go back and those same scientists could test her and extract what they needed to gain the upper hand they so sorely needed.

Kylo Ren seemed agitated through the flickering bond, concerned about leaving her behind, worried about the sudden change in plans. It was difficult to pick up on any more than that. Through their connection she felt his discomfort, bloated with it, overfull on the subpar blood that had been left for him by Hux it seemed.

She’d heard of channels that allowed people to watch scripted entertainment aired on screens. With the rampant spread of vampirism and the zeal with which they dominated the world, those small pleasures were erased. As she watched Kylo arrive at the compound through the bond it reminded her of the stories she used to hear about these shows. She watched a whole other world unfurl that had been off-limits for so long through the conduit that was her sire.

The imagery was skewed, mostly obscured by Kylo’s thoughts and feelings, but in those thoughts, she caught glimpses behind enemy lines.

The compound was cold and barren, metal surrounded by rock and snow. The grand building looked like a fortress, heavily armed and secluded, hidden in the façade of a mountain.

Kylo shivered as the cold air sliced through his black suit and Rey felt his impatience and apprehension grow. He didn’t seem to realize she was watching him; he must have thought the bond couldn’t extend this far. If he had known maybe she wouldn’t be in his thoughts, he might have tried harder to hide that.

Rey tried her best to stay calm, not draw any attention to herself, keeping her emotions level.

He seemed to be practicing a multitude of speeches in his head, worried at the response his master would have to his troop’s failure at the Sentinel base. His thoughts skirted over her stuck back at his quarters, worried that she would be discovered, planning a speech in case they already knew of her existence. He considered who might be an ally and came up short. There were no friends in the Coalition, no personal loyalty except toward the Elders and the Supreme Leader.

It all seemed very exhausting to Rey. Diplomacy and tact were not very high up on her list of priorities. Kylo Ren, however, seemed to spend all his mental energy worrying over scenarios that had yet to occur and how to maneuver his way around them.

Lucky for him none of his superiors could read his mind, at least Rey hoped not. For both of their sakes.

The connection fizzled as he entered the massive gate into the compound, resolve the last thing she sensed from him before the thread between them seemed to snap back, like a rubber band overstretched.

Her body still felt keyed up from everything that had happened today, Kylo’s lingering anxiety had affected her as well. She couldn’t stand to lay in his bed and wait for another glimpse. He had recommended sleep to pass the time, but Rey was overtaken by curiosity about her sire, keeper, whatever the hell he was.

She drew the curtains shut before she flicked on his bedside lamp. As before she was struck by how plain the room looked at first glance, but she was determined to find the personal touches, the details that could provide insight into Kylo Ren.

On his desk she was drawn to the laptop first, a black and red symbol on the lid catching her eye: the red background striking with a hexagon overlay, inside it a circle with sharp edges pointing inward. In a way the symbol reminded her of staring down the barrel of a gun. She shook off the imagery and booted it up, surprised to find no password lock. Then again, what he said about surveillance and loyalty… she doubted the Coalition would take kindly to their soldiers keeping secrets or hiding information.

She browsed the device, checking for hidden files, anything that could provide insight. The majority of what she found looked like any other work laptop. No unread messages, his other folders empty. His correspondence only stretched back one week and pertained to mentions of meetings, movement of troops for training, coordinating troops for travel. The correspondence seemed very bland, bare-bones. They must have deleted messages after a certain period of time. Whether Kylo did it or it was done from a remote server was something she could not determine.

There seemed to be no way to navigate beyond the main database, no way to search anything of the outside world. He must not have formed part of the surveillance team, there was no mention in anything about mortals or the insurgent group that she’d formed part of.

It was fruitless and disappointing.

She turned her attention to the calligraphy set and the curled paper, unfurling it she was astonished by the beautiful penmanship. His handwriting was precise, opulent, most of it in a language she did not understand.

Sharp slashes marred the page where certain phrases had been struck. The layout seemed almost like a letter. Clearly the subject matter was sensitive. Carefully rolling the page back up, she placed it all back as she found it.

Rey rooted through his closet, not finding anything other than clothing and a small bottle of cologne that was barely touched. She risked a spritz and was strangely taken in by the scent: a mixture of leather and smoke, and a sweet sharp note that cut through it all.

The last place she thought to check was under the bed. She’d been shoved under there unceremoniously and hadn’t had time to look around in her panic. Far in the back corner was a small cardboard box, no bigger than a shoe box at best.

With trembling fingers, she lifted the lid.

She knew she was infringing on his privacy, overstepping her bounds, but she couldn’t stop herself. This man had inserted himself into her life, taken her from her family and now he clouded her mind.

Her fingertips brushed against the carved wooden hilt of a stake. Painstakingly done, an intricate design etched into the bottom. The symbol reminded her of the one the Sentinels brandished, but different somehow: a blade with a star emanating from the hilt, caught between sweeping wings on either side, contained within a circle.

Why would he keep this here? A weapon that would kill him in the wrong hands. What did the symbol mean?

She didn’t have time to ponder it, the bond sparking back to life suddenly, leaving her almost blind to her surroundings. Rey could see Kylo, kneeling before a figure on an austere throne. She assumed this was the Supreme Leader.

She couldn’t make out the words he was saying, the bond dragged down by the depth of Kylo’s fear, but somehow, she sensed that Kylo was being threatened. His body was tense, his hands balled into fists at his sides, the leather of his black gloves creaking under the strain.

He must have worn them to hide his injuries from this evening.

The room was encircled by guards dressed in red, almost blending in with the walls, the sight ominous, as if they could creep out at you without notice.

Kylo was pulled from his position on the floor, choked by an unseen force, legs dangling above the ground. The Supreme Leader’s outstretched hand led her to believe it was his doing.

She heard Kylo’s voice, struggling through the choke hold.

“I’m sorry, master… I failed you,” he managed and was promptly dropped back onto his knees.

His fear was justified then. Who was this pale, disfigured man, this puppeteer of terror? Why did he attack Kylo?

Rey struggled with her own feelings, a strange protectiveness and anger rising in her as she witnessed his mistreatment.

“You assured us that the girl was no longer alive, but her body was not recovered. What we did find were your twenty men, slaughtered and left to decompose in the sunlight, almost unrecognizable by the time the reconnaissance soldiers arrived. Explain to me then how you escaped, with minimal injury, and no hostages or new information!” The Supreme Leader’s voice rose, booming through the sparse room.

“I watched her fall. I do not understand. My team failed, I failed. We thought sure that we would find new information at their lab. They must have had scouts of their own for the base was all but abandoned when we arrived, a few of their soldiers fighting to keep us at bay. The girl was one of them, leading my men away from her base, the others escaping as she did. My attention had been focused on searching the area for movement to determine where the others had escaped to, with no luck. I arrived in time to watch her fall, after the damage had been done,” Kylo tried to explain.

Rey sensed the truth in his words, realizing he chose them carefully, and she wondered if the Supreme Leader could do more than just move things with his mind.

“Your excuses are paltry. This mission cost us a platoon of our finest soldiers and we have barely anything to show for it. Another abandoned base to add to our collection and no further leads on the insurgents that seek to end us all,” Supreme Leader said.

She sensed Kylo’s thought pattern and yearned to caution him against it.

“I do not understand why we seek them out. They are but the dying ember of a fire that will soon cease to exist. How can such a small insurgency pose a threat to a force such as ours?” Kylo said.

The Supreme Leader didn’t seem to take kindly to his line of questioning, his expression thunderous.

“You question my methods, Kylo Ren?” The phrase was quiet, menacing in its lack of emotion despite his enraged face.

Kylo shook his head, his mouth open to retort but a slender hand raised to stop him.

“It is not your business to question the methods of the Coalition. As the fist of my army it is your duty to carry out the tasks as I demand and lay waste to our enemies. Or have you so soon forgotten the lessons I imbued in you when you were recruited… when you asked to join us through your own free will?” The Supreme Leader said, “you were so eager, running from your past, hungry for the chance to seize control of your future. One where you did not come up lacking, living in the shadows of your parents,” He finished.

He rose, carefully stepping down from the throne toward Kylo, his cloak dragging behind him as he walked. His physicality reminded Rey of a praying mantis, spindly and ominous.

“So disappointing that you’ve failed to prove anyone wrong about you. Good for nothing, clearly. I find you _gravely_ lacking. How many more disappointments can you bear before you bow under the weight of your own inadequacy and uselessness?” His slender hand wrapped around Kylo’s throat, pulling him to his feet.

She felt the despair within Kylo, saw his thoughts jump to that box under the bed… and she wondered.

Was that his escape, the last resort?

He seemed so different here, with this man. Insecure and diminished, so different from the overpowering fighter she sparred with. His vitality sapped, leaving his cheeks pallid.

“You will observe the meeting, in silence, as we consider your role here at the Coalition. The freedoms we have awarded are contingent on your continued performance. The apartment, the flight craft… all of it belongs to us. Unless you want to go back to being fodder in the field army, I suggest you shape up and direct your forces toward our enemies. Have them find the insurgents, or you will have hell to pay,” He swished back around, toward the throne, dismissing Kylo without another word or glance.

He rose to his feet, his knees aching from their hard landing earlier, pain blooming across his kneecaps. It radiated out so much Rey swore she could feel it. He hurried from the room, head bowed, the muscle in his chin quivering as he fought to maintain his composure. The hiss of the hydraulic doors made him flinch.

 _Are you okay?_ Rey tried to convey through the bond, concentrating the way she had before in the training room, her energy focused on reaching him.

His eyes widened and he looked around, ensuring no one was there to witness their exchange.

The corridor was empty.

Anger welled within him, spiking down the bond, directed at her.

 _What are you doing inside my head?_ The though practically hissed at her.

 _It’s not like I did it on purpose. You must have been feeling strong emotions or something and I got sucked it again._ She tried to reason with him, wanted to offer him her support but it didn’t seem like that option appealed to him at all.

 _I don’t need your concern, or your help. I wouldn’t even be in this mess if it wasn’t for you. So why don’t you just get out and stay out!_ He blamed her for the meeting he just had.

She shivered to think what the response would be if they found her in his chambers, undead and bound to him. Considering how this had gone down she wagered it would end miserably, for both of them.

 _Sorry. I’ll try to go to sleep and leave you be._ She didn’t want to respond to his accusation, her apology borne more from guilt at witnessing his weakness than causing him trouble.

That had been his choice, after all. He took her, he turned her. She would not apologize for that.

He merely nodded, a curt almost imperceptible thing.

 _Get some ice on those kneecaps_. She said, not waiting for his response, concentrating hard to calm her thoughts and steer them away from him.

Her attention was drawn back to the box in her lap and the stake within. She placed the lid back on top, shoving the box as far under the bed as she could manage. Slipping back under the covers she forced her eyes shut, willing her body to give in to its need for sleep. And her need for an escape.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

She had seen him. Somewhere in the middle of that mess of a meeting with Snoke the bond had decided to function again. He didn’t want to deal with it, their predicament, while he was at the compound. Resentment built up inside him, burning through his chest as he cursed his own weakness.

If he had been better able to withstand the pain, she never would have seen him like that, at the mercy of his maker.

Part of him wished he had never laid eyes on her. It would have saved him a lot of anxiety and trouble. He’d blamed her in their conversation through the bond, but he knew he was a fucking hypocrite. She didn’t ask for any of this. He just lashed out because he couldn’t do so with Snoke, because she had seen him brought to his knees and the shame curdled in his stomach at the thought.

It was going to be a long night, potentially stretching into days of meetings and plans. He was lucky Snoke allowed him to attend, even though he had been stripped of his right to voice his opinion. Kylo had gotten off lightly, he knew that. Compared to those early days of training, Snoke’s anger was a mere whisper.

Hux approached from the bottom of the hallway, those clipped strides echoing across the pristine floor. His red hair was slicked back, the sneer of derision practically screaming at Kylo.

“I see your meeting with the Supreme Leader did not go well, for you,” Hux looked him up and down, taking in Kylo’s mussed hair, the sweat that beaded his brow. “You’ll do well to remember not to disappoint him again, his patience is thin. Your usefulness is at its end,” He turned away from Kylo, pushing the doors open to convene with their leader.

Kylo slunk back toward the barracks, looking for a bathroom to freshen up before their meeting. He knew it was pointless to look for a bed, no allowances had been made for him for tonight, another punishment for his mistakes.

The watered-down drivel that had been placed outside his apartment had done very little to invigorate him, he was still tired from not having slept the night before. Training with Rey, fasting and then exhausting himself to escape his errant thoughts had left him depleted.

Soldiers passed by him, dressed in their black uniforms, not a hair out of place. Their expressions were blank, eyes dead, weapons in the war machine that never rested. There were no friends in the Coalition, only survival and ambition. He thought back to Hux, one of the few who still had a glint in their eye.

Kylo knew Hux had been the one to report his failure, knew he relished the opportunity to drive distrust between Kylo and their Supreme Leader. He had no idea how he was going to repair the mistakes he had made in the last mission, and not just the ones the Coalition knew about.

Rey… what had possessed him?

_Your weakness. Your loneliness. Your inability to exist without the validation of another._

His mind sneered at him, the darker parts of him close to the surface. Pain and anger always brought it out in him, and he harnessed it, as he had been doing for years. Using his shame and anger as fuel he plotted.

His comms in his hand, reaching out to the scout team that had found the base this last time.

**We convene after the morning meeting. The**

**Supreme Leader commands that we find**

**the insurgent base. He will not accept failure.**

**Conference room F – Kylo Ren**

The team confirmed their attendance, they had no other choice, same as him. But he would prove to Snoke, Hux and any other that dared to question his abilities that he would be ruthless in pursuit of their enemy. No matter his personal feelings.

After he improved his appearance, he went in search of something to see him through the rest of the ordeal. The cafeteria was moderately busy, troops sticking to their assigned teams, designations displayed by the small differences in their uniforms. A dash of color, the cut of a collar. Conformity was important, their individuality had been eradicated. Their eyes followed every move he made.

He commanded the most difficult strike force to join. The Knights of Ren answered only to him and Snoke. They were granted more freedom, their bloodlust encouraged. The trainees that had made it to the recruitment stage had to prove their worth in battle before they earned the title. The men Rey had obliterated had obviously failed that test.

These soldiers knew he had some openings to fill.

Kylo watched the time run down, focusing on his breathing, forcing his body under control. He had tried to plan for the confrontation with Snoke, and as far as things went it had gone as expected. It was almost a stroke of luck that he had been silenced during the meeting.

He made his way toward the great room, met with a large table set up for the Supreme Leader, the Elders and high-ranking military. He was technically rankless and so he got to watch from the shadows of the room, out of the way.

The Elders filtered in, their skin waxy and translucent with age. They wore loose fitting robes, similar to Snoke, black with the faintest hint of the colors that denoted their domain. Brendol Hux’s robe shot through with silver thread, second only to the Supreme Leader when it came to recruitment and training of the troops. Armitage Hux’s father was a formidable man, a shadow that loomed larger than Hux would ever be able to escape.

It was rumored that he was a “connoisseur” in the past, seeking out mortals that would make the finest specimens for the army, those whose skills and talents would be amplified by their newfound power and provide unmatched potential. They whispered about how his eugenics formed the basis of the entire operation.

Unfortunately, as they had taken over more of the world, their options were diminished and they had to rely on average and undesirable specimens to fill the holes left by the insurgency and infighting.

Snoke entered the room last, the doors shut behind him and he settled at the head of the table, not sparing a single glace toward Kylo. The others remained on their feet, waiting for his signal.

“Debriefing, General Hux,” Snoke said, gesturing with his hand for everyone to be seated.

“We discovered one of the insurgent bases in the Arvalan desert. Obscured against the mountains, the base consisted of a network of underground tunnels and rooms. One of the more rudimentary settlements we’ve discovered over the years. Unfortunately, we suspect they must have had intel as to our movements or a strong scout presence because by the time we arrived it was mostly abandoned,” Hux started, pulling up pictures of the area and the teams’ findings as he spoke.

“We have it on surveillance and from the few surviving eyewitness accounts that mortals drew our troop away from the base and the small remaining force was able to escape. Our men fought valiantly and fulfilled their duty as soldiers, dying in battle for our cause. Although we were unable to apprehend our enemy, their lab did yield some new discoveries,” Hux continued.

Kylo almost smirked at the way Hux glossed over the fact that Rey had taken those men down single-handedly, and that her body had not been recovered. He knew that it was more important to look good in front of the deep pockets and decision-makers than it was to be honest.

Kylo was intrigued to find out what they had uncovered in the lab, considering his own correspondence with Hux had stated otherwise. They must have pulled something out of their asses at the last minute.

Hux flipped to the next image on the screen, the layout of the lab and the Coalition scientists’ own analysis of the findings of that left behind.

“They are developing some kind of deterrent. From the blood and chemical samples we were able to retrieve, we’ve discovered that they established an enzyme that makes mortal blood almost completely inedible. All of the nutrients are stripped and nullified when it comes into contact with vampire venom. This is their latest form of defense against us. They know they cannot win and so they poison the source to ensure we will be wiped out along with them,” Hux finished.

Murmurs sprung up around the table, those in power discussing this new possibility that their most necessary and desired food source was now contaminated and potentially unusable.

Kylo thought back to when he turned Rey, her blood had been repulsive, even the scent of it had been off-putting. Although he hadn’t fed on her in the real sense, the bit of her life essence that he had consumed should have given him an added boost. Pure blood was nearly impossible to come by these days. Instead he felt ill for a few moments, had almost vomited.

This did not bode well, at all.

He had to press her for information. He knew she would have done the same in his position. If it meant the survival of herself and her people, she would do whatever it took. She _was_ one of his people now, despite his regret and her resentment. They would have to find some kind of middle ground.

Perhaps if he could prove that she was an asset, that the information he gleaned from her was useful, the Elders would spare their lives. It was a stretch, he knew it, but it was all he had at the moment.

He would set his team to task on finding the new base, and next time they struck they would succeed. Kylo couldn’t afford another loss, and from the sound of things neither could the Coalition.

Hux announced a vague plan about the scientists working hard on a blood substitute and filling the supply they currently had on hand. None seemed pleased with it, Kylo knew that the blood was not good enough to survive on, definitely not in the long term.

He kept his mouth shut, taking Snoke’s order seriously, even though every bone in his body ached to question Hux about the quality of the swill they were serving to the soldiers. The people in this room were still supplied a mostly pure product, they didn’t understand the danger of the “blood” that was being produced and served to the masses.

Hux briefly mentioned that investigative teams were ready to resume tracking and trying to find the new base. It had taken weeks to find the one they raided, and they had almost nothing to show for it. Kylo needed to get back home, away from the compound if they had any hope of succeeding. Rey held the key, but there was no way he could tell them that.

After that a few general questions were taken and answered by either Hux or the Supreme Leader himself. The Elders seemed less than pleased, team leaders and commanders looked tired, the weight of keeping the Coalition running had begun to affect everyone.

Snoke dismissed the meeting, urging people on their way to see to the daily needs of a militia, casting one scornful look toward Kylo before he took his leave. Kylo left for the conference room, eager to get things under way in order to redeem his standing.

He had given up too much and worked too hard to have it all be questioned now. His loyalty was constantly being tested, his skills under scrutiny at every turn. Kylo fought the treasonous thoughts that sprung up in his mind. If Snoke was nearby he might try to delve into his mind, and if he sensed even a whiff of rebellion, Kylo would be disposed of. Snoke only considered him an asset because of how eager he was, especially at the beginning.

After being abandoned by his parents in favor of their fight, constantly growing up in their shadows, Kylo was conflicted. The chasm between them grew until the revelation that his own grandfather had been a vampire Elder came to light. There was no going back for him then. He embraced the darker side of his legacy and had fought to prove himself worthy ever since.

The task force deduced that their best bet was to sweep the base and their lab again, try to find a scent to track or a pathway that may lead to the new insurgent base. They were briefed and deployed out on their mission within thirty minutes of their meeting. Time was of the essence, the longer they waited the larger their enemy’s lead.

Kylo felt out of sorts landing his craft near the base again, the sun baking down onto the red earth. Their search would be focused on the interior channels until dark, the tunnels that twisted their way through the heart of the mountain like veins.

He could smell the amalgamation of mortals, the stench their altered blood left behind. Walking through their base he was surprised by how much they had left behind. They must not have had as much of a warning as the Coalition first surmised.

Rooms were carved out of the rock, small outcroppings serving different purposes. His team found their kitchen, food still laying out, abandoned. The air slowly becoming acrid as it turned. The tunnels and their rooms were cool despite the heat baking onto the surface.

They found bedrooms, two beds per dugout, just rolls on the floor. No time for comfort in the face of survival.

His team branched off, their comms beeping as they tested for sound, ensuring that no one would be lost in the maze.

Kylo was left alone, wandering around the ghost of a life he’d been so close to living. Had he not turned when he had, he probably would have been one of them.

He picked up a familiar scent, difficult to detect under the chemically altered blood, but enough to follow. Winding through the darkened corridors, flashlight at his waist for when he needed it, but for now his enhanced sight was enough.

The room was near the darkest part of the corridor, a paraffin lamp still burning, so dim he assumed the fuel was about to be extinguished, the entrance covered with a sheet. His gloved hand grabbed the fabric, ripping it from the hook on the wall, revealing a single bed pushed into the corner.

Books lay strewn about, manuals on crafts and technology, engineering and languages. The bed was unmade, a pile of clothes hanging off the back of the chair, the small desk packed with papers.

He rested his hands on the back of the chair, a scarf from the pile under his hand, diaphanous fabric intended to shield from the sun more than a chill. Lifting the linen to his nose he inhaled deeply, his body reacting instantly.

He knew this scent. It belonged to her.

Even with the metallic mold of the enzyme spoiling most of the scent, his senses went into overdrive at the hint of her mortal blood. His eyes dilated, mouth beginning to salivate, his body primed for a hunt that he knew, logically, was impossible.

Such a draw. He hated the allure that her scent held, hated how she had captivated him with her ferocity. The self-loathing at his weakness only grew as he stood, material gripped in hand, lost in the sensation of something he would never have.

Enraged, he forced himself away from it, tossing it aside. The chair in his hands thrown against the wall before he had a chance to think about what he had done. He swallowed the anger, the roar that came with it, not wanting to alarm the troop, not wanting to call attention to himself.

His comms beeped, one of the men letting him know that they had found a trail but that it led outside. They still had hours of daylight to contend with, most of these men had been up for hours.

He hadn’t slept in what felt like days. If they wanted any chance of success, they would have to be operating at full capacity to track.

**If possible, find a spot to hunker down in.**

**We follow the trail at dusk. No way of**

**knowing how long the search will take**

**or when we will feed again. You will**

**need your strength. We reconvene in**

**the lab at twilight. – Kylo Ren**

He sent out a message to them all, none of their comms within hearing range. They must have stuck closer to the common areas.

He looked around her room, the splintered wood on the floor reaching up with jagged edges. At least he had thrown it away from the bed.

His eyes found the roll on the floor, the tousled sheets that still smelled like her. Could he do this? It would only be fair, seeing as she was probably curled up in his bed at the moment herself.

Still, this felt like an imposition, and he didn’t know what to do with that feeling. It had been many years since he had cared about such things. The privacy of another, the infringement upon their space had not been a priority with the Coalition. Under the Elders they had never had an opportunity to be alone with their thoughts, to feel or wonder.

This girl, _Rey_ , was proving problematic. Although he would never admit it to her, he only had himself to blame. He had picked a poison and now he had to let the fever run its course.

With that decided he lowered himself onto the floor, trying his best to get comfortable on a roll far better suited to her smaller frame. As it was, his feet hung over the edge, boots flush with the rock of the floor.

He covered himself with the thin sheets, once again assailed with her scent. It swam around him, heady and thick, almost as if she was in the room with him. Kylo forced his eyes shut, focusing his breathing to slow his heart rate.

He had never been good at controlling his impulses, and this was definitely an exercise in doing so. Once he had caught up on some rest, he would inspect her room more closely, perhaps her items held the key to knowing some of their plans.

_Or the key to knowing her._

The thought rose unbidden, tempting him, the curiosity about his fledgling and where she came from… who she was, almost overwhelmed him.

Still, he tamped it down, using his anger and confusion as a shield, stamping down thoughts of her. He couldn’t afford a distraction, or another sleepless night.

Forcing his body to relax he slipped into the clutches of sleep, fitful and on edge.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had intended for this to be a short story with vampire sexy times. Instead we're at the cap I set initially and these idiots haven't even kissed yet. I'm upping the chapter count to 20, so we'll see how long it takes them to get there lol

Chapter 10

The images swirled around her, chaotic and tinged with a darkness she did not understand. The dream felt choking, the smoke that surrounded her more than her imagination, more tangible, as if it was a memory.

Rey fought her way out of the debris, crawling through the haze and rubble, desperate for the surface. She couldn’t shake the dread that snaked up her chest, her panic compounding her breathlessness.

Finally, she emerged from a collapsed room, her eyes adjusting to the burning night around her. Other buildings, like the one she had just escaped from lay ruined, their remainders crackling with the heat of the flames that charred them black.

Distant screams filled the air, people trapped under the fiery carcasses of buildings, entombed by the smoke. Rey desperately tried to run toward the sound, wanting so badly to ease their pain and help them to safety, but her body would not move.

Stuck in the experience without being able to change a thing.

Again, feeling like she was trapped in some sort of recall, unable to change the past. But this was not familiar, this experience was not hers, and she searched for the source of this anguish.

She felt him near, the footprint of his terror almost tangible, turning away from the inferno she focused on the night sky behind her. He was there: the lone figure on the grassy knoll, panting for breath.

His hands clung to the sides of his head, large fingers threaded through hair like pitch, curling haphazardly through his fingers. Tears streamed down his face, cutting through the soot on his cheeks, trails of despair. A thinner and more off-balance face, as if it hadn’t yet matured to suit his features.

Innocence and youth. Even as his face was twisted in fear and pain, Rey could see a softness there, a boyish charm. But as she watched him take in the scene around them, she knew she was witnessing the end for that boy. Already his features were hardening as he shoved down the feelings swirling within him.

She felt the tumultuous emotions at war within him, couldn’t tell what he was thinking but he seemed to be resigning himself to something. The fear that had assailed him moments earlier hardened into resentment. His shame compounded, fueling the anger that simmered beneath the surface.

He knelt in the grass, his chest heaving with exertion and sobs, his hands falling limply to his thighs. He gripped the muscle there, fingers digging in as if this physical twinge could distract from the chaos within.

Rey tried to understand what she was seeing but the memory, or dream, or whatever this was gave nothing away. Just rehashing something that she didn’t understand.

He seemed alone here, the screams having died down, the beacon of flame all that was left in the night. The air around them was so dense it felt as if she would never have a clear breath again.

Kylo, or whoever this version of him was, rose to his feet with difficulty. He forced himself to move, his steps stilted by a weight that seemed to sit on his bones, as if his skin had absorbed every ounce of the atrocity of the scene around them.

He did not look back, even though his shoulders still shook with the ghosts of his sobs, the small hitches in his breathing the only human sound remaining. The crackling grew fainter, the further he got from the inferno. Those hands, almost too big for him, as if he hadn’t grown into them yet, were balled into fists.

She felt the sting of his fingernails biting into the flesh of his palm, the physical pain motivating him to keep moving, to face forward.

Rey had heard stories at the barracks. Some of the group followed the same religion, not one she was familiar with, but in that moment she was reminded of a story they’d told. A woman who had been urged to escape from the evils that plagued their world and a town that fed into that iniquity. She had been warned not to waver or look back, lest she be destroyed.

He walked with that same purpose, as if facing what he was trying so hard to flee from would ruin him.

She wondered why he survived, when it seemed others did not, and why he did not search the rubble for those in need of saving.

His clothing hung off of his frame, ripped and scorched, as if he had fought his way out to the surface, the same way she had. Again, she was reminded of his youth, the way his body looked different to the man she knew.

The height was there, but he seemed lankier, less of the heft on his bones. Years of training would bulk him up, she knew. But watching him, seeing the differences between this young man and the Kylo that turned her, she couldn’t help the curiosity that twisted in her core.

She hated that she wanted to know more about him, that with every infuriatingly vague kernel she learned about him she was almost insatiable to quench the need for more information. Desperate to understand him, for reasons she couldn’t even begin to explain, let alone understand.

Rey felt compelled to blame it on the blood bond, rationalizing that it only made sense to want to know more about someone that could see the most hidden parts of their soul. But she couldn’t convince herself of the lie, not fully.

He was too much of an enigma, a contradiction wrapped in anger and secrets, and unexpected kindness. She wanted to _know_ him, not just basic information and why he turned her. Not just for information to take back to the Sentinels. _Him_ , his fears and how to quell them… the hidden pain that he buried under the smoldering coals of anger.

Most of all. Most hated of all. She wanted to know what his laugh sounded like, the genuine thing. Not the mocking and sarcastic slips, but to see him truly free… she had a feeling it would be an overwhelming experience.

As she followed him, caught up in her own ruminations, she hadn’t noticed that the scene had shifted. He knelt before someone in a gold cloak, sweaty and frightened, as if another feat had just occurred. His hair was longer, his eyes shadowed. His hands bled from the exertion of whatever he had just done.

She felt the same dark roil within him but buried underneath was something small and sharp: a longing.

He moved through one torturous landscape after another, toils of training and strength blending together, hardening the boy. The gold cloak remained constant in these scenes, always stoking the anger, adding to the hurt, whether physical or emotional. And Kylo became more like the man she recognized from now. She grieved the loss of a side of him that she would never know.

Finally, it seemed like the dream was coming to an end. Rey saw him holding the stake in his hand, the one from beneath the bed, his hand gripped around it so tightly his knuckles lost all color. She felt conflict within him, the pull from the past splitting into the wall he had built up over the years. The light spewed through the cracks within his soul, almost painful in its intensity.

He sat on the edge of the bed she knew she slept in now, but here she stood watch over him.

He put the stake away, stashing it under the bed, where she had found it, and then covered his hands with leather gloves, as if touching anything after that was too overwhelming.

She wondered at the gloves she’d seen him wear at the compound; Rey had assumed they had been to cover up his injury… but now she couldn’t help but wonder. Was this another wall, another façade that he put up to make it through the day, to reiterate to himself who he was now?

He had only ever touched her without them.

 _Don’t make something out of nothing_ , _for all you know this dream you’re having is just your own overactive imagination._ She scolded herself, confused with all she had seen.

But the feelings were there, stronger than her own, flooding the bond with their force. He must have been off guard, sleeping or injured. He would not have let her feel and know that much, given the choice.

Everything she had seen so far, everything she had learned led her to believe that he was an intensely private person, and the bond had definitely been an accident. Kylo Ren did not seem like the type of man that wanted anyone to know what he was thinking or feeling.

As she drifted closer to waking it was easier to make out his thoughts, her alertness helping with the clarity of the bond.

She could tell that he was sleeping fitfully, the nightmares all from his end that had filtered their way through to her. Rey felt him struggle, burdened by a past she did not know, one he still carried with him every day.

Her mind opened itself intentionally, and she tried to send a message through the bond without waking him. He had seemed so tired when she’d seen him at the compound, and Rey knew that he needed rest.

She tried her best to soothe him, not talking through the bond but attempting to send him reassurance that the dream wasn’t happening to him right now. Rey couldn’t promise that he was safe or that the pain would end, she had no way of knowing. She had no right to make those statements. But she could let him know that he wasn’t alone, even if he tried so desperately to convince himself that he had to be.

 _Shhhh_. _I’m here._ The thought slipped past her intentions, and later she would blame it on the fact that she was still half asleep, but the message seemed to make its way through.

 _Rey…_ she heard his inner voice mumble, and she fought the spark that burnt through her stomach. Apparently, thoughts could have a gravelly morning voice.

He recognized her, seemed to relax at her message.

His thoughts faded from the memories, and became a jumble of things too hazy to understand. Some inklings jumped out, and it seemed like he believed he was wrapped up in her somehow?

She didn’t know if her message led him to believe she was there with him, but it seemed to bring him a modicum of comfort, stilling the demons within for the time being.

 _Don’t do it. Don’t feel sorry for him. Don’t try to fix him._ Her thoughts warned her, sensible and firm.

Logically, she knew she shouldn’t. She understood that entangling herself with this man would only lead to more pain and difficulty and danger. He didn’t deserve anything from her after what he and his kind had done.

 _But he saved your life_. The counterargument, the irritating side of her that clung to that shred of humanity he’d shown, and all the subsequent moments in between.

Could someone like him even be genuine? Did his kindness come with strings, or falsehoods she had not yet discovered? He seemed to worry about her wellbeing, her comfort and safety.

However, at the same time, he was abrasive and secretive, doing the bidding of those she despised the most… those she had sworn to kill and rid the world of. He was one of them.

She was one of them.

 _Rey…_ his thoughts reached out to her again, and she could almost hear the worry in his voice, picture the frown that no doubt puckered his brow.

 _Sleep._ She instructed through the bond, too disturbed by her line of thinking to soften the words, only capable of a command at that point.

He seemed to hear her and listened. The bond petered out as he slipped into dreamless sleep, his body and mind finally at ease. Rey was anything but.

Kylo clouded her mind, the more she learned about him the more dangerous he became, not just to her survival but now he posed a threat toward the core of who she was. She was a warrior, an independent fighter who was eager to get back to her home… the one she had fought so hard to find.

She could not afford to lose sight of that because of a pair of haunted eyes and the way her name felt like a caress when he said it.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Kylo Ren struggled to pull himself from the past, the nightmare strong and unexpected. He hadn’t had to endure one in such a long time, but the stress of the situation he found himself in and Snoke’s dressing down of him earlier that day must have triggered something deep within him.

Usually he did a better job of ignoring his past, forcing it away, and focusing on the tasks at hand. He wasn’t always successful, surely, but usually he channeled that into drive. On the occasions that he was truly overwhelmed he turned to a physical outlet, but that had done little to quell his feelings last night.

 _Rey_ … her presence in his life had turned him inside out, old feelings and insecurities emerging after he had fought so long against them.

He hated that he had given in to the ever-present loneliness, the draw she held seemed almost impossible to ignore at the time. It was no wonder their bond was so strong, he’d been called to her before he even turned her. But dealing with the repercussions of that choice seemed much harder in reality.

His focus was diverted, his work suffering, his internal bearings thrown off so much that he started to waver on his loyalty to the Coalition.

He was supposed to be the fearsome Kylo Ren, leader of the Knights of Ren, a crusader of the dark and the fist of Snoke’s army. Instead he now extracted himself from her bed roll, ashamed that he had invaded her privacy in this way, disgusted at himself for falling prey to her scent. Obsessing over a girl, who up until a few days ago had been a mere mortal… pitiful.

He knew he would still have to gather what information he could glean from her belongings, even though he struggled with that kernel of guilt now, it had to be done to succeed with their destruction of the insurgency.

The lamp was almost dead, but with his enhanced vision it still served him well enough. He started with the papers strewn around the room: designs for crafts and other transport vehicles, crude and rushed drawings but the merit behind them could not be ignored.

He found books on different languages, Shyriiwook and even some binary, and pages of notes she had made stuffed in between the volumes. She was intelligent, that much was clear, tenacious and battle-ready by his own experience. A part of him was reminded that all of that could have been gone, if she had actually died. A great loss it would have been, indeed.

Kylo didn’t dwell on his conflicting personal feelings for her, forcing himself to focus on the merit she possessed. Had the Coalition had different rules on procurement and turning of new vampires, he was sure that she would have been welcomed happily. As a mortal she had already outpaced his knights in training, he was sure that she could probably hold her own against his Knights of Ren, at least for a while.

Though he shuddered at the thought of Ushar getting his hands on her, knowing of his knight’s propensity for making his victims beg for mercy, dragging out the pain he inflicted if they showed weakness to test their mettle.

His comms beeped beside him, the scout team letting him know that the sun had receded enough for them to continue their search and that they were all making their way to the lab where the trail began.

Kylo headed for the hallway, turning back briefly to scan the room, taking note of all the pieces of her that had been left behind. He debated bringing something along, to help her feel more at home with him… but that would require an explanation of how he had gotten it, and what his orders were.

He doubted that she would want to know that he had searched the mementos of her past for the means to capture and kill the insurgents she called family.

Perhaps he could implement it in another way, offering to teach her more of their ways and asking her to teach him something she knew from before. From the trove she had stashed in this temporary dwelling he was sure she had a wealth of knowledge to draw from.

 _Focus, you idiot. You don’t have time to waste on a damn girl._ His inner voice was cranky, reminding him of what was at stake.

His failure had led them here and it was up to him to ensure success next time, lest Snoke decide he had outlived his usefulness.

Once he arrived at the lab his team swept the remnants of the room. There wasn’t much left to discover, a lot had been destroyed by the insurgents before they fled, and what remained had been confiscated by the Coalition. What they focused on instead were the faint traces of mortal stench left behind.

Two trails were the strongest, most recent. The taskforce followed the scents out toward to surface, back onto the craggy terrain, now backlit by twilight and the smattering of stars.

They walked for what seemed like ages, getting further and further from the base. Eventually the scents became fainter, the smell diverging into two separate trails. Kylo commanded the group to split in half in order to follow both simultaneously. It might be difficult to communicate if they were separated too far, but it was a risk they had to take.

Kylo and his team headed east, into the dark, and he couldn’t shake the sense that something bad was going to happen. Even if they were walking into a trap, they should be able to handle themselves, or fight long enough to try and escape.

The mortals were reliant on ground vehicles and could have make it hundreds of miles in the time they were forced to wait out the sun. Kylo and this team could end up stranded by the time first light came, with nothing new to show for their efforts but wasted time and a lead that vanished with each passing hour.

Still, they had to try.

They pushed onward, ignoring the pangs of hunger and difficulty of the terrain. Although pursuit would be easier in a vehicle the accuracy of their tracking would suffer and they would lose the edge they had on foot.

The oppressive heat from earlier dissipated, leaving them chilled. The ground beneath them was losing heat quickly, and the night around them seemed still as if the animals could sense them nearby and kept their distance.

Kylo could hear the faint breeze disturbing the sand, the skittering noise it made as it floated along the surface almost too loud for how inconsequential it was in the scheme of things.

Despite the tranquility of where they found themselves and the mindless task of tracking, Kylo found himself unable to let go of his dread, his muscles primed to sprint at any moment.

It horrified him to realize that he was right to feel that way. The bond flickered to life and the force of Rey’s terror almost led him to a dead stop. He focused as hard as he could on her, trying to see what was causing her distress.

It had been a risk to leave her there alone… but he couldn’t avoid it, had hoped that it would still be the safer option for her. He was wrong.

Rey was fighting, he sensed her desperate attempts against her opponent but the he wasn’t able to make out much of her surroundings, could really only see her. She was in the dark as well.

 _Kylo!_ Her voice broke through the turbulent emotions.

_They found me, one of them is trying to kill me and I’m having trouble holding him off! He’s strong and I can’t reach his weak points through the armor and helmet he has on._

Oh no, gods no.

One of his Knights had discovered her, and they always leaned toward kill first and ask questions later.

 _Tell them I say to stand down! Tell them you are my fledgling._ He urged, knowing it was the only chance they had to save her life.

He heard her pleading, breathless and exhausted. Kylo sensed her pain, knew that whichever of his men had gone up against her had doubtless held nothing back and she was probably badly injured, or would soon be.

 _He stopped trying to kill me, but he’s trying to restrain me now. He said he’s going to take me to the Supreme Leader._ She seemed almost more apprehensive of this than fighting his Knight for her life.

 _What does his mask look like?_ Kylo asked, trying to see if he could do or say anything else to spare her from Snoke.

_A rictus, made up of a patchwork of battered armor._

Ap’lek. The most elusive and deceptive of his knights. But thankfully the one that relied on deception to capture and kill, not one who depended heavily on brute force and violence.

 _His name is Ap’lek. Not the worst of my knights, but still more loyal to the Coalition than some of the others._ Kylo ran the options through his mind, knew that his secret was blown, it didn’t matter if he was here with the scout team or not, the consequences of turning Rey and hiding her from the Coalition outweighed any mistake he might make on a mission.

 _Tell him I will see you to the Supreme Leader myself, I am on my way. If you haven’t fed yet today, offer him your portion. He might be more partial to negotiate on a full stomach._ They had no other choice, Kylo would have to face up to what he had done and pray that he could convince Snoke of her usefulness.

Somehow, he sensed that convincing her to turn on her comrades would be more difficult that earning Snoke’s forgiveness. Rey was stubborn, and believed in what she thought was right. She wouldn’t fight with such conviction, ready to die for it, if she didn’t.

 _He’s agreed, on the condition that you arrive quickly. He’s keeping me restrained in the training room._ Rey stated, serious and calm, belying the panic that he felt pulsing underneath.

He understood that she was loathe to show her fear, whether to Ap’lek or himself he couldn’t be sure.

 _I will be there Rey. I said I would protect you, and I will._ He couldn’t hold back what he was feeling, the horror at her situation, the urge to safeguard her and ensure no more harm came to her… and the blind rage that flashed within him knowing that his man had inflicted pain on her, even if it hadn’t been as bad as one of the others.

He turned from the scout team, sprinting back to the base and his craft, not even bothering to give them an update. Kylo might not make it in time, Snoke did not like to be kept waiting, and if Ap’lek decided to report finding her sooner rather than later, it wouldn’t end well for them.

 _Hurry, please_. The begging note in her voice shocked him slightly, she had seemed so composed when fighting, acted as if she could take down any enemy, but now he saw that it must be a front.

She was used to doing things alone, her ultra-independence stemming from a feeling of utter loneliness and necessity, at least that is how it seemed in her mind. He wondered what she had experienced before she joined the insurgents, wondered if that was why she was so willing to kill for them.

He was pushing himself past his limits and he knew it, but he made it to his craft and launched into the sky before he could catch his breath.

 _This is not going to end well_. The thought came unbidden and he hoped sincerely that his fear and dismay had not made its way through the bond. He didn’t want Rey to give up hope, at least not yet.

The stars rushed by in lines of white, the craft pushed to the brink of its speed capabilities, the engine droning as he thrust it forward, alarm sounds and warning lights filling the cabin.

He made it back to the apartments, landing gracelessly, rushing into the building toward Rey.

Kylo didn’t have time to think, to weigh these strange feelings. He’d been loyal to the Coalition for so long, fought until he bled and starved for them, but this was different. This was a keen ache, a terror he could not put a name to.

She was seated against the wall, her hands restrained with cuffs in front of her, black blood dripping from her nostril, a cut through her eyebrow starting to crust over. Her eye was slightly swollen, her hands red and scabbed. She was already healing but the sight of the wounds set forth a feral roar within him.

He looked toward Ap’lek where he stood, helmet on the ground beside him as he sipped from the bag of blood.

“Have you reported her to the Supreme Leader?” He asked, his voice husky with the strain of emotion on his throat.

“I reported finding something unusual at your apartment. We got a hit off of your laptop but I knew you were away with the taskforce, figured I would check it out and see. Imagine my surprise at finding this little morsel in your bed,” Ap’lek said, licking some blood from his teeth as he spoke, savoring it in front of them both.

Kylo didn’t have time to dwell on the fact that she had no doubt been sneaking through his items, saving their skins was more important right now. If they lived they could have a conversation about it later.

“I will turn her in to the Supreme Leader. She is one of the insurgents and was almost dead when I discovered her, I thought she may be useful to us,” Kylo said.

It wasn’t a lie, but at the same time it didn’t encompass the truth. He hoped she knew that, hoped she realized that what he said and did now was only to save their lives.

It was difficult to tell from her face, but he felt the sting of his words through their bond.

 _Trust me, please._ Was all he dared through their connection. He didn’t want to seem like he favored her too much.

“If you insist, she’ll die either way… whether by my hand or his, you know this. You might get off lighter if you tell him you captured her to sake your lust and intended to dispose of her when you were done. He would believe that type of weakness from you, given your tendency to lose control,” Ap’lek said, and Kylo couldn’t tell if he was genuinely trying to help him or if he was attempting to insult him based on his weaknesses.

He wasn’t wrong. Snoke would probably excuse that quicker than a secret plot that included the enemy.

“So be it, but I do not want to cast any further doubt on my allegiance. If I surrender her myself, willingly, the Supreme Leader might be more amenable to me keeping my head, even if she loses hers,” Kylo answered, walking over to Rey.

He reached out his hand, gloved this time, for her to take.

Apt that she would take his hand as it was now, obscured and part of his armor, while he lied for all he was worth.

He plead with her silently, his eyes trying desperately to convey that this was all a ruse. For some inexplicable reason he cared what she thought of him, wanted her to know that he wouldn’t hurt her.

The look she gave him was one of such hatred he almost wanted to shrink away.

“You’re a monster!” she spat at him as she took his hand and stood up, ripping it from his grip as soon as she was standing.

“Yes, I am,” he admitted, honestly.

He couldn’t escape what he was, no matter how much he wanted to be different for her. He was a monster, and a murderer and he had caused her so much pain against her will.

He deserved every ounce of pain and fear that coursed through him at the moment.

“You go on ahead, I’m grabbing a clean shirt to get some of this desert film off of me. You know how he is about appearances,” Kylo said to Ap’lek, urging him and Rey toward the exit. Ap’lek nodded and followed orders.

He was in charge of his Knights, at least for now.

Kylo hurried to change out of his sweaty and caked with sand shirt, and bent to retrieve the stake from under his bed. He tucked it into his waist band at his back and covered it with the clean shirt.

If it came down to it and they were going to die, he was going out on his own terms. He would see to as quick and painless a death for the both of them as he could before he let Snoke’s Praetorian guard get their hands on Rey.

He caught up with her and they walked toward the outside, Ap’lek in tow, following behind them. The blood bag was discarded along the way, just tossed to the floor like garbage.

Kylo sensed her hunger, she watched Ap’lek feed and toss it away right in front of her, and even though she wasn’t badly injured, he knew that she needed the extra blood to heal.

The ride to the compound was almost silent. Rey in the back of the vehicle as Ap’lek drove with Kylo in the front seat. It pained him to keep his gaze forward.

 _I’m sorry, Rey. Truly, I am._ He tried to say through the bond, but it seemed like she had closed herself off from him, he just hoped that the message still made it through.

Ap’lek walked them through the halls when they arrived, stopping short at the elevator that led them to the Supreme Leader’s throne room.

“He’s waiting for you,” was all he said before he turned from them.

They stepped into the elevator, the white light filtering through the slats seemed extra bright, but that could just have been because his nervous system was working on overdrive.

“You don’t have to do this,” she said, pulling him from his thoughts. “I feel the conflict in you, it’s tearing you apart,” Rey turned to face him. “Kylo, I know this does not have to be your future. Do not bow before, Snoke. Turn, I’ll help you, I swear it,” She urged him, stepping so close that he could feel the heat from her body.

“When the moment comes, you’ll be the one to turn. You need to stand with me, I cannot save you otherwise. You must turn,” Kylo said, looking down into her face, trying to have her understand the severity of what was to come.

Before she could respond they heard the hiss of the door opening, the red glow of the room pervading, illuminating the side of her face.

Kylo led her toward his master, his sire, trying his best to hide his emotions. He couldn’t afford to show fondness toward her, not if they had any chance of survival. She had to turn, there was no other way. If Snoke sensed conflict in him, saw that his allegiance was in question, they wouldn’t make it out of this room.

And they had to, because he couldn’t bear the alternative. She had bewitched him, and they had to live long enough for him to exorcise the stain she left on his soul. If she was struck down now, she would be with him forever, and he could not stand the thought of that.

No one else was going to take her from him, he wasn’t done with her yet.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Rey hated that she had reached out to him during the attack. Usually she would have kept her composure, been ready for whatever came her way, but behind enemy lines she was lulled into a false sense of security.

She had assumed that since Kylo was away, the risk of anyone coming to his quarters were slim.

_Stupid!_

Of course, they were tracking his laptop and its usage. No wonder he had the calligraphy, something they couldn’t keep tabs on 24/7.

His “Knight” had come in without making a sound, gassed the room that she was in and was in the midst of attacking her before she had even realized someone else was in the room. She had been lucky not to meet any of his ilk on the battleground.

These particular “Knights” had skills that far superseded those of the common foot soldiers she had slain. It occurred to her far too late that there was a stake under the bed, and frankly she wasn’t sure she would have been able to retrieve it before the man attacked again.

He moved quickly, decisively, and with a silent menace that she would not soon forget.

Now they stood, facing the Supreme Leader, the source of Kylo’s fear and pain. She didn’t have to ask him to know. Rey recognized the gold cloak from Kylo’s nightmare, remembered him punishing Kylo before the meeting. This was not someone that messed around.

They were in danger.

Kylo had said some things she didn’t know whether she should believe or not. His tone and expression were harsh and unfeeling, but through their bond she had felt his terror and concern… how desperately he had rushed to get to her in time.

Even now she could feel him thinking, trying to spin a story that was both believable and that painted her in a positive light. He was trying to show that she would be useful to the Coalition… and throughout it all she sensed his doubt: in himself but especially in her ability to play along.

“Ah, such a disappointing act from my apprentice. So much time that I seem to have wasted on a fool,” the Supreme Leader said.

He was larger than he seemed in Kylo’s thoughts, but thin and spindly, like a mantis or a spider. His face was disfigured and she struggled not to stare at him, sensing that it would only cause him irritation.

“I believed you better than a common, weak licentious wretch. I chose you based on your connections, your fighting and tactical skills, the knowledge that you brought to us from the enemy… I trained you, honed you into the perfect weapon. Now, you’ve chosen to throw it all away to slake your lust?” He scoffed at Kylo; the tone of his voice seemed almost nonplussed but his expression was anything but. Hatred simmered under the surface, the look he gave them of such reproach that Rey wanted to shrink away.

But she wouldn’t. Not this time. She wasn’t a damsel.

Last time she was unprepared, this time she was a lamb trussed up for the slaughter, but she was ready.

Her wrists tested the restraint that they had her in, Kylo was free to move about, thankfully. She scanned the room trying to find an avenue of escape, but the only way out was the same way they came in.

The room was surrounded by fighters, dressed entirely in red, their helmets obscuring their faces, different weapons clasped in each of their hands.

 _Praetorian guards, Snoke’s private guards._ She heard him say through the bond and realized he could sense what she was thinking.

 _There’s no way for us to run, they would track and capture us. We have to be smart about this, play by his rules and we might live._ Kylo finished, already seeming defeated.

She didn’t bother to respond to him, still trying to process the situation, not willing to accept that they were out of options.

“Well, what do you have to say for yourself?” Snoke asked Kylo.

Kylo dropped down to his knee, as if in reverence, and looked up at his leader.

“The mission at the base was failing, I decided to turn her, intent on breaking her and having her turn to our side… the same way I did. I thought she could provide us with intel, give us an edge we needed,” Kylo said, dropping his eyes back to the floor.

Snoke laughed at him, as if what he’d said was ridiculous.

“I’m sure it had nothing to do with your tendency toward dramatics and emotional outbursts?” Snoke teased, playing on Kylo’s weakness. “Tell me the truth, I am not an imbecile, don’t insult my intelligence!”

“She was killing my men, she represented everything I stood against and I wanted to take what I could from her, so I did. Her mortality was the thing that meant the most to her. Sure, she could be useful for our cause, but my emotions got the better of me. That’s why I turned her, it was an emotional response,” Kylo said, his hands balled into fists, the leather creaking under the strain.

Rey could sense the truth in what he was saying, she could also tell that there was more to it. Snoke had broken him down so much over the years, and he was feeding into that expectation, telling him what he expected to hear. He hadn’t turned her out of revenge, it seemed more like he couldn’t stand watching her die. His feelings were those of grief and loneliness in his recollection, not resentment and anger.

“And so, the truth is revealed. I should kill her right now just to punish you… but I fear you will not learn much from that, so we will do this another way,” Snoke said, turning his attention to Rey.

He flicked his wrist, beckoning her toward him, before she could give her feet the command to move, she felt them sliding against the smooth floor. He was controlling her body somehow. She thought back to the pain he had inflicted on Kylo in this very room, he must have employed the same techniques then.

Rey fought against his metal hold, grunting with the effort.

“I’m sure he did not tell you, but my men are closing in on the insurgent’s new base. Within minutes they will obliterate the last stand in the way of our new empire,” Snoke said, his dark eyes boring into her as if he could read her mind, “Kylo Ren led the charge against them and now you will get to watch them die,” he finished, drawing her attention to a screen, the radar showing multiple vehicles convening toward a single point on the map.

“You won’t succeed, they have methods in place that you haven’t even dreamed of. They will survive! You underestimate them, and me!” Rey shouted, angry and worried for her family.

“Ah, that fiery spit of hope. I see that he has not been able to turn you. No wonder he kept you hidden from me. You are nothing but a filthy cur, a blight on my crusade and I will not have you corrupt my heir any further. For that reason, you must die,” he stated simply, tossing her back toward Kylo. She landed hard, rolling and sprawling out to slow her fall, grunting in pain at the impact.

Rey was able to push herself up to kneel, but Snoke held her in place and all she could do was struggle in vain.

Kylo avoided making eye contact with her, his gaze intent on his master, not even blinking. She had never seen that look on his face before, didn’t know what to make of it. But she had a bad feeling about it.

She tried to reach out to him in the bond, but he closed himself off from her.

“My apprentice… where the was conflict, I now sense resolve. Where there was weakness, strength. Complete your training and fulfil your destiny. Rid yourself of this tether to your past, prove to me that you are worthy and loyal to none but me,” Snoke commanded, gesturing with his hand for one of his guards.

A red body stepped forward, a stake in their grip. They laid the weapon into Kylo’s outstretched hand, the black leather swallowing the metal hilt. They then removed her restraints and stepped away. Kylo stood, looming over Rey, and for the first time she feared him.

“Please, don’t go this way,” she whispered, trying to reason with him out loud since he had closed himself off from her.

“You think you can turn him? Pathetic child! I cannot be betrayed. I cannot be beaten. I see his intent. He will turn the stake to strike true and kill his enemy!” Snoke boomed from the other side of the room.

Rey could still see the vehicles intent on their path toward the base from the corner of her eye, the hidden one in the D’Qar region, their last resort. It had been a miracle that they escaped in time to get there. She could not let that be for nothing. If she died, she would not be able to warn them, whether they wanted her help or not, they didn’t deserve to die.

Her eyes found Kylo’s, staring up at him, so large and so intimidating, so much simmering beneath the surface. But he forced her out and she couldn’t decipher what he was feeling.

“I know what I have to do,” was all Kylo said.

 _Kylo?_ She ventured through the bond but was left with nothing but a loud roar, as if all that stood between her and a hurricane was a single door.

He stepped toward her, the tip of the cold metal making contact with the skin of her sternum.

She heard Snoke chuckle behind her, but didn’t remove her gaze from Kylo, fighting against the traitorous tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks. Their relationship was so new, so undecided, but yet a part of her had hoped for more than just this. More than just a swift end and so many unanswered questions.

He took a deep breath, and faster than she had ever seen anybody move, his hand disappeared behind his back and whipped forward. He threw something over her head, too quick for her to make out what it was until she heard the thud, the wet sticking sound of a stake impaling a target.

Snoke’s hold over her dissipated and she fell to her knees, Kylo reached out his now free hand and called the stake back toward them.

Her hand reached up to grab it out of the air, the remnants of Snoke’s chest still staining the shaft.

They looked at each other for a brief moment, holding their breaths. For a split second she wondered if he would turn on her but then she realized that the bond was free again, she could hear and feel what he was thinking. They seemed to exist within a vacuum, the connection teeming with unspoken words and feelings, so rapid it seemed to transcend time.

 _Why am I still alive? I’m supposed to be dead. Snoke is… was my maker._ Kylo’s confusion permeated their connection and she remembered his lesson, the way they were taught to believe that a vampire could not survive without its maker.

He killed his master, believing that in doing so he would die as well. Just because he couldn’t stand to have her die first. He risked it, and it paid off.

He was awash with feelings, guilt and fear and hatred… all directed toward Snoke. She heard what he hadn’t said while he stood over her, with that cold spike pressed against her chest.

 _I couldn’t let you die. Not then, not now. But now what do we do?_ He asked, the guards in the room closing in around them.

 _Now, we fight_. Rey responded, turning to cover his back, and he did the same.

The fought in a frenzy, their attackers well-trained and ruthless. Rey tried to remember everything she knew from before, tried to focus on getting a kill-shot.

She managed to take down one but was waylaid by a fighter wielding double blades, they were wickedly sharp and before she could step out of bounds the guard drew first blood, nicking her on her tricep.

Behind her she could hear the exertion of Kylo dropping a body, could feel his determination through the bond. He kept glancing over at her, worried about her.

She struggled against her assailant, taken to the ground by a sharp kick in the chest. But she continued fighting, not willing to surrender. Finally landing a blow through their breast plate, the synthetic cover giving way under the sharp weapon in her hands.

Kylo was fighting multiple assailants but he made quick work of most of them, until she heard his metal stake clatter to the ground.

One of the guards had him kneeling on the ground, throttling him from behind with their staff. There was a large gash on his face, angry and seeping black.

“Kylo!” she shouted, as she tossed her stake through the air toward him.

He caught it, shoving it into the guard’s eye behind him before yanking it out of the socket and finishing the kill.

They stood staring at each other from across the room, their chests heaving with the effort of the fight.

Rey jumped to attention, the screen still flickering in the now-ruined throne room.

“Kylo, please. Order them to stop the fleet, there’s still time. We can still save them,” she asked.

She felt his hesitation, a deep pain that she did not understand.

“You could join me, we could take over and rule together,” he offered, his hand outstretched toward her.

They both knew it wasn’t a possibility, there were others, higher in rank, closer in succession. They would not take kindly to treason, nor would they allow that person to rule.

“Please, don’t do this. You know we can’t, not this way. Come with me, I’ll protect you,” Rey said.

“I can’t go back to her, and neither can you,” Kylo said, sadness radiating from him through the bond. She felt the keen ache of loneliness, abandonment from his side of the bond. She didn’t know who he was talking about but the thought left him broken.

“After everything I’ve done, I can’t go back there,” he said, his eyes glossed over in some memory she couldn’t quite grasp.

“Kylo please, we have no other choice. Whether we go to the Sentinels or not, we have to leave now, others will come soon and we can’t take them all. We can figure it out afterwards, but just join me, please,” she asked, pleading.

He nodded.

“I can’t intercept the team, not without raising suspicion, but maybe you can get a message through to the other side. We can take Snoke’s craft, it doesn’t have as many restrictions on it as the lower ranked transports, but we have to hurry,” Kylo said, grabbing her hand and leading her out a door behind the throne that she didn’t even know existed.

They ran through the darkened tunnel, Rey trying to keep up with his longer gait, adrenaline fueling their escape, both of them exhausted from the fight, both injured.

They made it to the transport, a sleek craft that held the two of them comfortably, and Rey tried not to marvel at the technology in front of her. She’d read so much about the crafts, had dreamed of flying one. The Sentinels had been working to procure some, to help them gain an advantage that they sorely lacked, relegated to ground travel.

Kylo flicked some switches, lights blinking on, engines humming to life, the floor beneath her feet vibrating. She sat in the copilot chair and buckled herself in as Kylo launched them into the sky.

It was still night, the vast blackness of the sky swallowing them up, the compound disappearing behind them into a pinprick of light.

He handed her a comms device connected to the dashboard.

“I’m not sure if you can cloak the transmission or not, but give them their warning,” he said.

Rey examined the device, thinking back on all the research she had done, all those years studying for moments like these. She was able to scramble the frequency of the transmission so that it couldn’t be used to trace the recipient.

“Sentinel home base, this is Scavenger, come in,” she said into the device.

A moment later it beeped with a response.

“Scavenger, we thought you had died,” the voice on the other end of the line sounded shocked to hear from her.

“No time to explain. You have incoming enemies, flanking the East side of the base, at least two teams. You need to get out, now!” she injected as much authority into her voice as she could, hoping that they would heed her warning.

“Mobilizing now. Are you safe?” came a familiar voice, and she almost cried in relief.

“Not yet, Finn. Working on it. Please just get everyone out as soon as you can,” she said, grateful that her friend had made it out of the last raid alive.

“Rey, come home. We’ll be waiting at the forest base in the outer rim territory, come to Ajan Kloss as soon as you’re able,” Finn said and signed off, no doubt to see to the evacuation before the vampire troops landed.

Kylo started to compute something, entering coordinates into the system.

“Can this craft be tracked?” Rey asked.

He looked over at her, realizing what she was asking, his mouth folding into a line in answer. Kylo stopped his map projection, instead heading straight, further into the dark.

An alert blared over the speakers, red lights flashing inside the cabin.

“Attention!” it droned, “Attention! Important message,” came a computerized voice.

“Hello, this is Armitage Hux, former General, current acting Supreme Leader. Our brave Supreme Leader and my father Elder Brendol Hux were killed in cold blood this evening during an interrogation. Disgraced former leader of the Knights of Ren, Kylo Ren, is responsible along with the fledgling that he sired. He is considered an enemy of the empire and all forces must rally to find him,” Hux’s voice came over the comms system and Rey fought the sick feeling in her stomach.

“That son of a bitch! Of course, he seized the first fucking opportunity that he could. We didn’t even lay a finger on Brendol. He probably discovered the throne room and ambushed Brendol in there when he had the chance,” Kylo said, anger filling the cockpit, almost as if it seeped out of his pores.

“We suspect they escaped on the former Supreme Leader’s craft. Anyone within their vicinity with tracking capabilities, focus all fire power on them. We will not tolerate this blatant disorder or treason! They are to be executed on sight,” Hux finished, the comms beeping with the end of the transmission.

“We need to abandon ship, if they find the craft it’s over for us,” Rey said.

Kylo slammed his fist down onto the control panel. Even his thoughts bordered on noncoherent, he was so overtaken by what he was feeling. He looked at her, desperate, hopeless.

“Set us down, or better yet, let’s jump and crash the craft. We may buy ourselves some time not being near the wreckage when it reaches land. We will be harder to track,” Rey said, the plan already formulating in her mind.

Kylo nodded, turning off all auto controls and setting the plane to manual control.

“There should be parachutes in the hatch by the escape door,” Kylo said.

Rey opened the hatch and was alarmed to find only one.

Kylo picked up on her distress and turned back toward her, seeing the lone parachute in her hands.

“We’ll make do, there’s no time,” he said and stood up from his seat, the plane shuddering as it fell prey to the air currents surrounding it.

Kylo put on the chute, clipping the harness around his body before he threaded the secondary harness around Rey’s waist, her back pressed into his chest.

The clip had barely clicked in place and the door was open, the frigid air from this high up hitting her in the face with its intensity. The alarms blaring from the cockpit were almost drowned out by the wind.

 _Trust me_. He said through the bond before he walked them forward and plunged into the dark.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

They hurtled toward the ground at a sickening speed, the lurch in his stomach almost enough to distract him from the fact that she was within the cradle of his arms, her heart racing against him.

The cold air bit into him and he could only imagine how cold she was, in his t-shirt and shorts, with only a pair of socks on her feet. They looked a little ridiculous.

He wore his regular black, which helped to hide the fact that his facial wound was dripping all over his clothing, she looked like she had just rolled out of bed, both of them injured and exhausted.

The area was so remote, so dark, that even with his enhanced sight it was near impossible to tell when to activate the chute. He relied on his intuition and the little he could tell about their surroundings.

They had made it a decent distance from the base, he had pushed the craft past its normal limit to get as much of a head start as he could. The Coalition would be after them, almost more so now that Hux was in charge.

Hux had never liked Kylo, constantly seemed to relish the prospect of him getting reprimanded or knocked down a peg. It was almost a personal animosity, and now Hux had all the Coalition resources at his disposal.

He’d been willing to kill his own father, a calculated move considering Brendol was his maker. Hux must have realized through Kylo’s risk that the rhetoric they had been fed since their turning was a lie. Everyone would realize the repercussions of those choices. How would the soldiers feel now that their imagined bonds were no longer restricting them? Would they mutiny against Hux, try to free themselves, or would they continue to live like spokes on a wheel, moving the war forward?

Kylo steered the parachute toward the clearest area he could make out, it would still be a rough landing. They may not have been in the desert like before, but the ground was still unforgiving.

 _Lift your legs, Rey._ He urged, trying to position his body to take the brunt of the impact.

His intentions were not enough to see them through, the shock of the landing shot up through his legs, gravity pulling both of them down. He wrapped his arms around her, his hands coming up to protect her head as they rolled into the dirt and rocks.

Kylo felt new bruises and cuts litter his body, could sense Rey’s pain through the bond as well, though luckily not as keen.

They lay tangled, caught up in the fabric of the chute, Kylo beneath her.

“I’m going to unhook you, I know this is uncomfortable,” he said, referring to how she was sprawled out on top of him.

He felt her nod her head against his hands. Kylo removed them, trying to find the clasp in the dark despite his clumsy hands making it a chore. The click of the harness being released was quiet after so much air whooshing past their ears.

Rey struggled to move off of him, awkward on her back and yet not having the ground to aid her movement. She rolled off of him, unable to make it too far under the chute, but it was a relief for Kylo. He must have bruised or broken a rib sometime during the fight and their landing because breathing felt anything but easy. Having Rey on top of him definitely didn’t help that.

The stake tucked into his waistband didn’t feel very good either.

“Are you okay?” Rey asked, probably sensing his pain.

“I’ll be fine. We need to keep moving if we are to have any chance of escape,” he said, already trying to get up.

He couldn’t afford to slow them down, but he felt his body rebelling, his head still bleeding, the wound slow to clot or close. Kylo could feel various other cuts under his clothes, his right leg had taken the brunt of the landing and it was tender when he tried to stand up.

Rey tucked herself under his arm, trying to prop him up, her arms wrapping around his waist.

“I’ve got you, let’s get you unhooked and we can take the chute with us in case we need it for shelter,” Rey said, her deft fingers already loosening his harness and trying to slip it from his shoulders.

He acquiesced, fatigue setting in quickly as his body tried desperately to heal.

She took the pack from him, ushering him away from the chute. He found a nearby tree, leaning against the trunk as she made quick work of tucking as much of the fabric back in the pack as she could.

Rey lifted it onto her shoulder and approached him. He couldn’t read her face, his vision blurry from the pain and the blackness surrounding them.

He had no idea how much she could sense through the bond, but judging by how kind and efficient she was being, she knew he wasn’t going to remain conscious for much longer.

“We dropped somewhere over Rattatak, the craft will probably crash further into the Western Reaches. Luckily we found a fairly level plain to land, but we’re in the mountains now and it will be a long trek to reach Ajan Kloss in the Outer Rim territories,” Kylo managed, struggling to fill his lungs to capacity, dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

“We need to find somewhere to hide out, at least until you’ve healed a little. You won’t make it to Ajan Kloss in your condition,” Rey said, scanning the area for some indication of a route to take.

“You could always leave me behind, you could probably run a decent distance without me, you could cover a lot of ground before the sun comes up,” Kylo offered, sincere.

She deserved the chance to survive, he would only slow them down and put her at even more risk than he already had. Hux wouldn’t stop until Kylo was captured and this way he could at least protect her with his final act.

“Stop it, we’re not doing that. You’re not dying, not on my watch,” Rey said, her voice stern.

“We know now that you won’t die if I get killed, you’d be far safer away from me. Hux is coming for me,” Kylo tried to reason.

She just scoffed at him, once again propping herself under his right arm to try and support his injured leg.

Rey didn’t say any more, just pushing them further, deeper into the mountains. Within he could feel her anger, fueling her forward. Most of it was directed toward him, furious that he would be so quick to give up, some of it for herself as well. She resented the fact that the thought of his death distressed her.

He knew the feeling well, had grappled with it incessantly for the last few days. She had turned his world upside down. A week ago, he was a leader, feared and respected. Now he was a fugitive, driven half mad by a woman, his body on the brink of collapse.

They didn’t speak for the rest of their trek, all the energy directed toward moving forward. Rey was single-minded, he could almost hear her chanting through the bond: _just one more step_.

He wasn’t sure if it was for her benefit or his, but he appreciated it.

Eventually, as the sky was starting to brighten with the first kiss of day, Rey made out an abandoned hunting cabin in the distance. It would be pushing it to make it there before the sun rose, but it was a hopeful sight, one that propelled them both ahead with renewed vigor.

They reached the threshold as the bands of light rose over the peaks surrounding them, Kylo felt the discomfort of the UV rays so close to his skin. Even without direct contact the proximity felt like something crawling through his blood, itching from the inside out.

Rey let go of him for a moment to force the door open and he stumbled into the room after her, grateful when he saw that they had left some furnishings behind, including the very necessary curtains that Rey was in the process of closing.

He shut the door behind him, leaning against the back of the wood, his vision fading in and out. 

He saw a fairly large bed in a corner of the room, a fireplace across from it. Through a door he saw what looked like a rudimentary kitchen and through another a bathroom.

He knew better than to hope that there was running water, but on the off chance that there was a reserve in the pipes… he had to wash some of this blood off of him before he sullied the bed.

Rey turned to him, watching him attempt to cross the room for the bathroom.

“Where are you going? You look dead on your feet!” she admonished.

“Need to wash off blood. Clean bed,” was all he managed as he dragged himself forward another step, his leg uncooperative.

“For god’s sake! Sit down before you hurt yourself even more,” she said, leading him over to a chair near the empty hearth.

She muttered to herself as she went looking in the kitchen, a few clangs sounding before he heard the splash of water hitting a container. Rey emerged with a bucket and cloth, setting it down beside his feet.

“The water is cold, and I’m not sure how clean it is, but if you insist on cleaning some of this blood off, you’re going to need some help,” she said.

Her hand dipped the fabric into the bucket, droplets escaping as she held it up to his face, dabbing it against the cut that bisected his cheek. He couldn’t stop the gasp of pain through his teeth at the contact, but he shut his eyes and allowed her to work, knowing he couldn’t do it on his own.

His hands shook where they rested on his thighs, the muscles burning in his leg, a sharp pain in his side, all wound up in his fatigue. Kylo wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to remain awake while she cleansed his body.

Rey worked methodically, dipping the cloth back into the water and wringing it out when it became too saturated with blood and dirt.

She urged him to lift his arms, removing the scraps that remained of his shirt. Rey sucked in a breath and Kylo opened his eyes to look at what had alarmed her.

His side was slick with blood, a deep laceration with a sharp rock embedded in the skin. She pried the rock from between his ribs and he moaned in pain, hazy and ready to give in to the blissful promise of unconsciousness.

Kylo felt the cool cloth pressed to his side, trying to stem some of the bleeding, eventually she just used his discarded shirt. Holding it against the wound, she took one of his hands in hers, lifting it onto the fabric.

“I know, I know it’s hard but I need you to hold pressure here for a moment so I can wash away the rest of the blood and ready the bed. We need to get you into bed, you need rest if you’re going to be able to heal,” she said, her voice soft and soothing.

Her anger seemed to have dissipated the closer they got to the cabin, and now it had extinguished into worry and tiredness. She had fought just as hard as he had, pushed them further than he would have thought possible. Guilt ate up his esophagus, knowing that she pushed herself for him, that she now sacrificed her own rest to see to his injuries when she had her own to tend to.

He did as she asked, fighting sleep as best as he could, holding the material steady against his weeping wound. After a few moments he felt the blood slow.

Kylo heard her shake out the sheets and the covers, trying to free them of dust and air out the stagnant material.

When she returned, her hands were gentle on his skin, ridding it of the remnants of their rough night.

Kylo was overwhelmed, the physical sensation almost unbearable, such relief in the face of so much pain.

“Rey,” he whispered, words almost beyond him.

“Yes,” she answered, looking up at him where she knelt, removing his shoes.

 _Thank you. Don’t deserve this. Deserve to die._ He finished in his mind, too out of it to form the sentences out loud.

“Shut up, you stupid brute. You do not get to die on me, do you hear me?” she said, that spark of anger pushing through her weariness, letting him know that she was serious.

He had seen her determination; she would probably drag him from death just to beat him for getting there in the first place.

“Mmm,” he said in agreement.

“It looks like most of the bleeding has stopped. I’m going to have you stand, just for a moment so I can remove these blood-soaked trousers. Keep pressure on your wound,” she said, pulling him to his feet by the crook of his elbow.

He swayed, the ground looking almost alluring. Kylo wished that he could pass out, even if it was on the floor, being horizontal seemed like a dream at that moment.

Kylo could barely feel her hands anymore, numbness spreading through his body. A part of him worried at the sensation, knew that the absence of pain and feeling wasn’t a good sign. The larger part however just reveled in the relief. From within he could feel a fire start to snake its way across his skin, the heat building.

“Step out of the fabric, I’ve got you,” she said, from his side.

Rey led him over to the bed, stumbling under his weight, her own body beginning to betray her as well.

 _Stay, please_. Kylo thought, her cool hands a boon against the fever that washed its way over his body.

“I’m not leaving, I just need to get myself cleaned up as well,” she said, pressing him down into the mattress.

He moved over as far as he could, almost against the wall.

 _No sleeping in the chair. You need rest as well. Enough room for both. Promise I’ll behave._ He said, trying to joke, the delirium making him want to laugh out loud at the thought that he could be a threat to anyone right now.

“Okay, just rest,” she said, her voice thick with an emotion he couldn’t reach.

 _Thank you, Rey. You saved my life._ He said, desperate to convey the depth of his gratitude before he succumbed.

 _Saved your enemy, no more than a stranger. So good. You’re so good._ Kylo struggled against the guilt.

“You did the same for me, even though it wasn’t what I would have preferred, you saved my life. If you hadn’t, I’d be decaying into the desert right now. You’re not a stranger, even though I don’t even know your real name,” she said, brushing the back of her hand against his brow, the cold trace bringing a smile to his face.

_Ben. My name is… was Ben._

The last thing he remembered before sleep claimed him was the feeling of her touch on his skin, and the relief of surrendering his trust.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for sensitive readers: this chapter contains descriptions of animals being killed. The scene starts with "The bear was menacing, tearing toward her and the deer she was about to make contact with" and ends at "Rey let go, stumbling to her feet" if you'd prefer to skip that portion.

Chapter 14

Rey sunk down into the chair, the wood creaking as she rested on the edge. Some of Kylo’s blood still marred one of the arms, even though she had tried to scrub it. She was too exhausted to keep at it, her own hands tainted by it.

She had attempted to scrub his shirt, to rid it of as much blood as she could so that it might potentially be usable again and it lay draped over the back of the chair, drying.

She glanced over at where he rested in the bed, partially covered by the blanket but his torso exposed. He was healing, very slowly, she wondered if he had been able to feed since he left her for the compound. Given how long it was taking she doubted it. Rey struggled against her own hunger; her injuries were minor compared to his but they still amped up the empty ache in her stomach.

Rey didn’t know if vampire bodies could scar, but it seemed likely if they didn’t get sustenance, and soon. Her tricep was marked by the Praetorian guard, the bleeding stopped but the strange line still puckered and angry.

Hers was the best looking wound at this point in time, Kylo looked wrecked. His face had been sliced from above his eyebrow and all down his cheek. His side was a galaxy of bruises, radiating out from the wound, had it gone any deeper he might have punctured a lung. She was certain at least one of his ribs was broken.

His leg was in poor shape as well. There was no way they were getting out of here soon enough. They would have to do something to try and guarantee their safety. Kylo had dripped blood all the way from their landing site, a veritable breadcrumb trail for the Coalition to follow.

She didn’t know what to do. Her brain tried desperately to think of options, but all she could focus on was how hungry and tired she felt.

The bed looked so tempting, especially after the hours of walking that they had done, but at the same time her stomach balled into a knot at the thought of resting there.

He wasn’t sprawled out, per say, he was just built like a fucking refrigerator so the space was limited at best. Kylo had felt feverish when she checked his temperature and his almost incoherent mumblings did not seem promising.

Still, she thought about what he’d said, the guilt he felt… his desperate plea for her to leave him in order to survive. He believed himself undeserving of even being alive. Rey had no idea how to approach that kind of mentality, how to reassure him when her own feelings toward him were so complicated.

She knew he deserved to live, deserved the chance to redeem himself if that was what he desired, but trying to convince him of that seemed like it would be an uphill battle.

He made her promise to get rest, to utilize the bed… had even tried to joke to assuage her fears. And then completely surprised her by trusting her with a piece of his past, a piece of himself.

 _Ben_. She thought, rolling the name around in her mind. It seemed to suit him, somehow.

He murmured in his sleep, as if in answer to her thought.

The bond had grown so much stronger over the last few days, he’d resorted to almost entirely communicating through it at the end there, when he was too weak to speak.

She wondered how much he’d been able to pick up from her, he seemed so out of it, she’d focused on speaking aloud for his sake. Would they ever be able to disengage from each other, splayed open as they were, secrets tumbling out into the ether whether they liked it or not?

Rey forced herself to her feet and wandered over to the bathroom, splashing her face and arm with the cool water, trying to rid them of dirt and blood before she gave into her body’s need for sleep. The water reserve would not last long, and she used it sparingly.

Eventually, there was nothing left for her to do but climb into bed beside him and pray for sleep to overwhelm her senses.

It was her own nightmare that overtook her this time, her guard down from the emotional turmoil of the past few days. She hadn’t dreamt of them in a while, not much since joining the Sentinels.

Rey remembered the heat of the desert around her, different from the one Kylo had found her on, less craggy with sand swept dunes. The dirt choked her, coating her throat and making it even harder to breathe through her heaving sobs.

She saw the craft ascend into the sky, heard herself, younger and more frightened, screaming up it… begging them to come back for her. Rey felt the sharp ache of her solitude, of struggling to survive in such a hostile environment, all the while waiting for them to return.

She knew now that they would never come, it had taken leaving the Jakku desert and finding her true family to realize that holding on to the past was a pathway to nothing but pain. Still, when her defenses were battered like they were now, those old feelings crept back in: the loneliness, the feelings of worthlessness, the fear…

Tears slipped through her closed eyelids, the pillowslip damp beneath her head, but she was too tired to pull herself from it completely. The images may have faded but the feelings remained.

So, she sought comfort from the only place she could, her fingertips reaching out toward his, knowing that he struggled with the same. His past plagued him as well, drove him to nightmares that hung around long after they ended, because they were real.

Ben, Kylo… whoever he was didn’t matter in this moment. Not when the second their hands touched her pain faded to a dull ache and she was able to slip into the soundless sleep she’d so craved before.

She woke much later, could tell that it had been far too long by the crick in her neck and the sensation that the sun was fading from the sky. They had slept most of the day away.

Rey found her hand entwined with his, his face turned toward her, still sleeping but far too close for comfort. She started to slip her fingers from his grasp, trying not to wake him, but as soon as they moved his eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the darkened room.

He seemed to realize their connection a moment later, his hand opening to release her, his expression unreadable.

Through the bond, however, she sensed embarrassment? He seemed to think that he had been the one to reach out to her in the night. She fought her own when she remembered the bad dream, and her seeking solace from him to chase away her demons.

If he heard all of that through the bond he didn’t let on, instead he just cleared his throat and stretched out his hand, as if her touch had branded him, flexing it before forcing himself to relax it.

Rey sat up in bed, tried to put some distance between them, without getting up, loathe to leave the comfort behind.

“How, uh, how are you feeling? Your wounds were really bad, and slow healing,” Rey said, trying to shift the attention away from their awkward interaction.

“I’m not sure, I’m still in pain but it seems the bleeding has stopped for good. My eyesight is still slightly blurry so I’m having a hard time seeing in the dark. Could you crack open the curtain for me to assess?” he asked, trying to force himself into a sitting position as well, having to stop halfway through and rest against the headboard.

Rey nodded, not sure if he could even see it, taking the excuse to leave the bed. She carefully opened the curtains, the sunlight fading and far away enough that it didn’t hurt when she exposed the window fully.

She looked over at him where he reclined, his arm wrapped around his body, gripping his side, pain etched into his face. It didn’t feel as harsh as it had before, through the bond, but he still had a ways to go before he would be well enough to travel.

“How bad does it look?” he asked, his question tinged with what seemed like self-consciousness.

She came closer, taking him in, trying to ignore the way her chest jumped under his intense gaze, those dark eyes seeming to bore into her soul.

The facial wound was definitely going to scar, but it didn’t look as bad as it had when she cleaned it. Likewise, the bruises on his side were turning away from the puce color they had been before, the wound smaller than it had been and finally scabbing over.

She couldn’t see his leg where it was under the covers but if it had healed at the same rate as the rest of his injuries, he would be okay to leave within a day or so.

“You’re healing, slowly, but it looks far better than it did when we arrived. You will probably have scars though; the wounds were all quite deep. I was worried about infection for a bit there, you were feverish when you passed out,” she said, not bothering to sugarcoat it, knowing he could see inside her mind regardless.

He nodded, his lips pursing into a dissatisfied line.

“I do feel much better, my head is a lot clearer. Though the sleep was fitful. I’m not sure if I had a nightmare…” he admitted, reluctantly, but giving in to the same realization that she had.

There would be little room for secrets now, the bond strong, pulsing between them.

“It was my nightmare, I’m sorry,” she said, breaking his gaze, ashamed that she had bothered him with her own weakness and troubles.

“I understand,” was all he said, closing his eyes, swept up into his own past.

“What are we going to do? I have no idea where we are, or how to get to the base from here. The Coalition will be here any moment, I’m sure, with the all the bleeding we did along the way,” she worried, hoping that he might have the answers.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this got so messed up. I should have thought about all of this, planned for it the second I turned you. I’m failing you,” Kylo said, frustration thick in his voice, his dark brows knitting together.

Great, all she had succeeded in doing was making him feel just as bad as she did.

“You couldn’t have known that it would turn out this way. I mean you toppled a government for me, for god’s sake. You can be forgiven for not having a foolproof escape plan in place as well. We’ll just have to figure this out together,” she offered, hoping that it might lighten his mood.

The corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile, and her chest tightened again, that strange swirl in her stomach feeling perilously close to nausea.

“Are _you_ okay?” he asked in response.

Her cheeks flamed, and she tried desperately to tamp down her feelings before he picked them up through the bond.

“I’m fine, just anxious, it’ll be okay,” she tried to convince the both of them.

“We’ll need to try to hunt, if we have any chance of making it that far on foot,” he said, and she was reminded again of the gnawing hunger that tore at her insides.

“I don’t think… I’m not sure I have it in me to kill a mortal,” Rey said, her voice quiet in the admission, feeling guilty that she even thought about it at all.

“We would be hard pressed to find a mortal these days, especially in such a remote area. Desperate times call for desperate measures, we’ll have to hunt wild game. It won’t be as sustaining, but it’s better than nothing at this point. We’ll head out tonight, most of the animals tend to be nocturnal so hopefully we won’t have too much difficulty finding something,” he said.

The prospect of animal blood didn’t seem especially appetizing, her nature warring with her own mortal prejudices toward blood. But it didn’t seem entirely repulsive either, and they had no other choice.

“Okay, are you sure you’ll be okay to hunt? I hope you’re not in as much pain as before,” she said, concerned about him.

She’d been genuinely worried that he wouldn’t make it, for a moment there, especially when the fever kicked in. He did seem in better shape though.

He shrugged, as if to say that he didn’t have any other option but to be okay, before he started to haul himself out of the bed.

The late afternoon light played off of his body in the strangest way, accentuating the ridges of his hard-fought muscles, and even with how abused his body was she could sense the power in it.

Rey averted her gaze, feeling the heat spread through her cheeks. Frankly, she was annoyed at herself and how she couldn’t keep these new feelings under wraps. Now was not the time or place for this. They scarcely knew each other and were barely past the point of being enemies.

 _Pull yourself together_. She scolded herself, shaking out her muscles and readying herself for the outside, pumping herself up for the prospect of being able to run off some of this nervous energy.

Kylo found his shirt hanging over the back of the chair, slightly damp but in much better condition than it had been in the last time he had it on. He pulled it over his head, wincing as his side stretched with the movement. His gait was still a little stunted but he didn’t seem to be in as much pain walking.

“You’re looking good,” she said, before she could think about it.

The double entendre only occurred to her when his head whipped around to look at her with the strangest expression and she turned her eyes away from his body.

“That is, you look like you’re able to move around easier,” Rey stuttered, trying to clarify what she had meant.

A rough chuckle rippled through his body, shocking them both, and this time he was the one that looked away first, slipping his shoes onto his feet.

“Let’s get going, we might be lucky and stumble upon a larger animal,” he said, pushing the door open.

“I know you haven’t hunted in the traditional sense, so a few quick tips: try to scent it out first, if it doesn’t smell good it probably won’t taste good. Reptiles are quite repulsive, try for something warm-blooded,” he waited for her to join him outside, taking a few deep breaths through his nose, his eyes dilating as he focused on the hunt.

“Next, you’ll want to be careful not to attack before you’re guaranteed your kill shot, no point running ourselves ragged chasing them. Lastly, if you come across a large group, attack from the fringe, we don’t want anything to turn on us if we can help it,” he said.

It all made sense on a logical level, she closed her eyes and tried to scent for something in the vicinity.

They both picked it up at the same time, it smelled like a mule deer, the gaminess almost palatable in its odor. She set off toward it, using her enhanced senses to move as quickly and quietly as she could. If she could take it down first, he wouldn’t have to work as hard and risk injuring himself.

He lagged behind her, his leg slowing him down, she heard him curse under his breath and she fought the urge to giggle. It felt good to have the upper hand, especially against him.

She spotted the animal a few furlongs ahead of her, grazing on the little it could find this high up in the mountains, she wondered why it had been driven up here, but didn’t care enough to stop and wonder, determined to take it down.

She was almost upon it when she sensed Kylo’s distress behind her, he may have fallen behind but it had given him more time to take in the surroundings. With her next inhale she realized what had set him on edge: another animal, larger, very close by.

The bear was menacing, tearing toward her and the deer she was about to make contact with. She only had enough time to break the deer’s neck, the thud of it dropping to the ground the last thing she heard before the bear roared and raised up onto its hind legs. It was massive, angry and far more of a threat than the animal that lay broken by her feet.

Rey stood her ground, not able to remember what she was supposed to do in the event of a bear attack. There weren’t too many of them in the desert, nothing had prepared her for this moment.

So, she did the only thing she could think of in that moment: she jumped high into the air, grabbing onto one of the branches above her, hoping that the bear would stop pursuing her with its intended prey available and waiting on the ground.

It pawed at the tree a few times, growling up at her but seeing its opportunity it turned from her toward the deer.

Rey felt more than heard Kylo’s sigh of relief, sensed him at the edge of the action, trying to be as silent as he could, not wanting to aggravate the animal further.

His relief was going to be short-lived. She made the decision too quickly for him to intercept her, but she knew from that last inhale that the bear would be far more appetizing than the deer anyway.

So, as it bent down, about to sink its teeth into her previous kill, she dropped down onto its back, tightening her arms around its neck and squeezing as hard as she could. It reared up, trying to shake her loose, but she tightened her grip over its throat and heard the snap of its hyoid bone giving way, the bear gurgling for a moment before it fell forward.

Rey let go, stumbling to her feet before she got taken down with it, the adrenaline within her spiking so high she felt like she could do anything.

Someone else didn’t agree with her assessment.

He barreled toward her as fast as his body would allow, his face thunderous.

“Are you out of your _goddamned_ mind?” he shouted, his voice shaking with anger and angst.

He caught up to her, looming over her, reminding her a little of the bear and she felt the urge to laugh at him. Until his feelings flooded through her adrenaline-fueled haze. He was terrified, his body trembling with the exertion of pushing himself to try to reach her in time and the shock of what she had just done.

“You could have gotten yourself seriously injured or killed!” he continued on his tirade.

“I got us food, okay, I’m fine. It’s not a big deal,” Rey said, not appreciating the fact that he didn’t bother to thank her for doing all the heavy lifting.

“You… insufferable, crazy woman,” he said, as his hands wrapped around her arms, careful to miss her injury. His chest heaved with each breath, eyes shining with an emotion she didn’t want to unravel or understand, lest she fall right into it.

His feelings poured through her, the dam wall breaking and after everything they had been through, he didn’t bother to hold back this time. She barely had time to process what she sensed from him, or the way it tangled her up inside.

His lips crashed into hers, softer than she had expected, given the ferocity behind the kiss. That was the last thing she could think about as she got swept along, drowning in the sensation of being this close to him. Her capacity for rationality was overtaken by a desire that razed through her like a wildfire, finally set free.

All those moments that she had pushed aside and tried to ignore were now the kindling that fed the frenzy. He seemed to feel the same, their emotions so intermingled that she couldn’t tell which belonged to her or which were his.

His large hand came up to envelop her cheek, the other slipping down her arm and wrapping around the small of her waist, the distance between them too much for him to bear, pulling her in flush against his body.

Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, raising up onto her toes to deepen the kiss, and meet him on a more comfortable level.

 _Ben…_ she thought, his name a curse in her mind.

He seemed to growl at the name, nipping at her bottom lip, before he slipped his tongue into her mouth.

The name seemed to incense him, anger twisted up with his desire and confusion… all caught up in the surrender of finally taking what he’d wanted for so long. Later she would ask him about it, about who he was and what name she should moan in her mind.

For now, she relished this moment, the total abandon, the way the world slipped away and disappeared completely. They were untouchable, backlit by the stars while their walls burned down within.

She knew that nothing would ever be the same again.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

It ate him up inside, feasting on what he had denied himself for so long. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck and it was over for him.

He heard her call his name, his mortal name, and it sent a bolt of something dangerous through him. Kylo didn’t know how to pull back, couldn’t force himself to be rational about this.

She had put herself in danger, willfully, and he was unable to do anything but watch as she took down the bear on her own. Her response to his panic had been to roll her eyes, obviously annoyed with his reaction.

But by that point it was too late for him. He couldn’t just keep watching her almost die. Rey was driving him insane, he barely recognized himself, and though he’d never been good at self-control even his best attempts failed when he held on to her.

They stood there under the stars, their meal cooling at their feet, ignorant of the world around them. The only thing that existed, the only thing that mattered was this moment.

It felt so good to be alone with her, wrapped around her, savoring the feel of her skin and softness. She didn’t hold back either. Rey met him with equal ferocity, her desire for him apparently just as sharp.

He forced himself away from her, his thoughts already running away with him, the small taste he had gotten nowhere near enough to slake the lust that burned inside of his chest. Iron-hot and demanding, it rebelled against the distance, but his leg was trembling… his whole body in fact. Though he wasn’t sure how much of that was from his injuries or just the headiness of her.

“We need to stop for a moment, we need to feed,” he reminded her.

Her pupils were blown wide, her gaze glassy. She raised her fingertips to her lips, almost in disbelief, parted and swollen from their kiss. Eventually she gave a nod.

“Do you have a preference or do you want to share?” she asked.

He was too on edge; the question was innocent but the thought of sharing a kill with her excited him for some reason.

“We’ll share,” he said, offering her first choice, “I’d recommend using the stake to cut, for easier access,” Kylo gave her the weapon, careful not to touch her. If his skin made contact with hers again now, he’d never make it through the feeding.

She cut into the bear’s chest, trying to reach the majority of the blood first, handing the stake back so he could do the same with the deer. They didn’t waste a moment, both starved and in dire need of sustenance, even if it was less than ideal.

Kylo gorged himself, feeling like a fledgling, his control completely frayed. Rey seemed to be struggling with the same sensation, though he couldn’t blame her, she actually was a fledgling.

He made himself pull away, wanting to taste some of the carnivorous offering before she drained it.

 _My turn_. He said through the bond and she snarled at him before she could think about it, but they made eye contact and she pulled herself away, moving over to where he was crouched. Rey nodded at him, stopping to look at him. Her thumb moved over his bottom lip, collecting some of the blood that had dripped and she licked it off of her finger.

It took everything he had to walk away from her and finish feeding.

The bear was more appetizing, closer to human blood, and after all the diluted rations he’d grown accustomed to it was the nearest he’d had to a fully satisfying meal in ages. They finished the hunt, wiping their mouths once they had drunk their fill.

Kylo felt his energy levels rising, his pain starting to lessen. He knew that he would probably bear the scars of the last few days for the rest of his life, but this was the first time since they arrived at the cabin that he felt certain he would make a full recovery.

Rey seemed similarly revitalized, her energy buzzing through their bond. He knew how hard it had been on her to watch Ap’lek drink her portion in front of her.

He walked over to her, reaching out his hand, the gloves long discarded in the burning wreckage of Snoke’s craft, desperate to feel her skin again. The connection was electric, the second their hands touched the air felt supercharged.

They didn’t have much time, especially now that they had fed, it would be prudent for them to travel with the dark, while they were feeling recharged.

But he couldn’t convince himself to leave this place, this small safe haven, without more of her. Rey seemed to feel the same, her fingers intertwining with his, the pad of her thumb stroking lazy circles into the back of his hand.

They reached the cabin and the moment the door shut behind them his mouth was on hers again, eager to continue what they had started. Her arms draped around his neck again and his hands gripped the back of her thighs, hoisting her up against him.

Rey wrapped her legs around his waist, as if she wanted to get as close as she possibly could, her hands splayed in his dark curls, body flush with his. He felt like he was burning up from within, the wanting driving him insane.

He had never felt this way before. There had been girls he’d been interested in during his youth, but they’d been nothing more than stolen kisses away from prying eyes. Little parts of him that he’d given away, discriminate and careful. But this… this felt destructive, like by the time they were through with each other there would be nothing left to give to anyone else.

Kylo walked them over to the bed, lowering himself down, careful not to crush her with his heft. He’d never been as conscious of his body, how unwieldy and awkward it was… how careful he had to be with her, because if he forgot, if he fell into the desire, he couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t be too rough with her.

She didn’t seem to mind; through their connection he could feel her abandon. Rey didn’t do anything by half measures, and it didn’t seem like this would be any different. Her hands tugged at his shirt, trying to pull it over his head, just as desperate for touch as he was. He lifted himself off of her, briefly, to toss the fabric across the room.

She looked beautiful, her hair spread out on the pillow, curls mussed and a half smile teasing those delectable lips. Rey looked like someone who was incredibly proud of what she had just accomplished and it was almost humbling to realize that this woman… this powerhouse, take-no-prisoners, wildling of a woman wanted _him_.

His mouth lowered to her jaw, kissing along the ridge, dipping down into her neck and for a fleeting moment he was reminded of turning her. She arched into him, her hands gripping his back, fingertips pressed into the skin as if it wouldn’t be close enough until every inch of him was touching her.

He sucked at her neck, his fangs teasing the skin, careful not to break it. Her nipples were hard against his chest, the most tempting mewls coming from her throat, overwhelmed by the sensation.

Kylo couldn’t resist slipping his hand under her shirt. He gripped her waist, the soft curve where it dipped in the perfect resting place. He stroked his thumb over her ribs, just beneath her breast and she moaned in protest.

 _Don’t tease me_ , she scolded, already feverish with need.

His own had mounted to a point where it was almost painful, the pants he had on restrictive over his hardness, begging to be set free.

She seemed to read his mind, her hands releasing his back for a moment to find the button to let him out of his confines.

He rewarded her ingenuity by cupping her small breast in his palm, squeezing lightly, before he shifted his grip to do exactly as she had asked him not to. The pad of his thumb flicked over her hard nipple, drawing the same lazy circles she had done into his hand.

She shoved his pants down over his hips, the fabric stretched across his thighs, some of the tension released but still not satisfactory, his underwear less uncomfortable but still very inconvenient. His frustration was cut short when she took him in her grip, her small hand wrapping around the girth through the fabric.

It was his turn to moan, all the blood rushing from his brain to where she tormented him, black spots covering his vision with the exquisite agony of her touch.

“What do you want?” he growled against her neck, brought to his knees by her touch.

“You,” Rey answered, breathy and low.

Every bit of her was seduction, from the way her legs were open wide, cradling his body, to the way she arched into his touch, desperate for more.

He understood the feeling, couldn’t imagine stopping, nothing could tear him from her body. Kylo needed more, needed to see her, watch her skin pucker in the cold air. He wanted to feel the heat spread through her as she blushed.

He sat back on his haunches, pulling her up with him, only moving away from kissing her long enough to pull the shirt from her body. The soft thud of it hitting the floor was the most satisfying sound he had ever heard.

Kylo took the opportunity to explore more of her body. She’d had the opportunity to see him fresh out of the shower, and again when she cared for his wounds. It was his turn to appreciate her.

He kissed down her neck, over her collar bone, toward her breast. When he took her nipple in his mouth her fingernails dug into his shoulders and her yearning burst through the bond, a keen ache begging to be soothed.

Kylo forced himself to take his time, trying desperately to ignore his need, knowing that once he gave himself over to her it would be impossible to stop. He attempted to keep his head, to move at her comfort level and respect any boundaries she may have. It was difficult to do with her writhing beneath him, moaning for more.

“You need to stop that, you’re going to drive me insane,” he said, lifting his head from her chest to look at her.

Her eyes half open, her head thrown back, her breath catching as his hand snaked along her side.

“Stop what? Don’t _you_ dare fucking stop,” she said, breathless.

“Your moaning… is doing very bad things to me, I’m trying to keep from drowning in you,” he admitted, his forehead falling forward to rest against her chest, straining to control himself.

Her fingers threaded themselves into his hair again, and she pulled on it lightly, not enough to hurt but enough to let him know that she meant business. Kylo looked up at her, his chin resting on her heart.

“I’m not going to tell you to do something that makes you uncomfortable… but if you’re holding back for my sake, don’t” she said, letting go of his hair.

He captured her mouth in his again, covering her body with his own. His hardness flush with her center as he rocked against her, the friction of their clothing almost painful in its intensity.

“Help me get these shorts off,” she begged against his lips.

He reached toward the elastic, pulling them down and tossing them aside to join the shirt. His hand moved up the outside of her bare leg, her body exposed to him fully for the first time.

Kylo couldn’t breathe. She was magnificent, her muscles taut from years of fighting but her hard work only served to highlight her femininity: her soft breasts, the dip of her waist, the curve of her hip… he couldn’t wait to get his hands on her ass.

She watched him, taking it in, almost shy after so much bravado.

“Exquisite,” he said, trying to convey how much she affected him, how beautiful and ruinous she was to him.

Rey gave him a small smile, showing him through the bond how much he affected her, how stunning he was to her, overwhelming her senses. She wanted him, badly.

He understood the feeling.

His fingers trailed down to the inside of her thigh and she opened her legs wider. Kylo wanted nothing more than to sink into her and finally break loose, but first he had to make sure she was ready for him.

He waited for her to give him permission, his hand trembling against her thigh.

“Please,” she begged. It was all he needed. 

He touched her slowly, her sharp intake of breath so arousing that he stopped for a moment, gripping the sheet with his other hand, wanting to do this right. Finally, he sunk one finger into her slick heat, her walls gripping him, hips moving against his hand.

She was so wet, the musk of her scent intoxicating. At some point he would have to go down on her to get a taste of it for himself. For now, he focused on testing her, inserting another finger, feeling her stretch to accommodate him.

His fingers deep inside of her, he moved his thumb against her clit, slow languid strokes.

 _Ben…_ her thought was almost a sob, her body building toward release, so tense from all the stimulation.

That name again, doing strange things to his insides, unmasking hidden parts he had so worked to suppress.

 _Rey… beautiful Rey. I can’t wait to watch you fall apart, to feel you pulse around me._ He sent right back through the bond, too overwhelmed to say the words out loud.

Kylo used his other hand, unable to take the pressure anymore, releasing himself from the confines of his underwear. He wrapped his fingers around himself, pumping in the same rhythm that he used on her.

The moan that he’d been trying to hold in escaped, her name falling from his lips like a prayer.

Her hips ground into his hand, eager to meet his thrusts, her hand gripping his arm, the other clutching the headboard.

 _So close. So, so close. Don’t stop, please._ She begged, their bond thrumming with shared pleasure as she undulated beneath his gaze.

 _Yes, baby. Let go… let go for me._ He told her, trying to hold back his orgasm, perilously close to slipping over the edge himself.

“Ben… Ben,” she moaned, her fingers digging into his arm as he felt it swell and crest over her, clenching around his fingers and all he could think about was how good that would feel around him when he was inside of her.

He grunted his own pleasure, his orgasm radiating from deep within his core, spreading himself onto her thigh.

Kylo removed his fingers from her wet heat, Rey shuddering at the sensation, her body assailed by the occasional tremor. He covered himself with the underwear that he’d barely pulled down and stretched out beside her, cradling her within his arms.

They were both slick with sweat, and breathless from what had just transpired, but more than that: he felt raw, exposed and vulnerable.

The ache for her was so intense that it felt like his chest was cracking open under the strain. Not just for her body, although he knew he would savor every inch of it if she let him. No, he yearned for more.

He wanted to see her sleepy eyes in the morning as they woke slowly, wanted to feel her warmth against his skin, the soft touch of her hand against his cheek. Kylo wanted her belly laughs and soft introspective sighs. He wanted to know what plagued her, chased her in dreams and left her so sad.

It was folly, he knew it. But god how he wished in that moment… for a future.

Where he’d hardly ever considered it, ignorantly believing his time was endless and unchanging, she’d upended his entire life. Now, he knew how quickly he could lose this, lose her, and he wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t want to fathom a life without her, and it scared him more than anything ever had.

“Shhh, I can feel you worrying over there,” she soothed, her lips pressing against his neck.

“I know we need to leave any moment, but I just want to enjoy this for a second,” Rey said, the smile palpable in her voice.

He acquiesced, helpless against her, coveting nothing more than to make her happy. So, they basked in the afterglow of their release, racing hearts slowing, perspiration cooling on their skin.

Kylo was left with a peace he’d never felt before, his mind finally stilling, body wrapped around her. A silent promise radiated from him, vowing that they would have this again, that he would spend as much time as he had left chasing these moments with her. Because nothing else mattered, not anymore.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

There was little time to think, to ruminate on what had just happened. Sweat still cooling on their skin, they separated and got dressed in silence, both of them stunned by what had just happened.

Rey felt strangely vulnerable, like an exposed nerve, everything just felt so much keener and more sensitive: her body, her emotions. She struggled to contain some of what she was experiencing, loathe to have Kylo know just how much this had affected her.

She was comforted slightly by the knowledge that he seemed just as shaken as she did, having a hard time trying to get a grip on his own roil of emotions. Rey tried not to think of the way he had reduced her to her baser needs, practically begging beneath the last man on earth she’d ever wanted to give in to.

His eyes burned into her back, his gaze leaving her warm and blushing. Their lives were on the line, she had to get herself under control. There was no time to wonder about the way they had fit together and how badly she wanted to get even closer.

They gathered what remained of their belongings, making sure to bring along their weapons, not clear on what to expect out here in the mountains, or where to head next without running into the Coalition. She knew they couldn’t be too far behind; had so much time had been taken to rest and feed.

Kylo knew the mountain passes far better than she did, but even so they were on high alert, the narrow pass between towering cliffs claustrophobic when she wanted so desperately to get space between them.

She couldn’t clear her head when she was overly aware of his scent and the heat coming off of his body where he walked behind her, still faintly limping from his injury.

They would have to find some kind of transport soon, there was no way they would make it all the way to Ajan Kloss on foot. At this point they were just trying to escape the Coalition and survive long enough to come up with a plan. Their chances were slim, the force against them so huge it seemed futile, but Rey wasn’t one for giving up.

It seemed Kylo wasn’t either. Something had changed in that throne room. He was fighting for something, a deeper purpose propelling him forward, keeping him on his feet even now.

It was silent, save for the crunch of their steps on the ground below and the occasional sound of an animal skittering away, sensing the danger they posed. Rey tried singing in her mind, anything to keep it from straying back to the impulses she’d caged for the moment.

“There are some abandoned outposts, from when mortals inhibited this area, the terrain was too inaccessible for the Coalition and due to the low population density, it didn’t make much sense to try and have a base here. Too difficult to set up utilities and travel without the use of crafts. We might be able to find some more supplies,” Kylo said, his voice jolting her out of her distracted thoughts.

“Okay, yeah. That sounds like a good plan. Any idea how far until we reach one?” Rey asked.

“There should be one coming up within the next thirty minutes if we keep up this pace,” he responded.

The conversation was stilted, their tones strangely formal after the intimacy they had just shared and she wondered how things between them would change. She’d barely known him for a week, the shifts in their relationship had all been so sudden and intense. Maybe this had been a huge mistake.

She could blame it on the adrenalin, gratitude for saving her life, something… anything to avoid the humiliation that she felt now, the insecurity that she had worked so hard to overcome.

Rey was done trying to find validation in others, had wasted her whole childhood waiting for a family that didn’t want her. She wasn’t about to make that mistake again for a man. No matter how beautiful he looked when he shattered above her or how tenderly he held her afterward.

She fought the urge to reach out through the bond, to assess his feelings. If he changed his mind about her she didn’t want to know, not while she felt so close to breaking down the walls she had built to protect herself.

They came across what seemed to be a workshop and general store, many years ago. The store had long since been raided, glass broken and glistening on the floor, catching the moonlight that spilled inside.

In the workshop however they were more fortunate, an old model speeder was in the process of being repaired when the mortals left. It was an antique and Rey wasn’t even sure if they’d be able to get it running again, but she had to try.

“I think I can do this, if I can find the right parts or even just rig some temporary ones we might be able to travel quicker, and leave less of a track behind,” she thought aloud, not even waiting for a response from him before she started examining the old transport.

The metal had rusted over time, handles creaking as she tested the mobility, and she knew the lubricants were filthy, she would have to drain them and try to filter some of it or find more if they had any hope of using it.

Kylo stepped out of her way, watching her work, and she tried hard to ignore the way his gaze made her feel and the urge she felt to prove herself to him.

Rey found herself in the familiar rhythm of working over a machine, listening and feeling her way around, the dark not as bad as it would have been as a mortal but still not ideal for such finicky tasks.

She found that the main issue with the speeder was the repulsorlift had been compromised, making it impossible to use in the condition it was in, but after tinkering with the system for a while Rey felt extremely satisfied when she was able to hotwire it and it rose off the ground with a gravelly purr.

She found an old generator in the back of the store and some gas to power it with and used it to charge the bike. Rey wasn’t sure how long it would last or if the battery was oxidized as well by this point but the fact that it was running was enough for now.

“I’d ask how you knew how to do that, but at this point I’m fairly certain there’s nothing you can’t do once you put your mind to it,” Kylo remarked, a slight smile on his face, his tone tinged with what sounded like admiration.

She blushed from the praise, surprised by how much it meant to her.

“I spent a lot of my time tinkering and reading, some of it stuck,” she said, shrugging the compliment off. “You’d better hop on behind me, we need to get going if we have any hope of outrunning the sun,” Rey finished.

Kylo nodded, his expression somber at the reminder of what was at stake. They only had a few more hours of night and a horde of vampires on their tail.

“We need to head down the pass, there will be a clearing soon and then we need to head north west toward Ajan Kloss in order to avoid the Coalition Core. It should be enough of a roundabout that the they won’t be able to guess our destination. Whether or not we get there in time will depend entirely on how fast this thing can go with both of us on it and if it runs out of juice before we get there,” Kylo said, echoing the doubt Rey had in her own mind.

But they had to try.

She nodded, straddling the speeder, waiting for Kylo to join her.

He sat behind her, the heat of his chest practically searing her back, his arms enclosing her as he leaned forward slightly to take the handles in those massive hands.

Rey leaned into him, her hands holding onto his forearms for stability, but honestly, she was sure she wouldn’t fall. He surrounded her almost completely, his thick thighs on either side of hers, arms braced beside her. She felt… safe.

She didn’t dwell on it too long, her breath snatched by the bike shooting out of the workshop and down the mountain pass, the dim light from the front of the speeder only serving to show how fast they zipped past the terrain around them.

They travelled again in silence, but this time it was due to the air filling their ears. Rey felt her hair flapping behind her and she worried that it was irritating Kylo, but he made no move to amend it, focused on driving.

The speeder ate up the distance, so much quicker than they ever would have been able to on foot, floating above the ground. For an antique it was handling really well, and Rey briefly toyed with the idea of fixing it up properly once they reached the Sentinels.

The only way to track them would be through scent, and with their wounds healed and the animal blood coursing through them their scents would be compromised enough to give them an advantage that they sorely needed.

The landscape changed slowly, giving way to the badlands of the Unknown Regions, difficult to travel through with its myriad of obstacles but the spectacular color of the blue stria and red scoria was evident even in the dark.

Rey felt that urge within that had excited her since she first left the Jakku desert, the marvel of exploring new realms and she mourned the fact that she would never get to discover the world fully. The Coalition had taken any semblance of regular mortal life and destroyed it, they were left fighting for their survival in the dregs of the lives left behind and taken.

Eventually they were able to travel easier, not having to dodge as much debris, slowly moving away from the darkest part of the night sky. They were getting closer, the area around them getting lusher with each league they travelled. At this rate it seemed feasible that they would make it to the base before dawn.

There wasn’t much of a choice, they didn’t have adequate protection against the sun and if they didn’t make it in time… they just simply wouldn’t make it at all.

Kylo seemed intense, from the bits she accidentally picked up through the bond. He seemed on edge, afraid that they would get caught either by the Coalition or out in the elements.

His emotions had another side to them, one that was almost foreign to her: protectiveness. It seemed he was more concerned about those things happening to her specifically, not just the danger they faced in general.

They would have to find a moment, once they survived all this, to sit down and actually have a conversation. Not one tinged with adrenalin and fear. Survival mode had gotten them this far but she was afraid of what else came along with it, they kept getting swept up in their situations and in their bond, and untangling all of that would just get harder the longer they ignored it.

They made it deeper into the jungles of the Ajan Kloss region, the thick canopy above them giving Rey a sense of hope, at least that might buy them more time if they didn’t outrun the sun. Kylo concentrated so intently she could almost feel it like an energy around him.

The greenery got thicker and thicker the further they went, and she knew he was trying hard to maintain their speed in an almost impossible environment.

“Where exactly is this forest base?” he asked, his voice carrying through the bond more clearly than it did out loud given the speed they travelled at.

“In the thickest part of the jungle, the base is built into the side of the mountain, so just head toward that if you can see it, I know it’s hard from the ground,” Rey answered, sending it through the bond even though she spoke as well.

She felt him nod, his chin grazing the top of her head, his knuckles tightening around the handlebars.

This close to base, she felt her stomach start to knot up.

Rey hadn’t told Finn about her condition, she would be returning to base as their enemy… what they feared most, with someone that had cost them all friends and family.

She only hoped that the first person she saw was understanding, someone that knew her well and would vouch for her despite the predicament she found herself in.

That anxiety was soon realized as they saw the cliff wall through a break in the trees. This was their only chance.

Kylo had saved her life, more than once. She owed him a debt. Even though she had helped him with his wounds she wouldn’t count it as repaid until she’d seen to his safety.

Rey hoped for her own but she knew that if it came down to it, she could probably set out on her own, revert to the scavenger she had been before. Survival was the most important thing now.

The edge of the base slowly came into view, a slight clearing in the bottom part of the trees, the canopy still intact but the terrain was more open.

A few other speeder bikes littered the area, parked where they could be easily concealed behind monstera leaves and other bushes.

Further away she saw a dim light emanating from the entrance to the base, just enough to let her know that someone was on patrol.

 _Stop the speeder here, we’ll enter on foot so that we’re less of a threat_. She sent through the bond.

Kylo pulled the speeder to a stop, both of them getting off on wobbly legs, hours of riding and the vibration of the bike throwing off their sense that the world was steady.

She knew it wasn’t, not anymore.

 _I’ll go first, you hang back slightly. It’s going to be a lot for someone to take in and I don’t want to endanger you before I’ve had the chance to explain._ Rey said and Kylo reached out, that mammoth hand wrapping around hers and giving it a light squeeze.

 _It’s going to be okay. There’s no way they will hurt you, you mean too much to them._ He said and she hoped it was true. She wanted to believe it, but she knew their mentality. They had all been hurt by vampires, feared them with their lives and fought that way too.

She just needed a opening.

Rey stepped away from Kylo, her hand feeling bereft the moment she let go of his, her heart pounding in her chest. Her tongue felt heavy and cumbersome, too big for her mouth and so dry she struggled to extract it from the roof of her mouth.

Han sat at the entrance to the base, a blaster in his lap and an old Western cradled in his hand, obscuring part of her face.

She felt a rush of relief so profound it almost brought her to her knees.

Han was seasoned, a hell of a shooter, but with him she at least had a chance.

The moment he noticed her presence, the blaster was clasped in his hand and aimed right at her chest.

Rey put her hands up in surrender, and she knew she must look ridiculous in Kylo’s baggy clothes, socks that had been ripped to shreds from running, blood splattered on the grey fabric. Her hair was windblown and unruly.

“Rey?” he asked, squinting to see her better, “What in the hell happened to you, kid?” he stood from his post, laying down his weapon and the book to take a step toward her.

His scent wafted in her direction and she fought the urge to vomit, either they had improved the formula or this was a new experience with her heightened senses. At least she was assured that the mortals would be safe around her, even if she had been starving, she wouldn’t want any of _that_.

“It’s been a long trip and I have a lot I need to tell you,” she started.

He smiled at her, his eyes crinkled at the corners, that roguish look on his face that had gotten them all in trouble more than once, “Wait until the gang find out you’re back. Finn had told us you contacted him, but we didn’t want to hope too hard until we saw you in person!”

“Wait, please, there’s something I need to tell you. It can’t wait,” she said, stopping him from turning into the base to alert the others.

He took a closer look at her then, the excitement dimming from his face.

“The hoard overwhelmed me. I managed to get them all but they injured me really badly,” she started, struggling to find the words to explain how she ended up here.

Confusion crossed his features as he took her in. She knew he would see blood but no injuries.

“I was dying, there was no other way to save me,” she finished lamely, too cowardly to spit out the words that would condemn her.

“What are you saying?” Han asked, his gaze flipping back to the blaster on his chair.

“She’s saying I turned her into a vampire,” Kylo said, stepping out of the shadows toward Rey, his expression brutal.

Within the second it took for him to reveal himself Han had the blaster back in his hand, now aimed above her head at the man who loomed behind her.

She couldn’t see Kylo, could only feel the thick oiliness of his emotions through the bond. So much pain and anger swirling together, that crack she had sensed before seeping its rotting contents.

What could have hurt him like this? Turned his soul so dark?

Han looked devastated, and she struggled to understand why. Surely, he should have shot her by now, been angry or sounded the alarm.

Instead his gaze was focused with his aim, his eyes shaded with a despair she could never hope to understand.

“ _Ben,”_ Han whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

Rey’s confusion grew, Kylo practically radiating his inner turmoil behind her, the name like a whip to his bare skin… somehow worse than Snoke’s punishment.

“Dad,” Kylo finally said, his voice a deep rumble and her worlds crashed around her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might be upping the chapter count soon, we'll see, but I doubt I can wrap everything up in 2 chapters, so probably.

Chapter 17

He felt like he was going to be sick, whether from the unrest within or the stench emanating from his father he couldn’t be sure. He hadn’t seen the man in a decade, stunned to realize how much he had aged.

His hair was shot through with grey, precious little of the brown mop he remembered. Han’s face was creased with age, a few laugh lines sure… he had seen them when Han smiled at Rey, but now he noticed the lines of worry carved into Han’s forehead and the deep frown as he saw Kylo for the first time since before he turned.

“What do you think you’re going to do against vampires with that blaster, old man?” Kylo asked, attempting to soften the rock that sat on his throat enough to speak. He tried and failed to have his tone seem more neutral than he felt.

Rey stood between them, her focus on the blaster, trembling. Kylo knew this must have been a shock for her as well. Her feelings toward Han were warm, familial. She had relaxed almost immediately after realizing he was the one on patrol. Now she struggled with connecting the man she thought she knew with the son she’d never heard about.

“Injure them enough that they’re distracted when I stake them,” came the gruff reply.

“And is that what you’re going to do with it now?” Kylo asked, more for Rey’s sake than anything else. Her terror filled their bond, though it seemed she was more afraid that Han would shoot him, not her.

“Depends on what you’re planning to do to us,” Han responded, the barrel still pointed at Kylo’s head, his grip showing the slightest tremor… the only hint that he was affected at all.

Han had seemed shocked to see Kylo, maybe even a little hurt, but there was no way of knowing. His father’s gambling face was back, revealing nothing.

“We do not mean you any harm, we’re fugitives,” Kylo answered, trying to set Han at ease, at least enough so that he put down his gun.

“Fugitives from what? You’re telling me that you’re on the run from your own kind?” Han asked, confusion crossing his features.

Kylo merely nodded. Han lowered the weapon, the grip still cradled in his hand, but his finger removed from the trigger.

Rey seemed to finally breathe, her relief almost palpable in the air, though Kylo knew it was only because the bond was wide open. He doubted they would be able to hide much from each other soon, each passing day strengthened the connection.

He wasn’t sure what she sensed from his end, but it must have been enough to jolt her out of her shock because she took a step back toward him and slipped her hand into his.

The touch was almost overwhelming, he’d gotten so used to wearing his gloves all the time, an attempt to desensitize himself to some of his heightened senses, but also as a barrier. Not wearing his helmet had a similar effect. He felt oddly vulnerable now, standing here with her hand in his, facing the father he’d resented for so long.

“Han, he’s saved my life so many times. He saved me out in the desert, he protected me and hid me from his men, and he killed their Supreme Leader in order to save me again. That’s why we ran, that’s why we’re here. We had nowhere else to go,” Rey said, squeezing his hand and Kylo only realized then that his was shaking.

“We, huh?” Han asked, one of his eyebrows cocking up in question.

“Yes, we,” she said, her voice steely, making it clear that there would be no arguing with her statement.

“I’ll have to go get Leia and talk this through with her before we make any decisions. But you’ve put me in a rough spot, kid. No one is going to be happy to know what you are now… not to mention the fact that you didn’t come back alone,” Han said, addressing Rey. Kylo felt a sharp pang when he heard his mother’s name.

He’d known they were alive, as an abstract concept he was aware, and he’d been involved in teams sent out to squash the mortal rebellion. Logically he knew that his parents were involved. Somehow, they’d always been involved, it eclipsed everything else. But seeing them in the flesh, being confronted with the choices he’d made, the things he had done… It stirred up a hurt long ignored, one he had fought years to suppress.

Rey stroked her thumb over the back of his hand, trying to soothe him, her inner stream of consciousness so muddied by his own turmoil and Kylo hated that he was tainting her with his own problems. She had been through so much within such a short span of time. The fact that she stood by his side after all of it… almost ruined him.

She was making a statement, her choice clear in how she spoke to his father. It was a strange feeling for him. He’d never felt like someone’s choice. With his parents he felt like a shadow, in the background and forgotten until enough light was shone to throw him into sharp relief. They were so absorbed with saving the world that he got lost in the shuffle.

With Snoke he constantly felt the need to justify even being there, had to put up with years of punishment and disappointment for every wrong move until he had hardened himself against it, but at least he was seen. He’d found a place to retreat to, to ignore the toll being in Snoke’s inner circle took.

Rey was different. They hadn’t liked each other at first. She didn’t know him. But somehow, they had both started to shift. He chose her over the life he had built, his team and his leader, and she chose him now in front of the family she had worked so hard to find. Even though she risked losing them forever, or death as a worst result.

He returned her squeeze as he watched his father retreat into the cave, a single gesture of his hand telling them to wait outside.

 _You didn’t have to do that. I know how much these people mean to you. Don’t jeopardize that for me. If they aren’t comfortable with me here, I’ll leave._ Kylo said to her through the bond, not daring to look down at her, not wanting to see her face in case she took him up on his offer.

 _You’re not leaving. Neither of us are._ Rey said, her stubbornness bleeding through the statement, as if her believing it would be enough to force it to be true.

 _Why didn’t you tell me your father was a Sentinel?_ Rey asked, the question hesitant in her mind, as if she knew she was crossing a line.

 _I hadn’t seen him in a decade. I wasn’t sure that he was even still alive. But I left that life behind me and I never planned on coming back._ Kylo said, and he knew that she could hear what he left unsaid: _until you._

 _I’m sorry they hurt you_. Was all she said in return and again he felt that piercing burn inside his chest.

She knew without him saying anything, without asking for the story. Despite her love for these people, his family included, she apologized to him for something that no one else had ever acknowledged out loud, Kylo included.

Yes, the rage and resentment were there, he even used them to fuel his endeavors within the Coalition, but Rey cut through all of that to the part he’d buried so far away he almost forgot it existed.

She reached out to that forgotten boy, knowing how it felt to be that alone.

They stood in silence, his heart rushing so loudly it filled his ears, the sounds of the jungle drowned out by its roar. He didn’t know what he was going to do. He hadn’t felt this afraid in a long time. He’d feared for Rey and it was overwhelming, he held apprehension toward Snoke every time that he was called in. But the prospect of seeing his mother, after he left them and betrayed them…

It struck something deeper, to the heart of who he’d left behind, he felt like little more than a child, terrified that he would be rejected again.

Leia and Han emerged from the mouth of the cave, his mother so much shorter than either him or his father. Her hair was tied up in an intricate braid, something he remembered from his childhood, a routine that she had continued through all this time.

She had aged as well, but the years had been kinder to her than Han.

Leia looked up at him with unfathomable dark eyes, her mouth an unreadable line. She took in so much in those few seconds: the changes since their last encounter, Rey beside him and their hands intertwined.

“Rey…” Leia said, question and apprehension and relief all crowded into one word.

Kylo struggled with it, with the knowledge that she hadn’t addressed him yet, even though her gaze kept skipping back to his face.

“Leia, please. We have nowhere else to go. We’ll help you with whatever we can, we can stay as far back as you need. Just don’t… leave us at the mercy of the hoards coming for us,” Rey said.

“We _…_ ” Leia said, more to herself than anyone else, staring at Kylo so intently that he felt about six inches tall.

“That’s what I said,” Han whispered to Leia.

“Yes, mom. We,” Kylo managed, daring her to challenge him.

“ _Ben_ …” Leia said, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears even though the rest of her body was held as still as possible.

“I go by Kylo these days,” he said, at a loss, the years sat between them like a gorge.

Her mouth folded into an unhappy line, displeasure plain.

“You have a perfectly good name, chosen in honor of someone who meant a lot to our family,” Leia said, unable to keep the scolding mom voice from taking over.

 _Wish you had cared about me as much as you did my name_ , Kylo thought, bitterly.

Rey squeezed his hand again and he wondered if the words that ricocheted in his mind had transferred through the bond.

“Leia, maybe we should worry about more immediate concerns,” Han said, reminding her of the issue at hand.

She nodded, turning toward him, their unspoken shared look reminded him of his connection with Rey and he wondered what it was to know someone so well that you could communicate with them through only a look. No bond to help along the way.

“Listen up, we don’t want to leave you out to dry but we have a lot of concerns,” Han started, facing Kylo and Rey again, crossing his arms against his chest. “For starters, our safety when it comes to your thirst,” he said.

Rey barked out a little laugh and Leia and Han both looked as if she was insane. The situation seemed anything but funny.

“Don’t worry about that. The medics did a good job. You all smell absolutely repulsive, vomit-inducing. We’ve had some luck hunting animals while on the run, they’ve proven decent if not ideal,” Rey said.

Kylo thought back to the lab on their last base, they understood far more than they realized. He wondered what else their team was working on.

Han grunted, nodding as if the answer proved sufficient.

“The other issue is the fact that you’re on the run and they’re looking for you. We constantly have to deal with keeping a low profile and running at the first sign of danger. If they have an increased load out looking for you… or tracked you here, we’re going to get caught in the crossfire,” Leia said, ever the tactician.

Kylo nodded.

“Yes, but we took every precaution we could not to betray your location, which is partly why it took us so long to get here. If they knew where we were, they would have captured us already. I suspect there is slight turmoil within the ranks, especially since Snoke and Brendol Hux are dead,” Kylo said, trying to offer what little consolation he could with the information they had on hand.

He had no idea how well the army was functioning under Armitage’s command. Kylo doubted it was ideal. Hux was ambitious, true, but he wasn’t well respected. He avoided field assignments; his ideas were often dismissed in front of others. The few Elders that remained would probably not take well to being under his command.

Not to mention the fact that their whole propagandistic lie had just been brought to light. The threat of a mutiny was quelled by the fact that everyone believed they would die if their makers did. Kylo had just shit all over that entire narrative. It wouldn’t be a surprise if some took advantage of the confusion to defect.

“I’ll give you all the information I have on them,” Kylo offered.

“Yeah, just like you did for them when you betrayed us and left to join,” came another voice from inside the cave, his parents obscuring the view but he recognized it regardless, the growly tone that seemed to reverberate through a barrel chest.

Chewy came up behind his mother, swallowing her shoulders with his hands. He towered over all of them, still the tallest person Kylo had ever met.

“We lost a lot of good people over the years, and you hurt your parents far more than they would ever say to your face,” Chewy said, his tawny hair and beard obscuring most of his face.

Kylo remembered him as a kind man, an honorary uncle, but he’d heard the stories of Chewy’s temper and how fiercely he protected the ones he cared about. Now Kylo existed outside of that circle.

Rey wrapped her arm around Kylo’s bicep and he realized he had clenched his fist, his fingers squeezing Rey’s a little too hard. _They hurt me too!_ He wanted to shout, but he knew he couldn’t jeopardize their only chance at survival.

He took a deep breath, trying hard to calm himself, his chest cracked open from the onslaught of the past and present clashing violently.

“Chewy… we can’t change what’s happened, and some things fall so far from the realm of rational choices that we’ll never be able to explain away the hurt they caused. You know me. I know him. Not as the person from before, but the man he is now. I vouch for him. So, are we going to help each other out, or not?” Rey asked, her tone firm.

Through the bond she sent him soothing waves of reassurance, as if to say she would go with him even if they couldn’t stay here. He wouldn’t be alone like that again.

Chewy grunted, clearly displeased, but not arguing further. It seemed the choice would be left to his parents. They exchanged another long look and Leia gave a small shake of her head, half a nod if that, obviously torn.

“You can stay for a few days. We’ll reevaluate depending on how it goes. But Rey, you know how the crew feels about vampires. We can shelter you from your kind for the time being and we’ll make it clear you’re under out protection, but some might turn on you. Be on your guard. We’re trusting you not to harm any of our people, _don’t_ break that trust” Han said.

“We won’t, thank you,” Rey started, “Is there anywhere we can rest that’s shaded? We travelled through the night and dawn is coming soon. If we’re caught out in it…” she trailed off, not wanting to think about the outcome.

Chewy huffed, not pleased with the reminder of what they were.

“We have a room that’s mainly used for storage, it’s windowless so it should serve your needs. Chewy will escort you and help you set it up,” Leia said, those dark eyes flashing up at the hulking man, and there was no arguing with that look.

The base was dark, quiet, most of them asleep. At least they didn’t have to deal with everyone when they arrived. Kylo was sure it might have devolved into a mob if his parents hadn’t been the first to discover them. Chewy walked ahead, a lantern in each hand to light the way. He only hoped that the briefing they gave while Kylo and Rey slept would be enough to keep the animosity at bay.

They walked through winding tunnels, deep within the mountain, so reminiscent of the desert base. Kylo was beginning to sense a trend: bases fortified by the elements, concealed by their surroundings and difficult to track because most activity happened deep within. They didn’t rely on abandoned towns, as the Coalition suspected and therefore patrolled.

Sure, the mortals might have looted some to get the equipment they needed at the start, but they had figured out a way to blend into their environment and not rely on the infrastructure and resources that made them easy to target.

Removed far from the sleeping quarters, stowed away with old storage and equipment, Chewy led them to a steel door that opened into a small room, making quick work of removing boxes and crates to clear off the floor.

Chewy retrieved two sleeping rolls from another room as well as some covers, shaking dust from them before he handed them over, careful not to get too close to Kylo or Rey. He set one of the lanterns on the ground near the door.

“When you wake up, follow the main tunnel back to the entrance, on the other side you’ll find the lab and strategy rooms. Han and Leia will probably be near one of the two. Don’t piss anybody off before you find them,” he warned before shutting them into the space.

Fatigue settled onto Kylo’s body, now that the immediate danger seemed to have passed, he was crashing. Rey unfurled their beds, placing them beside each other, the gesture knotting up his stomach in a way he couldn’t put words to.

They settled onto the ground, blankets covering them and protecting them from the cold, compact dirt. Rey settled in close to Kylo, her head tucked under his chin as she curled up against him… asleep within minutes, little purring snores coming from her nose.

He felt the ridiculous urge to laugh out loud, the situation was so surreal. What had he gotten himself into?

He’d broken his covenant by turning her, killed his leader and escaped back to his parents, all within a matter of days. Barely more than a week and his whole life had fallen to pieces.

Still, he wouldn’t change it. Not now that she was pressed against him, warm and content. Tomorrow would bring its own challenges, but for right now he would enjoy the peace that she brought and succumb to the exhaustion that coated his muscles like tar.

He wrapped an arm around her and closed his eyes, counting her breaths until everything faded to black.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Rey slept with an ease that had eluded her since she’d been turned. Maybe it was because she’d gotten so used to sleeping on the floor during her time with the Sentinels that anything else seemed wrong. Maybe it was because she’d been cradled within strong arms, the family she’d found over the years at the same compound.

She woke slowly, the room dark without the lantern to cast a pool of light, still she could make out the shelves against the wall and the outline of the door at their feet. Turning in his arms so that she faced him, Rey felt him shift his embrace, letting go so that she could get comfortable.

His eyes were already on her when she looked up into his face.

 _Did I wake you?_ Rey asked through the bond.

His expression was troubled, brows pulled down low over his eyes.

_No. I’ve been awake for a while. I was just watching you sleep._

Rey traced her fingertips over the creases in his forehead, willing them smooth. She was sure that he must have felt her intention through their bond, and so he focused on relaxing his face. Her lips curled into a small smile, but he noticed.

 _Did you know that you snore?_ He asked, his tone amused and Rey felt her face flame with embarrassment.

 _I do not!_ She argued, tracing the tip of her index finger down his nose, slightly crooked and a bit too large for his face.

 _It’s okay_. He said, planting a small kiss on the top of her head. _It didn’t keep me up… much._ Kylo was joking, she could tell, trying to lighten his dour mood by teasing her.

 _Do you know if the sun’s gone down?_ She asked, unexpectedly eager to get out and see her friends again.

 _Yes, about twenty minutes ago._ He admitted, far less enthused than she was and she looked at him more closely, trying to read the emotions obscured from his side of the bond.

Apprehension. Guilt. Fear.

He wasn’t sure how he would be accepted and she felt that same doubt sneak in. Perhaps her friends weren’t as keen to see her, given her condition. She shouldn’t assume that things would just pick back up where they were before all of this happened. It may only have been a short amount of time on paper, but a lot had changed since that day in the desert.

 _We’ll never know unless we try._ She said, addressing what he hadn’t even put words to.

His lush lips narrowed into a displeased line and he nodded. They couldn’t stay in this storage room forever, rich earth and dark comfort aside. The real world was waiting, and it was once again time for them to make some choices.

Kylo had promised that he would give them intel, Rey would do what she could, but she was arguably far less of an asset. They rose gingerly, Kylo lit the lamp and Rey neatened up their slightly padded bed rolls, clearing the floor once more. She was still in rough shape, barefoot, clothing barely more than tatters at this point. Kylo hadn’t fared much better. She would gladly give up her next feed for the opportunity to shower.

Once they’d rightened the room to its previous state they cracked open the heavy steel door and followed the narrow corridor toward the faint light in the distance. Chewie had said they’d find the lab and strategy rooms. Rey knew that Han would be working with the medics and what passed for scientists in the lab, maintaining the equipment and boosting morale before he saw to the rest of the crew.

Leia would be in the strategy rooms, planning a multitude of escape routes, trying to outsmart an enemy that outnumbered them a thousand to one. So far, she had been successful. They’d lost some people over the years, but far fewer than they would have without her.

The strategy room was first, dozens of heads flicking in their direction as soon as Rey pushed open the door. Leia stood at her perch, presiding over the others seated around the room. She noticed their entrance, gave a tiny nod and gestured for them to join. Wary mortal eyes followed their every move and they chose the spots furthest from any others.

“I’ve debriefed the team on what happened last night. I promised them more answers when you joined us,” Leia said, the fact that she would accept no other outcome was clear in her tone.

Kylo nodded and stood, turning to address everyone.

“I’ll answer any questions I can,” he said.

Rey could tell how difficult this was for him, although he’d never felt fulfilled or happy in his role with the Coalition, it had still been his life for a decade. He opened himself up to rejection, persecution and a wide range in between.

“Are you going to bite us?” she heard a voice say and turned to see Rose staring him down, almost like a challenge. Rey fought the urge to giggle at her friend’s intensity and the fact that she’d been braver than any man in the room, speaking up first. But Rey didn’t want to upset anyone.

“No, whatever your medical team administered is very potent. We have no desire to bite any of you, I promise,” Kylo answered, his mouth pulling down in disgust as breathed in the stench of the mortals around them.

“How did you find us?” Poe asked, suspicion etched into his tanned face, his usual charming smile missing.

Rey answered this from her seat, “That was me. I reached out and Finn told me where to find you. We were in danger and I didn’t have the time to disclose my situation. I’d hoped for the chance to do so once we got here.”

Poe nodded, and Rey knew he already had the answer to this, it was more of a test than a genuine request for information.

“Why were you in danger?” Ackbar asked, the usually quiet man speaking up from the back of the room. He’d been an admiral before the world ended.

“I killed the Supreme Leader of the Coalition,” Kylo answered and the room erupted into multiple conversations at once.

She couldn’t make out all of the words, the cacophonous talking proved difficult to follow, but she heard the emotion behind some of their words. Some were excited, others alarmed. Rey couldn’t blame them; this was something they’d hoped for so long. Now that they were faced with it, they all realized there had never been an actual plan for after this outcome.

Leia raised her hands to silence the din and they quieted almost immediately. She was the supreme leader here, only far kinder.

Rey struggled to dismiss the memory of Kylo being tortured by his master.

“Why?” came an angry voice from the back and Rey saw that Finn must have slipped in during all of the excitement.

She wanted to explain, to pull him aside and apologize for her deception. Hurting him, betraying him had not been her intention. She could tell that he was upset by what had happened, angry that Rey had come back as a vampire, and worse still: brought along the enemy.

Kylo measured Finn, his gaze darker than Rey had seen in a while, not dissimilar to how he had looked at Ap’lek before the fateful encounter with Snoke that led them here.

“He threatened someone dear to me. I didn’t take kindly to that,” Kylo answered, his voice low and his jaw tight around the words. Rey could sense through the bond that his answer was as much a reply as it was a threat.

He’d picked up on the feelings Rey had toward Finn, her excitement at seeing him again, and she felt the prick of jealousy course through their connection. On the other hand, his statement was very much aimed at everyone in the room, the message clear: anyone who threatened Rey would be dealt with accordingly.

“How do we know you won’t turn on us the way you turned on them?” Holdo asked, her signature purple hair sticking out among the muted blondes and brunettes of their crew. Rey still had no idea how she maintained that color while they were in hiding and civilization had crumpled into nothing.

“Because of her,” Kylo answered, gesturing at Rey. “You are her family, and from the moment I turned her she’s been trying to make her way back here, I wouldn’t do anything that would hurt her. I turned on them because of her. I killed them to protect her,” he said gesticulating his frustration before folding his arms across his chest, as if he became aware and wanted to hide his hands… to keep them from giving more away.

Rey could tell he was uncomfortable being scrutinized like this, having to answer for some of his choices. She also knew he was lucky they weren’t digging too deep into his past choices. He’d been hunting them, in control of the task forces that swept through their hiding spots and drove them from every home they made.

She hadn’t yet figured out a way to forgive him for that, despite her strong feelings for him, it was something that she would probably never forget.

“None of us are perfect. We’ve all killed, some to survive, some to colonize. Blood stains all our hands. He’s not here for your forgiveness, it’s not something that you can give. But we will do what we can to help, and maybe that will be the first step toward atonement,” Rey offered and she felt Kylo’s hurt cut through her.

She knew he felt her conflicted feelings, the blame that she still carried toward him, despite their recent closeness and her defense of him. He resigned himself to it, helpless to do anything but.

“Who leads the charge now?” Leia asked, turning the conversation back to intelligence and planning, ever the tactician.

“Armitage Hux. Son of one of the Elders, or former Elder at this point, I suspect he killed his father to take power in the aftermath of my murder of Snoke. The Elders are some of the first vampires and they are solely responsible for turning more of our kind,” he explained and Rey saw everyone lean forward slightly, eager to learn more of the enemy that threatened them.

“We were indoctrinated to believe that they were our masters, that our lives depended on theirs… if they were killed, we would die as well. That turned out to be false. I only learned that when I killed Snoke, my master. I suspect that they’re dealing with some insurrection as a result, that lie kept those in power safe. The hierarchy is toppling as we speak,” Kylo finished.

Leia nodded at his account, presumably assuming the same.

“This _Hux_ , is he as much of a threat?” Han asked, his arms folded over his chest as well, but reclining against the wall, a mirror and mockery of his son.

“He’s weaselly. The Elders have ignored and mocked him for years, overshadowed by his father’s achievements and presence. Hux is angry and ambitious, and although he doesn’t possess the cool cleverness and manipulation of Snoke… he’s not incapable. He’s always hated me. I’m sure he will come for me, more for petty revenge than to squash this rebellion,” Kylo explained, his face a sneer as he described his enemy.

“And why shouldn’t we turn you out for him to capture? Why is your regicide our problem?” Finn asked, his disdain for Kylo clear and Rey felt her heart rip a little on the surface.

Her best friend hated the man that she was bonded to, the man that saved her and held her like she was precious.

“No offence, but the Coalition has been your problem long before I killed their leader. You can cast me out, I’ll do my best to survive, and I’m sure I’ll die before long,” Kylo said, shrugging as if the thought didn’t bother him over much. “But they will continue to come for you, regardless.”

They knew he was right. Rey panicked slightly when she heard his nonchalance toward death, not wanting to think about a world without him in it, not wanting to put a name to why it mattered so much to her.

“How can we help, Leia?” Rey asked, trying to divert attention away from the two men that stared each other down.

“We will continue to go over intelligence over the next few days. For now, the best way you can help us is by joining us in the lab,” she said and gestured to a door off to the side of the room.

Rey rose from her seat and Kylo walked over to her before they followed his mother out of the room. Every face they passed as they walked was full of doubt, or fear, or anger. She had to turn her head from Finn’s glare, her skin so hot it felt like it would ignite when Kylo stepped behind her, placing his hand on her lower back to encourage her through the door.

She knew Finn was watching, and even without being able to read his mind she knew exactly how he reacted to that touch, his eyes bored like a drill into the back of her head.

The room was pristine, tarp had been laid down to cover the floor and the area doubled as the med bay, a few beds lined up on one end of the room. A plastic encasement on the other and inside Rey could see microscopes and other scientific equipment. She’d never spent much time around the lab, had always been more useful as a mechanic. The few times she’d been cared for in the med bay she’d been mostly unconscious, waking in her room by the time the medicine kicked in.

Kylo shut the door behind the three of them, and with her enhanced hearing Rey picked up the hushed conversations that started up the second the latch bolt clicked in place. She couldn’t make out the words but she knew how she would be reacting if the situation was reversed.

“You managed to work out a deterrent, how?” Kylo asked his mother and Leia looked grim.

“We’ve been working on some of this for quite a while now. Studying your kind. It hasn’t been easy, and we haven’t been very open about it. After some initial tests we were able to figure out that the scent and thirst response that drives vampires to feed uses the same chemical reactions as pheromones, specifically food trail pheromones,” Leia explained, gesticulating with her hands and Rey realized for the first time that this was a trait Kylo shared with her.

She then gestured over at the lab technicians, “once they were able to hone in on what caused us to be attractive to the vampires they reverse engineered it into a capsule that our people take daily. It changes the way we smell and thus inhibits the pheromone response,” Leia finished.

Rey hadn’t bothered to ask how it all worked at the time, all she knew was that the pill they had them take would protect them against getting bitten. She’d assumed it was a form of low-level poison or something, only dangerous to the vamps. This made more sense.

“Impressive. I assume you had a test subject?” Kylo asked, working to keep his tone neutral.

Again, something that hadn’t occurred to Rey but it made sense, how else could they have figured this all out?

“Yes, one of our own had accidentally been turned. The vampire that did it was killed shortly after,” Leia said. Rey knew something was being left unsaid. She’d never even heard of this insider vampire.

“Where is this vampire now?” Kylo asked, echoing the question from Rey’s mind.

“Dead,” Leia said, her voice emotionless, “we were raided by one of your bands a few years back and they were roasted out in the sun as we escaped,” she explained.

“If this was a few years ago, why did we only get the capsules recently?” Rey asked.

Leia gave a big sigh, her petite shoulders rising and dropping heavily with the rush of breath that left her nose.

“Without him around to help us continue the research we were slowed down significantly. A lot of it has been trial and error,” Leia admitted.

“And now that we’re here, you’re hoping we’ll submit to testing for something else?” Kylo asked and Rey fought to keep the shock from her face.

 _Of course_. Of course, this was part of why they welcomed them in, and mentioned the lab to them last night. Rey wanted to help in any way she could, including putting her body on the line. Kylo didn’t seem to feel the same, Rey tasted the metallic tang of blood through the bond where he’d bitten the inside of his cheek trying to stay calm.

Distrust poured through his body and she wondered what had gone wrong between them all those years ago. Clearly things had not ended on good terms.

“Yes,” Leia said, looking Kylo straight in the eye, her gaze unflinching. Rey had seen her fight off vampires, and plan and work, and forgo sleep to see to their protection. She had no doubt that Leia would put them on the line to ensure the safety of the others, even if that meant running tests.

“We’ve been working hard at something else for a long time, way before we even dreamed up the capsules and figured out the pheromones, and built labs wherever we went,” Leia continued.

“What?” Rey asked, finally breaking the spell between mother and son, both of them turning toward her at the sound of her question.

“A cure,” Leia said and Rey felt her heart stutter within her chest.


End file.
